My ex has some sort of mental disorder (OCD, depression, adhd from what i already kno) y can't i get over him?

Question

i've been with my ex for about 2 years, and for the most part, it was horrible...he didnt treat me right, he cheated on me, he pushed me a few times, he'd break up with me every other week, then we'd get back together...we've been broken up for over a year and a half..but since then we've sort of "rekindled" our relationship. The most recent time we were sort of together was about 5 months ago...since then i have gotten a new boyfriend of whom i have been with for 4 months... he treats me like a princess, he's the kind of guy i said i always wanted, and now that i have him i still can't move on from my ex...my ex has gotten in trouble with the law, has experimented alot with drugs, and treated me like dirt. whereas i know he doesnt deserve me, i just can't bear the fact of us not caring for each other anymore..he's been on antidepressants and from what i know has some mental disorders..idk if that plays into me feeling "hooked" but i just want to find some answers..

Answer 1

Trust me, I know what your feeling- I was five when I met my boyfriend, and was just completely "in-love". Well the years went on, and once he hit about 17 he started getting in to drugs (I worked a lot- and he didn't, so I wasnt always there), accusing me of cheating on him and wanting to leave him, and started to get violent. He never really hit me, but he would throw things, destroy things- and one time in one of his rages almost hit me in the face with a metal chair, and once he realized it, started hitting.. Well, himself and everything else in his way.

His "love" for me became like a dangerous addiction, and at times was very scary.

Finnally after years of "being nice" and not really doing anything- I flipped. I said if he did ANY drugs, including drinking and pot, we were done. Any accusing oe of ANY THING, we were done. Any thing negitive, we were done. And any temper tantrums for ANY reasons- well, DONE.

Surprisingly, it worked. I felt crushed when I said it because I knew that we would break up, and I didn't know what I was going to do with myself. But some how, it worked and he chilled out, started wrking full time, and now seems very happy with our new life.

BUT- had I left him, which I was ready to, then I know it would have been hard to get over him. It's hard to get over your "first real love", and sometimes people never really do- they just simply learn to forget. I say have fun with your new guy, and do your best to stay away from and not think about your ex- or even talk to him at all for that matter. You will only hurt yourself.

Answer 2

you just feel bad because he is ill but you dont want to be his girlfriend, you just want to be there for him. you cant drag yourself down just because you feel bad for him.

Answer 3

you cant help who you love. it doesnt matter if he has issues, if you love him you just have to sort of train yourself id you dont want to be in that relationship.

Answer 4

Listen to me carefully.  Do not ever see your ex again...under no circumstances.  I was married to a person who had a mental disorder and I thought that I would not and could not go to h**l because I was already there.  A normal person cannot remain with a mentally ill person for very long and stay clear headed and normal. If you dropped the man you are with who loves you and treats you with kindness and understanding you will be making the biggest mistake of your life.  Forget the guy who gave you a taste of h**l and devote all of your time to the guy you now go with. You won't be sorry.  Incidentally, many women stay with men who beat and treat them badly because they are masochists and want to be treated this way.  I hope this doesn't apply to you.

Answer 5

Look into your past, how you grew up, and see what similarities there are between your parent's relationship with each other or you, and then between you and that boyfriend. Whatever you are getting out of the roller coaster with him, is what you learned growing up. But you don't need that.  You have better. And you deserve to be happy. So understand what you had with him was very unhealthy, and learn to appreciate this new guy. You don't want to lose him, if he's that great of a guy.  

Answer 6

You have some good answers here.  I just want to emphasize that there are many women in this world who get addicted to the drama of a bad relationship.  The rollercoaster, as Trapeze put it, is what you get used to.  Some women like to feel needed; they want to rescue the man, to be the rock in their lives.  Then they meet the perfect guy and he seems boring because he gives you foot massages and buys you flowers.  I hope you can find true love in all of this.