My father died and I dont know what to do...???

Question

Ok, my dad died yesterday, and since my parents are divorced I had to go to another state for his funeral. I'm in a boarding school, and my mother called the Principal and told him my dad had died, and the Principal announced it in the assembly! I'm really embarassed by this because everyone will give me sympathetic stares and ask questions which I don't want to answer. I was planning on telling just my closest friends but now everyone knows. So what do I do? And now, if I laugh or smile, everyone (except my friends) will think I'm a cold-hearted b***h, because that's how they think in my school. And one of my exs, he called on my cell and said he wanted to talk about this in school tomorrow!

WHAT DO I DO?

Answer 1

Wow, sorry for your lost. I'm sure the people won't be that cruel, if they are try not to pay attention to them. About your ex that's gonna be interesting. He probably just wants to help you through a tough time.

Answer 2

you will just have to deal with it as it cant be undone, but i'd talk to the principal and make a complaint for future records so they dont do this sort of thing again

Answer 3

Death is a difficult situation no matter what the circumstance. But be yourself. Let others think what they will. They will find something else to talk about it a few days. People that shallow never dwell on anything long. Plus you and your friends know how you feel.

It was very callous that the pricipal announced at an assembly. I should think that being in his/her position they should have a little more tact. But there is no accounting for stupidity. It is everywhere. Albert Einstien once said that he knew of only two things that were infinite. Stupidity and the universe. The only one that he wasn't sure of was the universe. So even Einstien realized that human stupidity can be infinit. Most is just lack of education.

If anyone says anything ugly just remind them that until they go thru it they can not possibly know how they would react or feel. People can be very stupid and cruel. But you have remain above the shallow end of the pool. All through life. Just remember those that anger you and make you feel bad control you. Don't allow that. Be the writer of your own life and destiny. You are the only one that knows how you really feel inside. Hold your head high and a smile darkens even the worse days.  

Answer 4

there is no right or wrong answer. everyone grieves differently. Live your life and deal with it how you deem appropriate

Answer 5

Well you need to deal with this to the best of your ability, it is normal for people to sympatise with you, so when people sympatise with you just say thank you or something, im not sure weather you where close to your dad or not.  everyone deals with happiness and sadness differently, and you are welcom to laugh,smile,cry, scream all you want ok, you entitled to it and stop worrying what everyone else will think about, dont live your life worrying. . .  

Answer 6

just think hes in a better place. and if you do start laughing. just say. he wouldnt want me to cry. im sorry for your loss

Answer 7

dont feel like you have to  have a pemenant frown on your face for a year, when my father died we had a small get together and talked about his life and accomplishments. As far as your ex goes, dont talk about anything if it's gonna make you sad . I dont hink your father would mind if you smiled .

Answer 8

That really sucks that your principal did that to you. Death is very personal and everyone handles it differently. My dad died 2 years ago, and like you, I hated the looks and answering questions. I just didn't want to talk about it except with people I'm close to. My suggestion is that when people you don't want to talk to ask about it, just thank them for asking and tell them that it's painful to talk about and you'd prefer not to. Most people will drop it then. As for laughing or smiling, that's normal. You shouldn't be sad 24/7. Your dad wouldn't want that, I'm sure. You are still alive, and need to go about the business of living. It's very hard to lose a parent, especially as young as you are, but still, we go on. We don't have a choice. There may be some people at your school that have never experienced death, but I would think that a lot of them have. Not their parents, but grand or great grand parents, and they will know that even when you're grieving, you are not in a depressed funk on a constant. As far as the catty ones, it's hard, but you'll just have to ignore their ignorance! Good luck, I know it's a tough time for you. Just allow yourself to feel what you feel, own all your grief, and know that as time passes, it will get easier.  

Answer 9

tell him Can you please just not talk about it. its hard anough.