My ex-bf says he will hire a lawyer and my baby will be his before it is born, how do i handle his threats?

Question

I datedthis guy who was almost perfect in the beginning-he texted me all the time, hung out everyday, listened to me and held me when i was upset, always asked me if i needed anything, complemented me alot, etc. u know the drill. well, he slowly changed and began making violent threats, hitting on otherwoman, seeing me 2 -3 times aweek when i live about 8 bloks away, smoking weed behind my back, etc. before i broke it off i found out i was pregnant and things got twice as bad. i tried to work it out because i m pregnant but i just can't. when he found out i was pregnant he told me to get a blood test, the urine test lies-even the one at the doctors. then he told me there is less than a one percent chance he can have kids he tried to donate sperm and they told him all the everclear he drank made hissperm pretty dormant then accused meof sleeping around. after i told him i couldn't believe he thoughticheatedhetoldme ifheactually thoughti I cheated hewouldhave came&kicked me inthe stomach

Answer 1

isn't everclear water sorry I think I've missed something but he can't take you baby away and if you feel threatened get an restraining order and make sure you tell the police so that if he does do something it is on record.. good luck

Answer 2

Sorry to hear your going through this while pregnant.

1. make a diary/journal with dates, etc of the abuse (verbal, emotional, or physical) and the threats he has made. This way if you decide to file a restraining order you have documentation to support your claims. (witnesses also help)

2. don't acknowledge him at all, he may get the idea and go away.

3. If your not after support from him (i wouldn't be cause he will be in your life like this forever) then don't put his name on the birth certificate. You don't have to, and he doesn't have to know when you go into labor. After this he would have to fight and pay for paternity testing to be done.

His threats and what he claims he will do with a lawyer are all just another form of his abuse, and you don't have to put up with it. get yourself a good social support system and stop worrying about him, he can't take your baby away, you have done nothing wrong and I'm sure you'll be a great mom.

Good luck

Answer 3

It sounds like you need to get a restraining order to keep you and your baby safe.  Also, if you get the restraining order first it looks a lot better just in case him or his family do try to do anything legally to take your baby - their chances would be pretty limited.

Please take this seriously so he doesn't harass you and your baby forever !

Good luck

Answer 4

Of course he says he can't make babies! He is trying to avoid child support.  Document all info you have on this creep. Especially if you know when he is doing drugs. It will help you fight him.  Sounds like he is a no good loser to me.  Get a restraining order if you feel threatened. If he has made threats, contact the police.  Again, keep anything that he has sent to you, it will help back you up.

Good Luck to you

(note: Everclear is not water, it is grain alcohol)

Answer 5

The first thing you need to do is realize that this man is an emotional and verbal abuser.

The second thing you need to do is to file a restraining order.

The third thing you need to do is to start straightening your life up NOW.  Find an appropriate place to live, get a job, take parenting classes, seek counseling, etc.

He can NOT get custody of your child before s/he is born, and after the baby is born it is unlikely he would get custody unless he can prove you an unfit parent.  However, because of your history of suicide, etc. he would have a case against you so you need to get your act together now.

Document EVERYTHING.  Write down RIGHT NOW everything you remember.  From now on, any contact you have with him, write down exactly when, where and what kind of contact it was (meeting, phone, text, etc) and what happened/what was said.  Keep this up even if things seem to be going smoothly, because chances are he will flare up again.

I hope this helps, and I wish you and the baby the best!

Answer 6

report the guy to teh police.. hitting a preg woman in teh stomach.. not good.

Answer 7

he cant have your baby before it is born for sure. the custody will be the mothers always if there is no medicine record on file that the mother is a drug addict/ abuser and/or alcoholic and/or has any psychiatric medical condition so you wont need to worry if you dont have these problems !!

Answer 8

Obviously he is not informed well. This is just not possible. Get a restraining order since he has threatened you and stay away from him. Do not try to work it out as he is trying to manipulate you. When the baby is born get a dna test at the child support agency near you so that you can be in a well secured area. (Let's not act as if he will just sign a birth certificate and start paying child support.) Once paternity is established, they will immediately begin working on a child support order. Visitation is up to you, but I would not let him take the child. Get it set up through a court and since he is violent or just threatening violence, you can petition that all visition be supervised. Good luck. You can do it.

Edit: I just want to point out that your depression and anxiety will not hinder a case if you are seeing a professional to handle the problem.

Answer 9

I am so sorry you are in this situation and have no family to turn to.  The only way a judge will take away a child from the mother is saying she is unfit. This is not easy to do. I would not worry about him. Focus on you and your pregnancy. The stress could cause preterm labor. If he calls dont answer just relax and lean on your friends.

Answer 10

If he was only a bf I highly doubt he would have any rights to the baby anyway. check with your local citizens advice bureau.

Answer 11

there would have to something pretty shady in oyur past for a court to bother taking a newborn child from its mother

he is probably just being an idiot so just ignore his attempts to contact you when he finds a new girlfriend or relises he isnt bothering you he will probably have no interest int he child anyway

my ex threatened me and everything said allthose stupid things and his bothered to see his child twice on 7 years so i wouldnt worry unless you recieve officil court documents or something

good luck

Answer 12

Call the police and make reports every time he threatens you or anything. You have to have a paper trail for anything to hold up in court. I was actually beaten when I was pg with my 2nd daughter, and I about lost her. Everytime he threatens, call the cops. Take everything he says seriously and if you can, get proof of his bad habits (drinking, drug use, etc) and have pictures or witnesses. No honorable judge will take a baby from its mother unless the mother is proven beyond reasonable doubt unfit. You have nothing to worry about in that department. Please don't let him get to you or put his hands on you. I do not agree with abusive men (or women), and violence is unnecessary. Start your paper trail, and if you have to, there are hotlines for abused women (verbally and physically) and plenty of places willing to help with restraining orders, etc. No more attempts on your life, you have something worth living for now. If you can't get help from parents, don't worry. You can do this. I did mine on my own, it's hard, but well worth my life and my daughter's. Good luck, and take care of that lil one in the oven.

Answer 13

I am so sorry hun... what a jerk ! I dont wish your situation on anyone ! I've been through similar stuff with my babies father and it's not fun. But trust me he cannot take that baby away from you unless you are unfit or using drugs or something. He may take you to court and try but the most he will get is joint custody. Now if you say he's using drugs you can request a drug test for him and try to stop any type of custody if that's what you want. Good luck to you and just try to relax for your baby. I know its hard but you dont need all of his stress making you lose the baby.

Answer 14

Restraining order and tell him it is not his!  If he stops acting crazy give him a chance to be a father!  If not you dont need him!

Answer 15

Simpley infrom ur parents and they will talk to his parents and his parents probably wont let him have the baby depending on his age, also it sounds like hes been an @$$ so he might just be trying to torment u with these threats, but ye just tell ur parents and they should take care of it, good luck Hope it works out <3