My ex fiance and I have been separarted for about 4 weeks?

Question

she cheated on me and since have seperated. she now wants to take things slow and put no lables on what we are. we went out on a date already and it was a good time. becasue of our schedules we have only chatted on the phone. she complains about her finances and how she cant afford things. she then stated we should join a gym together. she started to complain about her cell phone and she needs a new one but at the same time hugs and kisses me. she suggested in a way that her birthday was coming and that this concert falls on the day and that we should go. when we were together I did take her to a concert for her birthday last year.

She set up this rule that she needs time for her she wants to go out with her girlfriends and that she did not want to feel like she was being tied down by me. I never stopped her from doing that during our relationship. I went to a bar last night with my bro and she called me.

I told her I was out and that to call me tomorrow. well we spoke today and she got all pissy about how she heard girls talking during our conversation last night on the phone, now she denies that she was pissy. so as we continue talking I asked her about when we were going to go search around for a gym. she stated that her girlfriend was an instructor and that she would maybe do it for free. I asked her about talking a walk with me in the park she stated that becasue her job requires walking she didnt think it would make any sence to walk in the park. it seems like one day she loves me to death and the next she doesnt. I play her game by her own rules and she doesnt like it.

what should I do.

Answer 1

Rebound time!  Forget the Right one.  Get the one you can fine Right Now!  Enjoy!

Answer 2

Sounds like she's either:

1) not sure what she wants

2) playing you for money

I would give her a break for a while and give her that space she so desperately wanted until she realized she couldn't afford concerts/etc. on her own.

Just my take on it.  

Answer 3

It sounds to me like she wants to have her cake and eat it too.  She doesn't want you but she doesn't want anyone else to have you.  You need to cut her loose.  She sounds like a mooch.  She is fine as long as you are buying her things and doting on her.  Tell her she can have as much space as she wants and to leave you alone.  I realize you probably have a past, but is this really what you want for your future??

Answer 4

Honestly I would leave her alone. It sounds like she is used to getting things her way. She feels like she can change the rules at any point in time and you will just comply with them. Sounds like she has a lot of growing up to do because the real world does not work that way.

I would get out of this now. It doesn't sound like a very healthy relationship.  

Answer 5

Start standing up for yourself man. Stop playing her game and tell her off. She cheated on you...so you call the shots and determine how things are going to be if you are to get back together, not her. Sounds like she is confused on what she wants, but she wants to have her cake (your support and the comfort of having you there) while she eats it to (going out to bars with the girls, not feeling obligated to you so if she does find someone she can go with them and not feel bad). Tell her you are either in or out and if your out take a hike. Be a man bud, not her lap dog that comes barking when she wants you.

Answer 6

give it time, w hat do you want..do you t think she wants to get back together so you can help her out financially? i would think long and hard about it.

Answer 7

You need to talk to her about everything you listed here...and if she can't be bothered to listen or discuss it with you, then there is your answer. She sounds like she is being selfish, and since she already cheated on you once she should be the one trying harder to figure things out. You sound reasonable and your points make sense, so I bet you would have no trouble finding someone who is better for you anyway!

Good luck.

Answer 8

I honestly think you should leave her alone. you are only setting yourself up for failure. It sounds like she wants you only when it is convenient for her. And it sounds like she wants you for your money. I would move on as fast as I could. She does not want you but she does not want anyone else to have you either. She wants your money but does not want you to have any say so over her either. She wants her cake and eat it to. I would not be that person. You sound like a great person. Any girl that gets you and wants all of you is going to be lucky. Don't feel like you can't move on b/c you can. I would not waste another minute on her. Or you could test her. Stop taking her calls and stop asking her to do stuff with you until it is convenient for you. Don't be available to her whenever SHE wants. You call the shots sometimes. If that does not turn her around I would move on. You deserve someone that wants all of you.  

Answer 9

I think her behavior says a lot about this situation. First she cheated on you. Second, when you guys broke up she realized that she lost the person that was taking care of her. Becuase of this fact she wants to take it "slow". At the same time she hints around that she has money problems but she wants this and this. She's hoping that you will catch on and buy her these things. Third, she wants to go out and do her thing, but then she gets upset when you go out and do your thing. How is that fair. My advise to you is to sit and think on your own if she is really worth all this game playing. If you decide she is then continue with your relationship. If not, then cut your ties fast and get out of there.  

Answer 10

What should you do? You should take care of yourself and give yourself some respect.

Be alone for awhile; you will realize there are worse things than being alone - like being in a relationship with someone who doesn't fully love and respect you.

Answer 11

how old is she?

Answer 12

well, i only know half of the story, but sounds like your girl wants you when ever she needs you.  such as to pay her bills, buy her a new cell phone, and take her to a concert on her birthday.  If you were planning on getting married, but she said she wasn't ready, maybe you should take a step back and take this chance to live your own life for a bit, not hers.  Let her get cought up with her finances before you decide to get married to this girl.  and with the cheating?  why put up with all of this?  you know what to do, no one but you can give you the answer!

Answer 13

You can stop being her puppet and find someone who is easier to be with and who really wants to be with you.

It seems like this chick is hanging around for whatever she can get from you.  Stop catering to her.

Answer 14

Grow a spine and some balls and tell her it's over and move on!

Answer 15

Try not talking to her for at least two weeks (30 full days would be best, but my fiance and I couldn't manage that. Two weeks was all we needed.) This break will give you time to figure out what each of you really wants, and will also give you time to calm down and best determine how to put your emotions and concerns into words.

I know how hard this sounds - but my fiance and I did it before we ever got engaged and our relationship improved 150%.. There wasn't any infidelity, just some uncertainties at the time ( I was still in college, he had already graduated and bought a house).  

Answer 16

If she has cheated on you and now is pulling this "Jekyll and Hyde" routine on you, consider yourself lucky you did not go through with the wedding.

It sounds from what you describe here that she only wants you on her terms.  That's never a basis for a good relationship.

I'd recommend you cut all ties with her and move on with your life.

Good luck.

Answer 17

I hate to break it to you...but it sounds like she is trying to use you. She wants you when she wants you. Or when she wants something. I think you need to take some REAL time away from her. Talk to other girls, see if she is who you really want. And do not forget, she did cheat on you. Can you really forgive that?

Answer 18

That's exactly what she is doing "Playing Games". I am sure you will find someone that will take you serious If, your serious!!!