My ex boyfriend has custody of his 6 yr old son. I have been a mom to him since 2 yrs old. can i get rights?

Question

I want to get visitation rights to my ex boyfriends 6 yr old son. I have been a mother to him almost everyday since he was 2 yrs old. My ex has full custody and has made comments that he is none of my business anymore. I heard of a story where a step dad got rights to his step son and I want to know if I can...

Answer 1

I wish I had good news for you but I don’t think you have much of a chance.

You can talk to a lawyer but again, I think you’re stuck. The only way a step-parent can have visitation (in my opinion) is if they adopted the child because the biological parent either signed over rights or they abandoned the child. But usually you need the one who has custody to sign off on that and being that you two are split, I highly doubt he would.

What you should do is go about it one last way by writing your ex a letter. Explain that it’s you just want to see the child and continue to be part of his life but you feel that it would also benefit the child a great deal as well. Pour your heart out if you truly love the child. I know I would….

All in all, I’d say that you’re only chance is to wait till the kid is old enough and can seek you out himself. Sad, but it’s the way things go. Stepparents don’t have rights and with divorce rates as they are nowadays, I have to say I somewhat I agree with it. It’s to protect the kids….

I wish you the best of luck!

Answer 2

You have no right to the boy as you were never married to the father. If you were a step parent as your example shows, then you would have a fight. As it is, though, the boy is none of your business. Perhaps you should exercise caution when getting involved with a boyfriend's child.

Answer 3

I think "Momto2in..." is right!

Answer 4

He's not your biological son and you were not married to his father so you don't have anything to take to a lawyer or to court.

Answer 5

It's unfortunate that your ex-boyfriend can't see how it might be beneficial for his son to continue a relationship with you.  I have heard of step-parents and grandparents being granted visitation rights, but unfortunately, it's because they have some type of legal or blood relationship with the child.  It doesn't sound like you have any legal recourse, but you could continue to try to talk to your ex and get him to see where it makes sense to let his son see you since you've been so involved in his life.  I was in a similar situation where I lived with my boyfriend and helped raise his son, but fortunately, we were able to get along and I was able to continue to be a part of the child's life after we ended our relationship.  The boy is now 27 years old and I still refer to him as my 'step-son', even though he is not by law.  Good luck to you.

Answer 6

wow...thats hard esp if u earn that feelings for that child.

i had that same experience. where me and my bf break up and i was so attach w/his son.

its hard for the child ofcourse.....but to avoid complication for his son.........i let go.

Answer 7

unfortunately there isnt a way for you to get rights to him as hes not your biological child, and you havent adopted the child as your own legally. it sucks, and is hard for you as well as the child, and honestly i tihnk its selfish of the bio parent to do that to their child when someone has been mom or dad to them like that.

Answer 8

Thats sweet of you. But to for the childs health, It's up to the father. Since he does have full custody. Maybe you can arrange plans with the little one like the ex boyfriend you wanna take the lil one to chuck e. cheese or somewhere motherly and son will go. And if he still disagree than I guess theres no hope til he turns 18. Hope this helps.! good luck

Answer 9

i do not think so( from some of my lawyers friends)....maybe if you could talk to him for his son sake...he might say yes.

Answer 10

Darn right you can. That child was a part of your life for 4 years. You took care of him and now he is part of you. I think that if your ex wont give you rights then you should take his bootay to court. (:

Good Luck (:

Answer 11

No..you can't.  If a step father got rights to his step son, that's because he was married to the boys mother.   You have no relation to the father of the boy or the boy.

Answer 12

Consult an attorney.  

Answer 13

He's not blood related-no chance of rights.

Answer 14

It depends on the state you live in and on the judges interpretation of the Family Laws in your state.

You certainly have the right to file for either visitation or custody of the child. However the burden of proof will be on you to prove that it is in the best interest of the child for you to have visitation. If you can provide proof then you may have a chance of getting court ordered visitation. However, most judges do not like to interfere with the rights of biological parents, so that does work against you.  

Answer 15

You were never a biological mother nor a stepmother to the boy. You have as many custody or visitation rights as I do.

Full custody means that the court has to determine that your ex boyfriend an unfit parent to change the arrangement, and then the next person they would look to is the biological mother. Then perhaps their siblings or grandparents or cousins. You were never a blood relative, you were never a legal guardian. You were never a blood relative to a legal guardian, and you were never a legal guardian to a blood relative. Your status as an ex-girlfriend is so far down the line that I wouldn't even bother, honestly. He is correct, his child is "none of [your] business anymore."

The story you heard is not the same as your situation. If true, the stepfather was married to the boy's mother and was considered a legal guardian to his stepson. That is, the stepfather legally adopted the stepson. Since you and the boy's father were never married, you have no such relationship to the boy as far as the a family court is concerned (you were never a part of a legally recognized family).

Answer 16

It depends on your state. A lot of the time they just say that the child is between the biological mother and father. The story about the step son was probably a child adopted by a couple, then the couple was divorced and the "step father" remarried. I have heard of that, but I don't know about a biological son and a step mother. I think if one of the parents has custody then it is up to them. If there's no blood relative then it's up to the family caring for the child at the time. consult an attourney about that. They would know how to go about getting custody or if it's even possible.

EDIT: I think he would have to sign over the rights to you, and I doubt that he would do that as long as you're not in his life. Another way to go about it would be to let the child decide for himself. If he is old enough, then he can. In California the child has to be at least 13 years of age to make the decision, and even then the judge gets the final say in the matter. If there's a mother figure in his life at all (child support, visitation, shared custody, etc.) then there is much less of a chance of you getting any visitation at all, let alone custody. My aunt went through the same thing with a child, and she was a close relative. She just wasn't close enough to keep the child. The judge told her that they give custody according to who wants it starting from the closest blood relative to the least. And, like one of the people above me said, the parents could call it harassment and get a restraining order, or a citizen's arrest on you.

Answer 17

just back off.... you don't need custody rights for a boy that is not even yours.

Answer 18

By law you can't. You aren't his Biological Mother, So you honestly have no rights or say in the matter. I went through a similar issue with an EX of mine. It hurts and sucks but There's nothing that can be done. Unless your name was on the Birth Certificate, you can't have any say in the child's life, as per the law.Just for a word of caution, He could actually call the police on you, if you persist in your attempt for Custody and visitation. You could be viewed as a Danger to the child's well being, In the way of making the child's relationship with his father unstable, thus cause problems. A restraining order could be placed on you. Or worse. I'm only saying this for your own safety.

Answer 19

I DONT THINK SO!LIKE YOUR EX SAID IT'S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS ANYMORE YOUR NOT THAT CHILD'S MOTHER!

Answer 20

You need to get a lawyer and take him to court.