My ex wants to be friends, but I don't think I can?

Question

4 wks ago me and my loved one broke up, well actually he broke up with me for some idiotic reason. It broke my heart, dearly, and shattered me. He said that we could be friends and try to fix things and see if we could be together again but we were done...

but only days after this i see him flirting with all these other girls, and just plain out breaking my heart. So i ask him if he has interest in these ladies he calls "baby, sweety, and all this" and he denies that he is likes them or whatever. But i know hes lying to me, i just dont no why he lies, because we're done but whatever. And he keeps accusing me of getting jealous which i am, and i telling me that I think he left me for these chicks but i have not even said anything like that....

Im not sure what i should do, i try to ignore him but he works with me and calls me all the time but i dont answer or i dont talk much on the phone, so he calls me from restricted numbers, or text me, he even asks my co-workers about when i am not at work and talks to me at work like everything is fine when its not.... I cannot tolerate this "friendship" / being "buddies" as he says when i love him so much...

What should i do, is it possible the reason he wont leave me alone is because he may still like me, i just need some advice? Should i just ignore him, even though it hurts so much.

Answer 1

You can't be "just friends" with a an ex boyfriend.  I went through a similar thing for 18 months.  You are doing the right thing by not communicating with him (believe me here). He is a loser who did not know a good thing when he saw it.

In my case my ex bf is menally screwed up because he had an unloving mother.  Too bad for him, but I can't change that.

Answer 2

From years of experience with pesky exes who keep popping up trying to "be friends," my best advice to you would be to ignore him completely. Remember, there's a reason why he is now your ex! Calling you from other numbers, etc is pathetic... you probably need to tell him clearly to stop calling you. If he doesn't stop, change your number. You may even have to consider finding a new job to get him out of your life completely. It is unhealthy to allow someone like that any of your time or energy.

It sounds like your ex is an immature selfish jerk who is toying with your emotions. He knows you are hurt and still care about him, but won't leave you alone long enough to get over him. Basically, he wants to keep you hanging on to him while he fools around with other girls... that way, when he is done playing, he can still come back to a good girlfriend. Don't give him that! He doesn't deserve it after his behavior, and you DEFINITELY deserve someone better.

It hurts now, but be strong, lean on your REAL friends, and in no time you'll feel relieved that you are free from him.  

Answer 3

It's impossible and unreasonable to be "just friends" right after a breakup.  The end of every relationship requires a natural healing and adjustment period.  There will always be some lingering romantic feelings, and you need time to deal with those, or your "friendship" is just a sham.

Tell him that you need some time to adjust to not being a couple any more, and that you can't be friends with him until that adjustment is complete.  Tell him that if he really cares about you as a friendship, he will respect your request and not contact you anymore.  Assure him that YOU will contact him in a few months if and when you are ready to rebuild your friendship.  Tell him that he is only allowed to contact you if he is committed to renewing the romantic relationship - not just because he's lonely or wants a booty call or misses you.  

Then ignore him and move on with your life.  Focus on developing yourself and new relationships.  Heal yourself.  Then, when it no longer hurts to think about him, consider slowly renewing the friendship.