My ex had an affair and now he wants to introduce my son to this woman. Am I crazy for saying NO?

Question

He is my son's step father and a very active part of his life even though we are no longer together.

Answer 1

I wouldn't have that w***e anywhere near my son. I understand that his step-father has been a father figure in his life, but them continuing a relationship could be harmful to your son in the long run. He should be a good example and role model to your son, instead he is showing him that he has no morals, ethics and is not honest and faithful. That kind of man doesn't need to be around your son. You don't want that to rub off on your son, and that be a role model for how a man should really be. Is his biological father in his life, or perhaps an uncle or grandpa? Just give it time, you will meet someone worthy of you and your son soon.

Answer 2

um you have ever right to say no. now if he was the child's biological father i don't think you would have the right to say no. tell him to back off and NO your son isn't going to meet that tramp

Answer 3

that is not his son, and you as his mother have every motherly and legal right to tell his *** NO

Answer 4

Make sure your son don't be  near that (tramp)you have a right for  being protective with your son.

Answer 5

No you're not crazy, but you might think about reconsidering. I assume when you say you are no longer "together" that that means you have been legally divorced? If so, it's time to begin the healing process. Part of that might be to allow your son to meet the new woman in your ex-husband's life. The first question I would ask, and clearly the most important, is whether your child wants to meet her. If your child has a close relationship with their father, and it sounds like they do, then you might want to begin the divorce healing process by allowing your child to meet her if they choose.

Answer 6

Well done! U did the right thing!

Ex is ex. He has no right , no matter how 'active', do not let yr son be 'influenced' by yr Ex-.he is crazy to ask u this.

Answer 7

no way, you are right! tell him to make his own son and then he can do whatever he wants!

Answer 8

Its Up 2 You , But As Long As He Sees His Dad

Answer 9

Of course you can say no, but you're using your son as a tool to get to your ex, which is sad. You say he is very involved in your son's life, which is good, so I'm assuming your son loves and is close to him.

I'm appalled that you would say he is LUCKY to be a part of your son's life, like you're doing him a favor. What about your son? Honestly if you didn't let your son see his stepfather for whatever reason out of your own bitterness and anger, who would be the most hurt over it? Your son of course. It's not his fault you're bitter or that his stepfather is an ***.  

Answer 10

Remind him he's just the step father and he has no say so when it comes to your son.  

Answer 11

I think is okay, it is no secret you got divorce got him a new daddy and the daddy will show his new girl.

You were supposed to wait until your son turned 18 years old and then find your lover.  You have done everything backwards and your poor judgment shows already.

Answer 12

He is your ex and he has gone on and someday soon you will too. No one likes it, but it is what does happen. Dont put your son in the middle. Since the ex isnt his biological father you just dont know what will happen in the future. That door swings both ways, if I were her and it became serious I would not like him seeing your son when it is not his - so remember that is still a link to you and she wont like it either.

Answer 13

You are right.

We bend over backwards to protect our kids from bad influences on the Internet and the TV - why would you allow your ex to introduce your son to a woman with bad values? I think you have done the right thing.  

Answer 14

Crazy, no. Hurt and lashing out - possibly.

That your ex is a very active part of your son's life suggests that if you say 'no' then you are driving a wedge between your son and his step dad. Who do you want to hurt? Your ex or your son? Why should your son have to suffer because you and your ex no longer get along?

"This woman" as you call her is not the only one that made the situation. It takes two to tango and if your partner had been happy with you it would not have happened.

If you decide to deprive you son of contact with the man he sees as his father are you prepared for the consequences in his young life if you put your feelingings first?

Answer 15

Even if he was his biological father, you have every right to say no. You dont want you child to experience a bunch of people to run in and out of his life. So if you feels its best then it is. And if he cannot understand that then so be it!  

Answer 16

Thats a tough ??? But I would say this.. as long as  this man is a very active part in your  sons life  and that you two have moved on that Yes it would be ok to introduce this woman there a few good reasons

1.Beacuse he must love this other woman and want her to see what other parts of his life get Love also,if he truly loves your son he would want that out in the open,ever think mabey hes proud of your  son and want to show him off a little?

2 your son will have to learn that even though adults do not always stay together that they can still be freinds and act like adults... it really shouldnt bother you that much

3be the better woman.. This man has been there for YOUR son because he loves him Show that  other heffer what a good kid you have and allow her to see that you and HER man are still freinds... Thatll p**s her off

4kill them  with kindness as long as they are good to your boy and your son enjoys being with his "Daddy" then so be it

5 think of the best interest of your son.. is this man Good for him... and think of  the man who was there for your boy...imagine him having to tell her that you are not letting him have the boy so they can meet.. try not to strain his new realationship and he will do the same for you when another man  comes to sweep you off your feet

Any Good???

Answer 17

Oh, those "idiot's"!!  They sure do think they walk on water. First of all, why in the h**l would you want YOUR son, around a man whom you now know, is a morally bankrupt human being??  I WILL never let you move on or heal if you allow this. It will also show your son, that this is acceptable behaviour from both of them. Feel no guilt. You see him for what he is, and her,,,,, what a complete PIG!!!  It is her Karma, it sounds like they were made for each other. You do know what the right thing to do is..... and pain subsides,,, and when you look back, yu will feel such pride that you stood up for what is right, and taught your son, what a real man and woman should behave like. You CAN do this. Cut contact, otherwise, you wont move on. I don't believe he has any legal backing, especially do to an affair, and this w***e knew about this. Your life will be great if you are great to yourself!!

                              Here's to your future!!!

Answer 18

How old is your son?  Is he old enough to have any say?  

Depends how long ago all this was etc etc

Perhaps you need to just say that it is too soon for you to even think about this right now rather than be confrontational.  

Trying to look at it from your son's point of view.  If he regards this man as his Dad you will be punishing your son as much as your ex.  Would definitely say they can't take him to their home (if they have one) and only for a couple of hours if possible but only when you feel ready.

I was caught between my Dad, Stepmother and Mum and years and years later it still hurts so try and put him first.  Easier said than done I know.

Answer 19

I think it's time for you to end the friendship your ex-boyfriend and your son have till he's old enough to make his own decisions. Your ex is just using that as an excuse to keep you in his life and hopefully disrupt any opportunity for you to move on. If a few years go by and you have been able to move on and your ex still wants to be his friend then that will be your son's choice, but by letting him see your son you are sending the message that it is OK for a man to do to women what has been done to you. As for his new girlfriend she is totally crazy if she is OK with him seeing your son and absolutely clueless if she wants to meet him herself.  

Answer 20

Stick to your guns, your ex has no right to have your son around his pet s***k.

Answer 21

  I agree there is no legal obligation to let him be part of your son's life.  But, he IS.  He's still an active part of your son's life.   So, while you justifiably don't like this woman, what matters is your son.  Will he be hurt if you stop his step father from having a relationship?  If so, then you gotta live with the sleezy ******.  Not be friends, just tolerate her.  Your son is 12, and probably not stupid.  He isn't likely to decide it was wonderful for her to sleep with his step dad.

Answer 22

You have every right to say no. Good for you.

Answer 23

Even thought there are more than likely ill feelings towards this woman, if he is going to continue to be in your sons life as a step father, yes, he should meet this woman. You may cause the boy to lose the step father by choosing to not allow contact with his new girlfriend.

Answer 24

If he were the child's biological father, you'd have a tough legal battle to fight to prevent this. But since he's only the stepfather, albeit a very involved one, I think you can prevent this. What a slap in the face to you to have him want to introduce your son to the woman who caused the boy to lose his stepfather in his everyday life! Some men become so selfish they can only see what they want & have no real clue about the devastation they wreak on the lives of others. Be strong! Good luck!

Answer 25

if he ain't his real dad then you got every right to say no.

Answer 26

If it is your son then no. If it is his from a prev. relationship then it is up to him.

Answer 27

no ur not crazy ur just protective of ur son

Answer 28

I think it would depend on how long you two have been split up, how long he and this woman have been together, and if they are serious.  No way should he introduce her to your son if they are not serious, but if they are planning their wedding.. yeah, your son probably does need to spend some time with her (casually), if your ex will continue to be in his life.

Answer 29

after all this is the woman who destroyed your relationship, u owe this man nothing and the sooner u cut all ties with him the better.its most likely her idea and not his.

Answer 30

h**l no!! you aint crazy if my babies dad cheated on me i wouldnt let him see the kids people might disagre but at the end of the day when he cheated on you he cheated on your son to..there was a child involved and if he would have been honest with you it could have saved the heartacke than going bhind your back with another women..i wouldnt let the ***** any where near my child tell him to f*u*c*k off

Answer 31

not crazy, i would say No as well, if your son is under 15

if he is older i would let him (the son) decide