My ex want to put my unborn child up for adoption without my consent i was wondering if she can do this?

Question

My ex want to put my unborn child up for adoption without my consent i was wondering if she can do this?

Answer 1

It totally depends on your states laws, it differs from state to state. Check your laws and figure what your rights are..

and if you guys are willing to work together and be adult about the situation. Good Luck.

Answer 2

Yes, unless you can prove you are the father.  Get a lawyer.  (In most states, all she has to do as being unmarried is give the child her last name at birth or state she doesn't know who the father is.)

Answer 3

i have to agree, you are getting many conflicting views here.  the laws vary from state to state and country to county.  so i'd really seek some legal advice one this.

what i can say from my own experience is that my son's father was NEVER approached in the whole situation.  honestly, i really don't know if he knows 16 years later that i made an adoption plan (i later changed my mind, however).  

and grapesgum is 100% correct.  the agency will try to find ways to get around the father by having a pregnant woman say, 1) she doesn't know who the father is, 2) she is afraid of abuse so she's no longer in contact with him, 3) he wants nothing to do with the baby, and so on.

although there are a lot of guys out there who do not want to be involved, i totally support any father who wants to be there fighting for his rights to parent...

good luck.

Answer 4

Your ex can not put the child up for adoption without your consent.  I know this personally because I put my child up for adoption when I was 16 and the father had to consent to it.

Answer 5

As long as you don't demand to be recognized as the legal father, she probably can.  If you step forward and demand that the child be turned over to you instead, it's probably going to get into a court battle.  But she just can't give the child up without your rights also being taken into consideration.

Answer 6

Are you married and divorced/separated?

Was the child conceived while you were still legally husband and wife?

Can you prove that the child is yours?

Your "ex" could claim that the child was fathered by a third party.

If the child is born and she does not name you on the Birth Registration Certificate as the father of the child, I would think that your claim may be weakened.

If you are in the UK, you might like to think of having an appointment with the Citizens' Advice Bureau, unless someone answers your question who can actually cite the exact legal situation.

Answer 7

I always thought that in every state that as long as you are the father, there is no way that a woman can do this without you signing a relinquishment.

HOWEVER, THIS IS NOT THE CASE!  Please seek legal counsel.  Ghost Rider is 100% correct.  In some states, if you do not sign a putative father registry, you are out of luck without d**n good legal counsel.  Even with it, you are in for one h**l of a fight.  In some states, not signing the registry is as good as saying you don't claim any right to the child.  

Some mothers have been advised to leave the state and have the child elsewhere and give the child up.  If she doesn't name you on the birth certificate, this makes your case much, much more difficult.  She can also tell the adoption agency that she doesn't even know who the father is, thereby making it impossible for them to contact you.  She can also just take your child to a "safe haven" or "safe surrender" drop off, where you will never know what happened to your child.  

It is becoming more and more difficult for fathers to have rights to their children.  

Please, please, please, if you want any rights in this matter, find out about the putative father registry in your state, and SEEK LEGAL COUNSEL.  Just do a Google search and you will find fathers who are having a h**l of a time getting rights to their children who are being placed without their consent.  

Here are just a few stories where fathers have or are having great trouble after mothers have done this.

http://deseretnews.com/article/1,5143,69...

http://www.foxnews.com/printer_friendly_...

http://www.adopting.org/adoptions/biolog...

Answer 8

well i think you will have to seek expert advice for that but im sure if you want to keep the baby and can afford it and cope with it then you should be able to keep the baby.

Answer 9

With out you permission she can't do anything! BTW why she wanna do that ?if you can support the baby why then,tell her to give it to you if she don't wanna it.

Answer 10

if you are not married then you do not have alot of say in the matter. she can get the baby adopted if she wants, why dont you step in and take responsibilty and take the baby and bring it up alone, there are plenty single dads out there !! do what is right by your child.

Answer 11

make sure that u get ur name put on the babys birth certificate and then im sure that u automaticly have parential responsibilities and then im sure the only way is if u give consent to adoption,good luck im sorry this is happening to u.

Answer 12

Wow! There are a lot of conflicting answers.  Whether your ex can or cannot give up your child for adoption without your consent depends on the state (or country?) that you live in.  

In the US, some states don't consider you the legal father unless you're married to the mother at the time the child is born.  She can't even put your name on the birth certificate if your unmarried.  In other states, the mother can put the father's name on the birth certificate regardless of marital status.

Find out the laws in your state.  Petition the court for a DNA test to establish paternity and file a "notice of intent to claim paternity" with the court.  It's imperative that you let the court know as soon as possible that you intend to take responsibility for and wish to parent your child.  Be prepared to pay support.  

Find a good family law attorney. Hopefully one that has a free consultation.  Make an appointment & bring your questions in writing (so you don't forget anything).  

No matter what, do NOT tell the mom you're seeking legal advice. (She may feel threatened)  NEVER threaten her with taking the baby away.  Try talking to her; show her you care about her and her well being as well as the baby.  Even if you don't want to get back together or don't want to get married (don't make false promises, either), let her know that you support her (emotionally) and want to be there for her & the baby.  Also let her know that you want to be a father to this baby.  

US Information:

http://www.childwelfare.gov/systemwide/l...

Check state laws at this site:

http://www.childadoptionlaws.com/

Information about adoption and father's here:

http://www.adoptionservices.org/adoption...

http://adoption.about.com/cs/adoptionrig...

father's rights links

http://www.themenscenter.com/National/na...

Good luck!

Answer 13

get your name on babys birth cirtificate and she cant.. i doubt she can do that but see a solicitor for legal advice also social services too .

good luckl

Answer 14

yes she can shes carrying the baby but if you get custody of the baby then she cant obviously.

Answer 15

If it is indeed your child, then you have certain legal responsibilities here.  She cannot put the child up for adoption without your consent and without your relinquishing all parental rights to that child.  This requires legal action.  You should consult a lawyer.

Answer 16

NO NOT AT ALL SHE NEED YOUR CONSENT   BUT MOST DO CHANGE THERE MINDS IF YOU WANT YOUR CHILD GO CORT HUN  U DO HAVE RIGHTS

Answer 17

I would say yes. It depends on your gae though. My birth mother put me up for adoption without my birth fathers consent and he tried for custody but was too young. I'm really not sure about this.

Maybey you should go seek legal advice or somthing.

Good luck

Answer 18

NO.  The courts need to have both parents sign away parental rights.  The only way that a mother could do this is if the courts made ever possible effort to contact dad with not results.  Do not worry they will not allow that to happen.

Answer 19

No if you don't give up your child parents right she won't be aloud to I don't think. Go see a lawyer about it but I don't think she will be able to if you don't agree on it! But best of luck with that and I hope you come out on top. Because theres not many mens that want to take up that responsibility and I wish you the best of luck.

Answer 20

Everything depends on what state you live in.  If you are not married, you are expected to put your name in a special registry (for unmarried men....if any woman they slept with becomes pregnant, then and only then, do you have a leg to stand on).  If your name is not on this registry, whether you or the father or not, the court will disregard your claim of custody.  Unmarried fathers have no rights to their children in most states.  Many agencies and lawyers ship the pregnant mothers to adoption friendly states (if you are not on their state registry, just as screwed) so they can proceed with the adoption and s***w you over big time.  If you can, hire a d**n good lawyer.  So many good daddies have gotten completely screwed by the adoption industry.  I hope the best for you in what might end up being a long and torturous journey.  I hope you get this baby and nail the two timing broad for every cent she has in child support.  Women who disregard the father's wishes make me absolutely sick.

Answer 21

First things first i would consult some legal opinion. Are you willing to take the child in and look after it yourself? Have you the means of providing financial support? Have you a home that you can take baby to live in? These are some of the questions you will be asked to see if you are able to look after your baby. Have you tried talking to the mother and saying you would be happy to raise it? As for doing it without your consent i think that depends on where you live, etc. Is she planning on putting you on the birth certificate? consult legal aid now so if necessary DNA tests c an be taken after birth to prove if it is yours (if she denies that it is) Good luck

Answer 22

Yes...unless you petition for custody of the child.

Answer 23

Was she your exwife or exgirlfreind? It really depends on the state you live in, I know in Arkansas if the birth mom is not married then she dont have to contact the dad, but in Oklahoma the dad does have to be contacted. I think you should contact a lawyer fast and see what your states law is on this. Hope this might help and hope everything works out for you!

Answer 24

i dont think so..unless she declares you're dead or cannot be found. it is the first rule to ask the consent of both parents. you can ask the court to grant you custody of the child

Answer 25

Ask your wife can your family look after it. And she can be called auntie

Answer 26

No both parents have to agree

Answer 27

Yes she can. What you need to do is File with the state a claim of paternity. You can find the place you need to write on the internet look under your state and call them and they will send you out the papers. Depending what state you live in how long you have some states are even before the baby is born..

   Keep in contact with her because some adoption agency will send her out of state to have the child and you have to file there to.

  Help support her and your future child for even if she won't take it you can be termated of your rights if you don't. If like in my son's case hids where she is get proof of looking for her.

   Some adoption agencys will call you or find you don't always count on this. In my son's case they never talked until court. Also look in our paper because most adoption agencys will use that.

Get a lawyer fast. Ask for DNA( even if you are sure the child is yours) for this is the only way you can prove the childis yours. When the child is going to be born (Go to the hospital even if everyone says you will go to jail or be hurt) I stoped my son from doing this for fear of being attacked by his ex's new boyfriend. I feel bad now because the next time he saw his son was 16 months latter.

   This is a big responceablety so make sure you want to raise the child without the mother. I remember we talked to our son and told him that we would help him but he would be raising his child single. That means diapers, feeding, clothes ect. (but he already has a daughter from the same mother. She is 4 now and he took care of her and now even though the courts gave her to her mother he has her as much or more as the mother. But he's happy. While raising this child Do Not Talk Bad About the Mother does no good but will harm your child.

You need to get on this fast for if you look on the internet you will see more than my son's case trying to get their children back. It;s been along 2 1/2 years and the heart break and expense my son has gone through is about as bad as walking through h**l. The only joy I see is when he gets to see his son once a month (until the appeal the adoption agency hid his son for so long to use best interest and it worked) He is appealing.

Better start now for I bet the adoptionagency have already to. If they cont to go ahead and you can't stop them. Then show you lawyer my son's case where the adoption agency had to pay his legal expence in court. E-mail me if you want [e-mail]. I will be praying for you

Answer 28

Yes.   She can say "Unknown" on the birth certificate and adoption paperwork.  All she has to do is say she doesn't know who the father is.

Talk to a lawyer.

Answer 29

She cant. They need both parents consent. Also you can claim child support out of her whilst your at it to s***w the ***** for even wanting to do such a horrible thing and make it so she cant change her mind aka never see the child till the child's 18.

With todays technology they can not say that they cant find you when they can just go to a bank with the legal documents saying there allowed the information (data protection act) and your latest transactions will be stated probably proving you are not dead and also able to get your address.

From there make sure if she wants her rights she pays if not then you make sure her rights have been signed over.

I wish you all the luck in this.

Answer 30

Im positive but please dont quote me on it that she will need your consent to have the baby adopted,if your ex  dosnt want to keep her child why dosnt she give you full custody-im presuming you would love too.I think you need a solicitor to help you out on this one.All the best and i hop it works out the way you want it too

Answer 31

Hello,

(ANS) To answer this issue, the closest legal case or closest similar example  involved a womans frozen eggs i.e. potential life not an actual unborn child. But I believe the core issue here remains the same, its a question of consent or conflict over consent. Its also a moral or ethical question too and different people may have differing moral view points on this matter.

**In the recent case the mother of the potential child wanted to use her eggs & the partners sperm to make a new baby but the man (male) didn't want a child. The case was so conflicted & the arguments so bitter that it ended up in a court of law, the judge ruled in favor of the man (the right to choose NOT to become a father against his will).

**As it takes x2 people to create new life then the man also has a legal choice if he doesn't agree that its what he wants. Both people have to agree on what they want or reach an acceptable agreement or it cannot happen. Although UK law may well take a different point of view from the case quoted above which took place in the US.

Ivan