My family is hurting can anybody help please?

Question

i am a mother of 3 i would like to talk about my son he is 9 years when he was 3 the dr. said he had adhd when he was 5 i put him in preschool after a couple of months the school said he was not to come back without medication at that time he started on adderall. in 2007 his diagnosis was bipolar disorder he has been on so many meds. he makes very bad choices. in 2005 he took a knife to school and said to another kid that he was going to cut the teachers throat. he has set fire to things. he does not have any friends. he acts alot worse when he is around others school & home. he was tested in april. his age-based scores from age 4 to 17 years old. in telling the truth i have made it sound like he is a monster. please dont think this. when he is 1 on 1 he is a perfect angel. my son is crying out and i dont know how to help him. i am really pulling my hair out! is anyone experiencing these kind of behaviors with their children? if so please help my family

Answer 1

I feel for you - my daughter has a mental disorder and we just got her straightened around with her medication after a stay in a children's mental hospital. The hardest thing in these situations is getting a proper diagnosis and the right medication at the right dose. This type of thing can be very frustrating and scary. The best advice I can give you is to keep trying until you get an answer that you are comfortable with. I am assuming he is seeing a psychiatrist, don't be afraid to get a second and even a third opinion. He should be in counseling on a regular basis too if he's not already. Honestly - the things you are describing sound like borderline personality disorder. If there is a children's mental health hospital in your area I would call there, tell them your concerns, they might have an outpatient program that could be helpful. There is hope - my daughter is finally properly diagnosed and properly medicated and doing excellent - just keep persevering until you get some answers.

Just remember to be patient with him - I know it's difficult but he isn't doing this on purpose, he needs help.

Answer 2

You need to get in some support groups and get him some special education.  Contact the councilor at his school.  If that doesn't get you anywhere, ask his doctor for a referral to a psychologist who can help get your family some support.  If you want to do right by your son, medication is not the only fix.  He needs to learn how to function in this world with his brain.  That takes a professional and a whole lot of patients.  Unfortunate; nobody is going to go out and get it for you.  Make the calls, go out into the world and don't give up until you get him the help he needs.

Answer 3

An extremely controlled anti- aggressive environment is a good start. Make a pack to NEVER raise your voice (your husband has to agree to this to fullest extent). Your child needs to be in a completely calm environment where he can lead by example. This will be so hard , at first- like you wouldn't believe. My daughter has anxiety and we had to completely re-wire ourselves. We can't talk loudly (always keep an even tone), no eye rolling, nothing aggressive. When bad behavior arises- you must approach it in a calm level manner and very matter fact and always follow through. When he throws a fit, gets cranky- keep your cool like you wouldn't believe. This will make a tremendous difference.

He might need counseling. Talk to his pediatrician about finding a good fit for him. Fill is after school time and summer time with activities he loves and plenty of "family" time.

Answer 4

I lived with my older sister for 27 years.  Her daughter had the same problem as your son.  She was also diagnosed having adhd at 4, and she was confirmed bipolar since 14. She is now in her thirties, with a family of her own.  Only now is she starting to be responsible. She is still a bipolar but her husband is very supportive and understanding...  Your son is no monster.  He is an angel who yearns for our special attention, love, care and understanding.  You should take advantage of enriching his talents, by redirecting his attetion to constructive activities.  Art is one discipline he will enjoy without exhausting his imagination.  His aggression can be subdued when he could burn his energies in sports or in any physical activities like gardening or taking care of pets. You can talk to him regarding his personality without offending him by storytelling.  Kid's bible is one solid reference which you  could use to integrate values into your stories. Let him grow  up in God's love. During aggression, assurance and a loving hug always do the trick.  Try to explain why he was wrong. Refrain from instilling too much guity feelings so he will not develop aggression towards himself.  No shouting and no nagging, he might not get your message right.  Give credits for good deeds to encourage him to do what is right.  Anger and disappointments must never have a place in your heart.   Accept him for what he is and he will keep you as his best friend.  In frienship, everything is unconditional.    It could be a long and tedious process to teach him to be like us.  It could be a lifetime endeavour.  Trust God and give thanks all the time...  Your son is an angel in disguise.

Answer 5

You need to get him to a good doctor and a good psychologist or psychiatrist.  You also need therapy for yourself and your other family members.  Don't wait, Get your doctor to help you find these specialists right away.

Answer 6

i am not a mother and i can't imagine the hurt you're going through. i think you should consult a doctor for your kid. it sounds discriminating but your child is not fit for 'normal' schooling because he has special needs and teachers who can understand his situation. i am sure there are such schools in your place.

don't despair. there are many people fit to help you and your kid with his needs. you just need to look for them. goodluck!

Answer 7

First, if your child truly needs medication, then obviously he should have it. That said, I don't know about preschool, but public schools cannot require that a child be on medication as a prerequisite to attending school. Does your son have an IEP in place? If not, you need to get the ball rolling on that. If he does, it needs to be reviewed. It seems to me that your child is frustrated and acting out. Try talking to him and see if you can find out what's going on.