My family is so weak and stupid. What am I supposed to do?

Question

First of all I'm 17. My parents are having some financial trouble right now and can't afford to pay much. Well my whiny 22 year old sister just came home a little while ago. Me and my mom were going to go to the store and my sister pissed and moaned how she doesn't buy her any food and how she has to starve. She acts overdramatic and just sounds like a friggen idiot. She has a job and she's suppsed to save her money, but instead she spends it on cellphone bills and other c**p she doesn't need. She wanted my mom to buy her something and all my mom said was that she probably wouldn't be able to afford it. And so the whining starts. All my sister had to do was give 10 dollars and it would be that simple. My mom gets treated like c**p by everyone in my house, even me sometimes, though I do apologize when I do. I don't really feel bad for my mom because she enables everyone to do it. She could have just told my sister to suffer and eat bread or something. But no she had to give up whatever she was going to buy to give in to her selfish wishes. I really can't stand my family. I try to help my mom but she's simply too weak to listen. I talk to her sometimes and she gets into how nobody respects her. Well I tell her that it's because she doesn't demand respect. She doesn't even hear a word I say and continues to complain. Even my idiot dad who drinks and has actually physically attacked her. He's yelling at her for not bringing in any money when in reality, it's his stupid buisness that's going downhill. He's a prick. Being the youngest in my family, I really can't go up against anybody. I'm a bundle full of nerves living here. Thank God for the internet or else I would have killed myself a long time ago. So what should I do? By the way I'd rather not hear that I'm probably wrong about my family because it's extremely annoying hearing that. I know my family better than any of you would because I live with them and observe their situations every single day. I know them, I know they can't be helped so I just don't want to bother.

Answer 1

Well with that last sentence it makes me wonder why you even are asking for help.

But i'll give advice anyway. I would tell me sister to shut up and save her money. And then i would try to convince my mom to stop enabling family members to walk all over her.

then if your father is physically abusive, i would tell the police honestly. If it's that bad and you can't handle it on your own then you need professional help because I'm just saying what i would do in your situation.

Answer 2

There's nothing worse then living with people who don't know how to listen - I've been there. There is little  you can do unless you can find the means to support yourself and move out.  Try talking to someone older who you trust like a church member - confide in them and maybe they can take you out of the situation; even if it's for a little while; it may help your family see how serious you are. You could also ring helplines - check magazines, yellow pages or your library.

Good luck & God bless.

Answer 3

I think that you have tried to give your opinion and help to your mom and she knows how you feel (based on what you wrote). You cant make her see it. She has to want to see it. She has to want better for herself and know that she is worth it.  

Her daughter (your sister) is taking advantage of her and like you said, your mom enables her. You cant do anything but control you and how you react.

Now, you did mention that you do treat your mom badly at times. Well that's the first thing you can change. Your sister's or your dad's bad behavior does not justify your bad behavior. Be the one that's different. Be the one that recognizes weakness and dysfunction and change it for yourself and future generations.

One thing for you to think about. Your mom is human. She is going to make mistakes. She thinks she is doing good by putting herself last. Try not to look at her in such a bad light. Just try to do your best to be different from your sister and remind her that she deserves to treat herself.

Answer 4

Your family really needs some help, but I'm

sure you know this you sound like a smart kid. Your sister needs to pull her wait around the house and to give some rent or at least buy some grocery's, can you find a part time job to help out? Talk to you mom again about the things that are bothering you, I hope she listens to you. Don't do anything that will hurt yourself , I know things seem pretty helpless right now but it would hurt your mom more, you know and why do that? You seem to be the only family member she can count on. It doesn't seem like it now but things will turn around for you I hope.Do you have friends you can talk to? Friends you can trust? Good Luck and God bless.