Question:

My father is getting married, and he didn't even tell me, what should I do?

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My father and mother split years ago. My mother is Puerto Rican, so I am half Hispanic. Father moved to another State, came to me every summer and winter, stayed at a hotel, and we spend time together. He never invited me to his place, he said it was a one bedroom apartment and it was all "unsettled". He met me at the airport, and it appeared that he moved into a house and never told me on the phone. At the house I was met by a blonde woman, a blond boy of about 18, and a blonde girl of about my age. Father said it was his fiancee Lydia and her children! And that they were getting married! Lydia served home-made food, table was served with multiple forks, like in a restaurant! They joined hands and said grace before dinner. Father never said grace with us, he refused to do it, when he left my mother and I started doing it again. He never said to these blond children that I was half Hispanic, and they stared at me like I was something from the Zoo! Instead of going to play tennis with me, he dragged me to see Paul (Lydia's son) playing soccer league, and people took Paul for his real son, and congratulated him, and said that they were alike! Lydia is planning an elaborate wedding, she is constantly on the phone, talking about miniature soufflés, tuberose and magnolia blossoms. They feel like a family, and I like an outsider, while they are busy planning and partying I sit in my room, which looks like a guest room straight out of a Holiday Inn. What should I do?

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  1. Watch "Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants", the original one. One of the girls has a similar experience and she decides to support her father because he is her father.

    About not telling you that he was starting a new family, you need to go out with him, (breakfast or lunch) and just him, and discuss the feelings you have that he did not tell you of his "new" life. You need to be honest but open-minded about the reasons that he gives you. He is your father and although he

    "lied" to you about his new life, he remains YOUR father and nothing can change that. I would guess that you did some things in your youth that he was not happy with but it seems like he has forgiven you. You must let him know how you feel but ultimately forgive him.

    Good luck.


  2. Haha. I don't get this. It is from the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants! Talk to your father, tell him how you feel, and whatever you do don't throw a rock in the window!

  3. Wow sweetie I feel so bad for you!  First things first, I would call your mom and fill her in.  Don't worry about what all of us have to say on here.  She knows your dad and may be able to help you out, and will definitely be able to comfort you.  Then, if she thinks it's a good idea, I would confront your dad.  Ask him why he never told you about this new relationship.  Adults that keep new boyfriends / girlfriends from their family usually have something to hide, some reason they don't won't their family to know.  Probably because they wouldn't approve of that person.  I wonder if he told her and her kids about you.  Or did he just come home one day and was like, oh by the way this is my daughter.  That was a horrible thing to do.  Keep your head up.  Just know this - adults can be really stupid sometimes.  Don't think what he did had anything to do with you because it didn't.  It had everything to do with him being stupid.  

  4. I think you may have posted in the wrong area.  Try reposting in Family.  Good luck.

  5. shut up.

    then throw urself off the sears tower.

  6. it sounds like he's trying to make effort to make you part of his new family  just try you might like your new step brothers and sister

  7. Okay, Okay, I get it, Sisterhood of the traveling Pants, right? Just a tip, don't throw rocks!

  8. Dad has found something that he loves.  A man is unlikely to take on a new wife and 2 children to spite you.  At what point did you want him to tell you about his love life? First date? etc.

    You are hurt as are many children from first marriages. Don't look for reasons to hate.  

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