My fiance' and i are really confused... what do we do?

Question

ok so were supposed 2 be getting married next summer after i graduate high school but im having a baby and he wants to move the wedding date up. im not sure what to do ... what do we do?

Answer 1

Of course you move up the wedding date - get married asap, and then concentrate on being parents.

Answer 2

Wait.

Let's say things don't work out after the baby is born(i.e one or both of you decide you're not ready to become a parent). Wait at least a year to see how things work out. You'll appricate it in the long run. Plus, your only about 17 or 18 I'm assuming. I don't want to parent you but, you have your whole life a head of you. Think about your future. Marriage take commitment. Are both of you sure you're ready for that?

Think about it....

Answer 3

Well, having a baby is not a minor thing. A child needs both parents and needs to see both parents together. I think it would be right for you both to get married sooner and at have a right start off to making a real family. Since God has ordained s*x and children (a product of s*x) for those who are married I definitely say get married and have God be the center of your new family. God bless and take care.  

Answer 4

So you are a teenager and pregnant and NOW you're seeking advice from other people? First thing you need to do is grow up - a LOT. Talk to your parents and HIS parents together and see what the whole family agrees on because you are not alone in this. From an outsider's point of view, not knowing the family's financial circumstances, it is difficult to give an opinion that is pertinent. BUT - this situation has popped up in our extended families and, in all 3 cases, the girls stayed in school and graduated, lived at home for parental support and help with baby, the boys got part-time jobs only so their schooling wouldn't suffer and they gave their salaries to the baby's needs. After babies reached a year old, the following occured: one couple broke up and the girl (my niece) got more assistance from social services, completed a 2 year college program and now has a happy 8 year old and owns a condo on her own; one couple waited another year until boy could get established in his job, they had premarriage counselling at church, and they married and are happy after 14 years, and the third couple also grew apart, she met and married a great guy who was allowed to legally adopt the little girl. I point these examples out to show you that, at 15 or 16 or 17, you are not yet fully mature and your expectations will change. Appreciate and respect your parent's opinion, stay in school and think of your child. Don't be surprised if, in a year, you are not still "in love" with baby's father. It could happen and it won't be the end of the world. At the same time, with support, no financial pressures, and an education, the two of you might just make it! Good luck. EDIT: I hope to heck the boy's family's money isn't what is attracting you to him!! Money can go a fast as it arrives and he could get dis-owned. Anyone with money and no education to know how to manage resources can usually lose the cash very fast!! Now you are REALLY starting to sound far too immature for marriage!

Answer 5

You do what you are ready for. Do you 2 already live together? If not, think of all the changes (and stress) that come along with moving, being married and being pregnant. If you think you can do it, then do it, if not, next summer will be good too.  

Answer 6

Don't get married for the wrong reasons.  You are very young and shouldn't rush into things.  If you plan on being together forever what's the rush?  Why not have the baby and give yourselves a little time to adjust to parenthood before getting married.

Answer 7

Well you have two choices, rish the wedding, not get the plannig the way you want but be married before the baby gets here

or

have the baby, save your money and plan the wedding after and include your child.

Answer 8

I think you should wait.  Just because you are pregnant doesn't mean you have to marry him.  Have the baby, adjust to your new life, then get married when it seems right.  

Answer 9

Having a baby doesn't mean you have to get married.  If that was the case I would be very unhappy right now.  I have a 4 year old daughter with my ex and we argued all the time.

I say wait and see how life is together after the baby is born.  Finish school and maybe even go to college( you can get a lot of state school grants by being a single mom).  If you still feel the same about each other after you BOTH grow up a bit, then consider marriage.  Just dont rush into anything just because you're having a baby.

Answer 10

Never marry simply because of a baby.

I would continue with your original plans, adjust to the changes a new baby brings, and see how things go after that.

Answer 11

maybe he doesn't want your child to be a "b*****d" which is an antiquated  idea but it's his beliefs

if still wants to get married you could have a courthouse wedding now and still plan the ceremony for the original date

Answer 12

this is similar to my situation. i moved in with my boyfriend in january. we were talking about getting married next year or the year after... time to plan and save up for it. well i found out in the middle of jan. that i was pregnant. i am due on sept. 5th. anyways. he wanted to get married right away. i didnt. i wanted to wait because i didnt want to get married just because i was pregnant and i didnt want everyone to think that we got married because of the baby. after i sat down and explained my reasoning for it to him he agreed to wait until after the baby was born. so we are getting married next oct. that way we have time to plan, save and i can slim back down to fit into a wedding dress.

if you are unsure about it i would wait. but its up to you. right out of high school is very fast to become a mother and a wife. its going to be a very stressfull and  trying time for the both of  you and you may need to take a step back before making that commitment. my best friend was engaged our jr year of high school. while saving for the wedding she got pregnant and had a kid at 19. her and her boyfriend waited to get married. they have been together for 9 years and only married for 2. they have 2 beautiful children and one on the way. that is only one example.

in the end no matter what anyone tells you, it is ultimately up to you and you will have to follow your heart, your mind and your instincts.

you will have to let your mind dwell on the good and the bad in the situation before making that choice.

Answer 13

Go to school and concentrate on your education.

Do not get married please.

Answer 14

i think it would be better to have it after the baby, you dont want to stress and u dont want to blend everything together. enjoy the pregnancy and the baby then enjoy the wedding. if you try and do it all at once youll regret not taking your time when you were pregnant and planning a wedding.