My favorite teacher just had a miscarriage, and I want to write her a note or card. What should I say?

Question

We are really close, like she is young and one of my friends almost. It was her first child and she was VERY excited. She had even picked out the names for it.

Answer 1

awww..i am sorry for your teachers loss.that is very hard to go through.I know,i had one myself a long time ago.theres really not much you can say.just let  her now you are there for her if she needs you.or if you really feel you want to send her a card just say what comes from your heart.Good luck!

Answer 2

I don't think a card is the best thing. I would just let her grieve with her husband. You can offer her a hug and your condolences, but I wouldn't go further then that.

My very best friend had a miscarriage after almost a year of trying to get pregnant. She said the best thing I could of done was just listen to her and don't bring it up.

Answer 3

I am not sure sending a card it the best idea. Most people just don't want to talk about it. But if you really want to say something just tell her you are sorry and that you care about her! It is just such a private and painful thing that it is hard to talk about and deal with!

You are sweet to care so much about her!

Answer 4

I dont think giving her a card is a good idea, it's really hard to go trough that so just let her deal with this with her husband/family.

Answer 5

I also don't agree that you shouldn't do a card. I think a card would be a wonderful idea. I loved every card I got when we lost our baby at 20 weeks.

All of my friends got together and made a donnation to the March of Dimes in memory of the baby. I didn't know they were going to do that and I got a nice note in the mail from the March of Dimes saying that a donnation had been made in the memory of Baby Smith. It was so thoughtful and nice. Maybe that would be a good plan.

Answer 6

If they are having a memorial service then you can just send a sympathy card and/or flowers. I wouldn't mention it to her. Or if she's the type that doesn't mind (you'd really have to know her) Just send a plain sympathy card saying something like "I'm sorry for your loss" Pick one up at Hallmark that's already wrote. Just be there for support if she wants it.

Answer 7

I agree with the others, it would be best not to send a card or note...it is enough for her to deal with and she would probably like some privacy and to be alone with her husband because really, he is the person who would understand the loss the most.

Next time you see her (when she comes back to school or if you run into her at the mall or something), don't say, "Hey, I'm so sorry about the miscarriage"...of course.  If you want to say anything, just smile and if you want, you can give her a hug and just ask how she is doing. Hopefully she will say she is okay, and say that you're glad to hear that and it was nice to see her again. Don't mention anything about the pregnancy or the miscarriage, as it will just upset her more and she's probably trying her best to get over it and grieve right now.

Answer 8

I personally don't agree with those who said that a card isn't a good idea - I lost my first child at two weeks of age, and although it was an awful time in my life, every time I got a card or a note of sympathy, or a phone call, I was reminded that I had friends who loved and supported me, and it reminded me that life really does go on and I would eventually feel better.

I would simply say that you're very, very sorry, you love her very much, and you're always there for her.

You could also bring a few meals to her - trust me, she does NOT feel like cooking right now, but she needs to eat.

I don't know how religious you or she is, but I was given a poem that I absolutely loved - I don't have it with me now, but I'll look around at home or online and see if I can find it, and I'll edit my answer if I do.

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Ok I found it:  "Life's Weaving", author unknown:

Life's Weaving

Life is but a weaving

between my God and me;

I may not choose the colors,

He knows what they should be.

For He can view the pattern

Upon the upper side,

While I can see it only

On this, the under side.

Sometimes He weaveth sorrow,

Which seemeth strange to me;

But I will trust His judgment,

And work on faithfully.

'Tis He who fills the shuttle,

He knows just what is best;

So I shall weave in earnest

And leave with Him the rest.

At last, when life is ended,

With Him I shall abide,

And I may view the pattern

Upon the upper side,

Then I shall know the reason

Why pain with joy entwined,

Was woven in the fabric

Of life that God designed.

I don't know why, but this poem gave me a lot of comfort during that time.

Answer 9

A card saying thinking of her and keep it light . Just let her know you are there if she needs anything. Anything she gets will reinforce love and she needs lots of that now. She will have to go thru a grieving stage and just understand she may pull back alil . Depending on person. My good friend had a miscarriage and we had to give her some space. A card is fine. Then when she wants to get together. She will. We gave our friend space to grieve with her family and hubby. When spring came we saw them at our chruch picnic and prayed for her cause she was pregnant again and we saw her have a beautiful baby girl.