My father's a liar..what to do?

Question

My father has never said a word about it but he's a smoker. He hides his stash (I know where it is) and I've been told by various sources that he's been spotted smoking at a usual haunt.

He's lied when I've asked him about it and it's obvious because he and his car smell like smoke (in addition, i've got those eye witnesses)..

He's getting old and has borderline type-2 diabetes. He's lied about checking his blood regularly -he's supposed to but doesn't and I never see him take his medicine that he supposedly take daily. He doesn't exercise and my family is too reserved to allow me the right to call him out on his bullshit no matter how much I disapprove of it. It would be considered very presumptuous and mildly arrogant but I refuse to be passive about this self-deprecation.

My question is - what the h**l do I do? My sisters and I have briefly talked about an intervention but I want to try to avoid such a possibly hostile situation although I'm not completely averse to it should the need arise.

I'm not asking anyone to tell me that he's a grown adult and he can make his own choices and bullshit like that. He doesn't know how to take care of himself, end of discussion. I want help, not criticism, thanks.

Answer 1

lightly let him know how it makes you feel when he lies, and that you care about him a lot and do not want to loose him from lung Cancer, or from not taking his medications.

good luck

Answer 2

just quietly tell him when he is lying in that hospital bed from not taking care of himself, you won't visit. and if need be, he will be put in a nursing home. Maybe that will get him to listen but I doubt it. Sorry, but he's going to do whatever he wants no matter how much you don't like it. It sucks because you love him and want him to be around but he has to want to change himself before he will do it.

Answer 3

He's addicted and can't stop without help.  Addicts will do anything they can to keep themselves from the spotlight and hide their addictions.  He needs family (like you) to step up and tell him how much it hurts you to see him do this to himself.  It would be great if you could get your whole family to work together to help him.  I think an intervention is necessary.

Answer 4

Well, for one, I'm not going to criticize you. What's your father's state of mind? If he's capable of making his own decisions, that's what he's going to do. Maybe it's your approach. Have you done the bit about letting him know how much you love him and how afraid you are that he's causing himself to be taken from you too soon? I don't mean yelling and screaming at him way of showing him. Sometimes badgering a person will cause them to be defiant; and don't say anything about when a person knows you are investigating and questioning them about their activities, especially when they know you already know. Believe me he knows that you know he's lying.I hope you at least get him to take his medication, and check his blood. Along with the love conversation let him know that if he doesn't, the day is coming soon that he's going to get sick and you two will have to do it for him because he might not be able to do it himself.

Answer 5

Lol Hes Very Irresponsible ... O_O But I Dunno.. Do They Have Rehab For Cigarette Smokers ??

Answer 6

my step dad has smoked for years and both my mother and my step father are liars