My ex husband plans on visiting me...I don't really know why?

Question

We have been apart for 10 months, officially divorced for 2. I didn't want the divorce and the past 10 months have been a rollercoaster of emotions. Well right after I left for the separation, I wanted him to come and visit me because I think I was still attached to him. And for months he said that he would think about it. Finally about two months ago he said that he couldnt take time off work and I took that as he didnt want to make time for me. So I just let it go. And by that time, I kinda let the marriage go because for so long I wanted us to work but I realize that sometimes things work out like this for the best. Well he calls me about two weeks ago and tells me that he bought plane tickets 2 see me and then he sent me an email talking about how he regrets telling me to move out and how he treated me the last few months we were together. And he said that he missed me and wanted to spend time with me when he comes and sees me. I do miss him and I will always have a piece of my heart for him, but I am not sure seeng him is a good idea. Ive finally been able to stand on my own. He says that he doesn't want me to think that we are getting back together when he comes and visits but he also said that he is scared to visit because he may fall in love with me again. And every day it is different. One day he says he is coming to see me and then next he is not because he thinks that things will be emotional. I think he is playing mind games. What do you guys think?

Answer 1

You already know what to do. You've done it before that's why he's an ex

Answer 2

I don't think he realizes he is playing mind games but you do so don't let him play you. Decide right now if you want something enough to play your chances with him.

He played you, he fooled you and he didn't deserve you. Summarize your feeling and end the relationship for good, there is no need to see him.  

Answer 3

Roller-coaster is right. YOU haven't let him go. Face it. He's charmed you, and you fall for it each time. Maybe he suddenly decided to come see you because his current squeeze sent him packing? And he's horny, and he knows he can charm his way in. . .again?

Or maybe he is genuinely confused. It sounds like you were both too young to make a lifetime commitment in the first place, and you're still looking. Be more careful this time; give it time to mellow before you commit. Give it time to age, like a good wine. Go slow. It might work, but later.

Answer 4

he is probably just looking for a booty call     or mabey he realizes he messed up    but I put my money on the booty call

Answer 5

Do not...repeat....DO NOT allow him to do this to you.  He is playing on your emotions and stringing you along.  I know that because my ex husband did it to me.  I allowed him to do it for so long before I finally said enough is enough.  After I said that, he kept trying to get back together with me (wanting what he now couldn't have).  He did this all through my dating, moving in with, becoming engaged to, marrying, and having a child with my husband.  He only recently went away when I told him no less than 10 times (after he tried to destroy my marriage by talking to my husband) to leave me alone and refused to answer his "just one question."  He called after all that, and I eventually had my husband tell him never to call me again.  I hope he does well in his life, and that he finds someone to be happy with, but I will not be in contact with him anymore.

For your own good, you need to move on.  I didn't want my divorce, either, but he did...and you can't just take it back whenever you get sick of the single life.  You are the same people who divorced before.  The two of you will never find happiness with another when you're keeping yourself bound to each other.

Answer 6

i would say meet him but don't have s*x or do anything phisical, it will just cause problems. treat him as a friend but that's about it.. if he is sincer than have him work for u

Answer 7

Everybody has regrets..I would go very slowly and do not rush anything!!  I would not visit with him at this time because too many emotions are involved...Good Luck!!

Answer 8

I think you do not understand the reality of the situation.

He is your EX!

Tell him to leave you the *$@! alone or you will be calling the cops.

Stop allowing him to abuse you!

Answer 9

dont let him come

Answer 10

Ask this question all night if you want but it is still a terrible idea and it really sounds like a loooong distance booty call.  If he is telling you he still does not want to get back together, why is he coming to see you?  This is still a terrible idea and if you do let him come you are just asking for all the heartache and pain that you are surely going to get, but if you want to keep asking I'll keep telling you the same thing.  The guy can't be trusted, he is looking to use you and you are better off going forward with your life instead of trying to swim back up stream.  You DO know what happens to salmon after they manage to do it.

Answer 11

He most defiantly is playing mind games. Tell him to stay put and leave you alone...