My exchange student arrives this week, and I'm nervous. Last minute advice?

Question

Hi. I'm going to be a host "mom" for the first time this year. Our girl arrives in a few days. We've completed every possible preparation and are very excited. I've gotten to know the girl through email and like her a great deal.

But I'm doing what women do and having anxiety, lol. I think this is especially because we don't have kids and I want to make sure I do the best job possible with the parenting.

Any last minute tips or advice for a first time host?

I'd greatly appreciate any words of wisdom. Thanks!

Answer 1

Take into consideration things that she many not typically do where she comes from so that she experiences new things, but also at the same time don't plan too far ahead because you don't want to have a lot of things planned out only to find out that she is not interested or bored.  Take her to some "attractions" near you but find out what she's interested in and plan with her.  We had some exchange students in school before and they obviously enjoyed coming up with things to do most of the time rather than being told what to do all the time.

Answer 2

I was an exchange student a few years back, so I have some suggestions.  First of all, most students are coming from far away, and they may have to deal with jet lag or at the very least a long plane flight.  Expect your student to be very tired when she arrives, and don't plan to do any big activities on the first day she is there.  If possible, you and your husband should both go to the airport to pick her up, so she can meet both of you at the same time.  Because she will be tired when she arrives (and I'm assuming she is not a native English speaker), she will most likely be very quiet.  This is totally normal!  Depending on her level of English, she may be very quiet for a few weeks, as she gets more comfortable with speaking English.  Exchange students often say that the first few weeks are just exhausting, because their brains are working overtime to process the new language and culture.

Encourage your exchange student to call or send her parents an e-mail to let them know that she got to your home okay, and after that don't encourage her to have frequent contact with home.  It may seem strange, but it is very hard to acclimate to a new culture and family if you are still mentally at home.  Our exchange organization recommended that we not talk to our parents back home for a couple of months, and after that to keep contact minimal.  I found it helpful not to talk to my parents very often because I tended to get emotional, and homesickness was much worse after I talked to them.

Make sure you have your student's room set up and that she has a dresser and closet, or similar place to put her clothes.  As much as possible, try to keep the room decorations (framed pictures, figurines, etc.) to a minimum so she can decorate the room as she wants.  It can be very helpful to be able to put your own photos on the walls and to have a space that feels like your own.

Another thing you can plan on doing with your exchange student is show her around your neighborhood or city so she becomes familiar with the area.  If there are public buses where you live, make sure she knows how to use them.  If you have an extra bike, let her know that she can use the bike to get around if she wants to.  It can be tough being an exchange students in the US because students aren't allowed to drive, and oftentimes have to depend on their host family for rides.  That can lead to students feeling isolated.  Try to help her be somewhat independent, whether that means riding a bike, walking or taking a bus somewhere.  At the very least, take a walk around your neighborhood so she's familiar with her surroundings.

Let your student know that there will be house rules, and talk to her about them soon after she arrives, after she's settled in.  She most likely will have had different rules at home, and it's important that she know what your expectations are in terms of curfew, chores, cleanliness (such as her room), safety, etc.  Encourage her to invite her new friends from school to your house, and get to know them.  The easiest way for her to learn English is to make friends who speak only English.

Plan on taking short or maybe longer trips so she can see more of the country.  Depending on how much time and money you have to work with, you could take her to a state or national park, or show her local attractions, or drive to another city and show her around.

You will be a great host parent.  The best host parents are the ones who are really excited about what they're doing.  Don't worry -- I'm sure everything will work out great.  :)

Wow, it looks like I wrote a book!  Feel free to send me a message if you have any questions!

Answer 3

I thought of being a host and I talked to a mom who had done it twice. Her main advise was get the house rules set first. Write them down and both of you sign them. Can she be out late on school nights, how about the weekend. She should have a curfew (what is your towns laws on teens curfews) Is she expected to do dishes or take out the trash, walk the dog. She should have chores, like any teen does.

Can she have new friends over? I think having her invite a friend over ASAP would be good for her.

After she is settle and caught up on sleep I would take her grocery shopping.

Can you imagine the anxiety she is having. Try to be calm and cheerful so she feels at ease.