My feelings are a little bit hurt....?

Question

Okay, this may be silly for me to have hurt feelings, but here's the situation. I'm pregnant with a little girl who is due in October. DS is almost three. I know that typically people don't have baby showers for second babies, and I certainly don't expect people to get me any gifts.

However, I kind of thought my MIL would get us a gift. This is the third grandchild, first grand-daughter. She has desperately wanted a grand-daughter because she has had only sons & grandsons. But so far... she hasn't gotten this baby girl a little outfit or doll or binky or anything. Nothing.

Like I said, I don't think anyone should be obligated to get us gifts, I'm just disappointed she hasn't shown more excitement. I guess I just needed a place to vent....

Answer 1

well this is my baby's fathers parents 1st grandchild and they have helped with nothing not even asked how i am.but my situation is different cos the father has left me so where not 2gether.I don't no maybe sometimes they don't realist how a little kind gesture can make all the difference  

Answer 2

I am in a similar situation. My family doesn't believe in second/ third baby showers. That wouldn't bother me except that this baby is ten years apart from my last baby! Not to mention I never really got a real baby shower in the first place.  My family are not very good people. They just aren't. My aunt tried throwing me a baby shower for my second child and no one showed up. It was very hurtful. The biggest thing was I did not have a baby shower for my first child. Now I'm expecting my third and I am not even going to bother with the baby shower. I have however made a baby list for my friends who wish to get me something. It does hurt, don't feel like you shouldn't feel hurt. I mostly feel hurt because so many people throw multiple baby showers and get away with it. When I didn't even really get one. It doesn't make you a bad person just one of the unlucky ones who doesn't get tones of nice things for baby. As far as your MIL she might be getting stuff and hasn't mentioned it. If she doesn't just know the most important thing is that baby inside you. No one can give you a better gift!

Answer 3

Throw yourself a "Baby Sprinkle" on the invites write this is a party to celebrate yet another lovely miracle being nrought into the world gift and present are not required yet greatly appreciated. have a close friend or someone throw it for you or do it yourself. I believe ALL babies should have a celebration in their honor for coming into the world not just the first child. i would be a bit upset too. but you never know.maybe confront her and ask. "are you excited about the new baby" if she says yes she simply tell her that you feel maybe shes mad at you or you feel shes not excited and it has upset you a bit. simply enough be honest and let her know you feel as if she uninterested and not being as much a part of this new life as you thought she would.

GOOD LUCK!

congratulations even if they dont act like its a big deal we ALL know its a huge miracle, and ever baby is a wonderful gift in itself!

Answer 4

I am sure over the years that your MIL will shower your daughter will alot of things.  Is she the spoiling type of grandma or the frugal kind of grandma... do you have a good relationship now... I dont think anyone should expect a bad relationship all of a sudden turn good ebcause of a birth of a child... or death of someone.. or illness... if family isn't close in good times, they won't be close in bad times and it shouldn't be expected

Answer 5

i would be upset too i haven't gotten anything from my mother in law yet either but i know she got us stuff because she told my hubby. This is my first baby but his second he has an older son the thing that really upset me about this is that no one threw me a baby shower or even offered to since they had one for his ex a while ago... no offense but how does that help me? she kept all the stuff not to mention she had a boy im having a girl... anyways my dad saw how upset i was and told me yesterday he was going to throw me a shower ( my mom passed 4 years ago) since no one else even offered...

by the way im due in 12days so i would be upset if i were you also

Answer 6

She might just be waiting until the baby comes.  My mil & mom are both ecstatic about our 2nd child due in November, but neither has bought him anything yet.  

Answer 7

Maybe she wants to wait until the baby is actually born... She'll get the baby something, of course! Try to be patient, and not sweat the small stuff. :) (I know: easier said than done, sometimes!)

If it makes you feel any better, my own mom never bought my babies anything, before they were born, or even showed up at the hospital with anything! Mom-in-law did buy a few things, but it did bother me that my mom didn't... Most women, I think, would assume their mom---of all people---would take an active interest in the impending arrival of a grandchild. (However, she buys them things, here and there, now that they're  actually here. :))

*edited* Goodness, of course my story doesn't make you feel better! Just re-read that, and it sounds cheesy! Sorry. :)

Answer 8

I understand where you are coming from! I would be just as upset. This baby is very special and extremely important. Even if it's a boy of girl I would want my MIL to be excited and get us a gift.

I also think that every baby should be showered with gifts! Who cares if it's the first one or the 8th one they are all just as special and loved.

Congratulations!  

Answer 9

I think its just the pregnancy talking!! You kno..that need for attention kind of thing!! But im sure that she will definately get the baby something!! N if she doesnt in the first week or so...then you have the right to be mad!! LOL!!

Answer 10

I totally understand. My daughter has 3 sets of grandparents and 1 set of great grandparents and one great grandma. Now my mom and stepdad, dad and his wife and my daughters great grandparents (my grandparents) always buy her things wether it be be a top, pants, diapers, wipes, or a coloring book from the dollar store. Which i so much appreciate cause it helps us out.

But my inlaws and her great grandma (all on my hubbys side) ONLY buy her gifts on christmas and birthdays. They NEVER buy anything for her just because.

I get a little annoyed with it, it may sound selfish, but thats how i feel.

Don't worry, it's not silly. :)  

Answer 11

maybe she is planning a small shower for you. and that's why she didnt get anything i think you should have something since you are having a girl this pregnancy.. good luck

Answer 12

I think it is normal for you to be upset... bringing a new baby into the family is a cause for celebration! You want her to share your joy and excitement.

Perhaps she is waiting until after the child is born to give a gift?

Good luck!

Answer 13

Give her time.  Ever think that she might be just a little bit jealous and envious of you?  You having a girl is probably the one thing she wanted but could never have.  She'll come around and probably spoil the little princess (and that's what the baby WILL be) rotten.

Answer 14

I am also due in October; October 3rd to be exact. This is my first baby and my mom's first grandchild but she isn't getting us anything because she doesn't have the money to. It upsets me a little but I don't mind as long as she is in his life -somewhat (I live in a totally different state from her) Most of my side of the family doesn't get along so I don't expect anything from them. I'm mostly getting all my stuff from my fiancee's side which I feel bad about but they are doing it cause they want to. There are more things to be upset about than something as little as this. Congrats on your baby girl and Good Luck.

Answer 15

Maybe she's waiting until the baby is actually born before she gets gifts for her.  Or maybe she's having money troubles and can't really afford to do anything special.  I understand you being a little hurt by it, though.  

Answer 16

maybe she is waiting for when the baby comes maybe she has something special the first little girl in her life

Answer 17

I would be hurt a little to if it were me. I wouldn't want the gift i would just want the thought and have them show they are excited. The fact they will go out of their way for the new baby, its ok to feel that way. I am sure they will get a little something when the baby is born. Hang in there and Congrats!

Answer 18

Maybe she doesn't want to get her hopes up yet. Even with today's technology, they still could be wrong in determining the gender of a baby. Maybe she just wants to make sure it's a girl (after she's here) before she goes crazy with excitment. It must of been hard on her to have only boys herself, and they keep getting boy grandchildren, she may just be trying to protect herself incase it comes out a boy.

I understand your hurt feelings, but I would try to give her the benefit of the doubt and wait to see what happens after your daughter is born.

Good luck and congratulations!

Answer 19

I would be too!!  She is the gramma for goodness sake!!! Family and friends threw babyshowers for all my kids (3).  Each child should be celebrated!!  But what can you do--  But i would feel the same way, so dont feel bad feeling hurt.

Good luck!