Question:

My fiance' just left me?

by | earlier

He broke up with me because he says I am too jealous all the time and i nag him.. So I told him I was going to leave him to make him happy , I packed all my stuff and left and realized I could not live without him.When I got back to the house he was gone... He never came back and did not answer ANY of my phone calls... then when he came back he told me to get out and that he does not want to be with me anymore he keeps telling me we need a break for a couple weeks and then I can come back.. I honestly think its BS should I go stay with a firend for a couple weeks to let things cool off.. or should i just leave and get my own place..? I am getting really depressed i cant eat or sleep .. I cant barley even get threw a day of work...

Tags:

Report

Answer The Question I've Same Question Too

Follow Question

27 ANSWERS

Sort By: Date | Rating

Get your own place and use this as a learning experience. You are controlling and jealous and you need to work on these issues or this will happen again and again in your life. You need to stop crying, go eat, go take a nap, and smile. Your behavior will only convince your fiance that he did make the right decision. The best thing you can do is apologize to him for your behavior. Then set out to move to your own apartment, do a great job at work, spend time with girl friends you have been ignoring, smile and be happy. That is the only way he will ever decide he would like to try again. Depressed and crying will drive him away for sure. Make sure that you don't say anything to anyone about this. No friends, no relatives. Otherwise, he will not be back for sure and if he does come back they will all hate him.
Report (0) (0) | earlier
did you really do all those things?

he sees you as pushy, nasty, domineering, petulant, and not at all ladylike or feminine.  i would want to flee from you too.  what is next, stalking him?

you are probably a very nice person but you are skirting the edge of really being out of control.  your actions dont even make rational sense.  if you are engaged, that means you are planning a wedding, what more do you want from him?

all of us have blind spots about the way we affect others.  have you ever been around a person with severe bad breath who did not know you could smell it and were horrifed by it?  did you avoid them?  did they offend you?  yes  you did.

you in a similiar way have appalling manners.  and instead of understanding how this turns people off, you are blind to this, and only see it when people back away from you as this guy is doing.   this is never going to get your anywhere in life.  do you fight with other people too?  are you just an angry resentful person?

the fact that you are now depressed tells me you are unable to correct this.  i feel for you and know you dont want to be this way.

somewhere along the way you missed a class in how to be a nice lady.  start here and perhaps learn some things :  the miss manners books,  'the rules'  the rules for marriage  the proper care and feeding of husbands,  how to get anyone to do anything by leiberman, and, why men marry some women and not others, by molloy
Report (0) (0) |   earlier
You left for attention, and he took it!!

Good for HIM!!! You are too inmature to be on a serious relationship. If you don't trust him, nag him and make spectacles and shows for attention, then I do not blame him for kicking you to the curbe. A nagging woman in your home is h**l and no one wants to live in a constant battle, arguemnts and accusations.

He's right. Sorry, you need to move out, cool off and move on.

Ps/ Start looking for a place to live. It's over.
Report (0) (0) | earlier
Go ahead and stay away a few days that's all he needs...a few days to cool off. He told you to get out. That means GET OUT!
Report (0) (0) | earlier
Just leave and get your own place. "Need a break" from a guy means he's already moved on.
Report (0) (0) | earlier
sorry
Report (0) (0) | earlier
take a break and see what happens..
Report (0) (0) | earlier
my fiance did the same thing but didn't come back. You can let it cool off or realize that you aren't good for each other because people who love each other would not do this to one another. It sucks I know.....but better now then when you are married. I feel I lost the one that I loved but now realize you can't make someone love you back. Communication is the key and if you can't talk out your problems then you aren't made for eachother. Sorry..people who want to get married will stay with eachother and not leave. This much I have learned!
Report (0) (0) | earlier
So what are your plans to make things better?  I think you should take the next couple of weeks to construct a plan of action to fix what's broken.  He says you're jealous - this is usually from insecurity, which stems from staggeringly low self-esteem.  Why not find yourself a therapist who can help you work through your issues?

Going back just because you can't get through a day of work isn't going to fix your relationship problems.  It will only delay them a little.  You need to repair the issues.  He will be far more willing to take you back if he knows that you are working hard to become a better partner.
Report (0) (0) |   earlier
I would leave for a few days and let you both cool off and take another look at your relationship and talk it out.. when you are married it won't be so easy to just walk away
Report (0) (0) | earlier
Just take a break..Maybe this break up will help you two to see if you guys can't live with out each other.
Report (0) (0) | earlier
Sorry to hear that.

Get your own place, stay with a friend until you can find something more suitable. I say get your own place because it gives you leverage and place to go in case he decides he needs "space" again.

Also from the way it seems, if you're actually a jealous person with no justifiable reason(s), you may want to seek counseling. If you're jealous for reasons (gut instinct), you'll be happy you have  your own place.

Right now you're mourning the "death" or impending death of your relationship. Don't fight the process, its gonna hurt at first but after a while you'll feel better and see things in a clearer light and give you the strength to face what you may already know but are denying.
Report (0) (0) |   earlier
He says that you need a break and then can come back. I would give him a couple days and try to get a hold of him again. But give him a rest first. Maybe he just needs to realize that he can't live without you either. But during this time maybe you can spend some time thinking about being jealous and nagging and if it is all worth it. Let him know you want to talk about things and figure some stuff out (after you give him some time to rest). You don't have to move back in, but you want to talk about a couple things. Good luck.
Report (0) (0) | earlier
I beleieve you should leave and give him some space. Go stay with a friend or family member.  Don't call him, just let him breath.  If by a week or so he hasn't called, you should try and find your own place.

If he does call, you both need to sit down and talk about the problems you have with one another.   Maybe put your wedding on hold.

You need to fix these problems BEFORE you tie the not.  Because once you are married it won't be so easy to just say "I'm done" and walk away..

You need to really start thinking about fixing your jealousy and insecurity issues.  You both need to have trust in each other in order to have a health happy marriage.

If both of you work on it.  I'm sure everything will be fine.

Again just give him some space for a week or two.  If he truley loves you then he will come back and want to work things out.

And if not....well you deserve better and will find someone who loves you for you.

Hope this helps.

Report (0) (0) |   earlier
im leary of men that break up with strong accusations and anger, seems theyre often up to no good.
Report (0) (0) | earlier
You need to give him his space. Stay with a friend but start looking for your own place. You need to start working on your jealousy & insecurities...we all have them but they can be toxic in a relationship. If you really love him you will try to control those emotions. Leave him alone for awhile..let him call you & when he does let him know that you do love him & are changing your ways. Good luck hun.
Report (0) (0) | earlier
First be strong not for him or anyone be strong for yourself. Second get out and be on your own I am sure you are a very pretty girl you will find someone new
Report (0) (0) | earlier
Sounds like you both could use a break....move out and get your own place....it's not going to fix itself overnight....you walked...that in itself says something about how you react to problems....and whether you really want to fight for your life together.

Take a break ...concentrate on your work and take some time to really think about the FOREVER and if you really want that with this man...

it shouldn't be that hard to be with someone you love...
Report (0) (0) | earlier
Im sorry for your break-up, i know its never easy, but the way it sounds, you should find your own place. It would be for the best and if you guys decide to get together again you will have your self established in your own place so you wont have to worry about if it doesnt work out again.

Good Luck!!
Report (0) (0) | earlier
He called  your bluff and you lost. You need to move on. He doesn't want the drama and aggravation.

He said two weeks in order to get some distance from you. He is not going to open the door in two weeks and you should learn not to play games.

Learn more about yourself  and be a better person for the next guy.
Report (0) (0) |   earlier
That sucks, I'm really sorry. You need some time, and you will feel better, but yeah, I think he's just trying to get rid of you and making it seem a little less jerky by telling you a couple weeks. You should get you own place and move on, I'm sorry though, I know its hard.
Report (0) (0) | earlier
Take a break and see what happens. You might realize in the end that you can live without him. Or, maybe both of you will realize that you are meant for each other. Sometimes taking a break can be the best thing for a relationship.

Report (0) (0) | earlier
I would leave permanently. That kind of stress and disruption is not worth it, in my opinion. I don't put up with conflict like that. Either we're together or we're not, it's that simple. I'd move out and find something better to do with my time than wait for him to make up his mind. Stay strong girl!

Good luck
Report (0) (0) | earlier
Your best bet is to just leave and get your own place and move on. My guess is he already has turned to someone else to comfort him and that is why he was gone and also why he thinks you two need a break for awhile. He wants to see if things will work out with this other person and yet keep you as his fall back.
Report (0) (0) | earlier
How old are you guys? Sounds like a really dumb fight.

I would just wait until he cools off but being a depressed mess won't help......... pull yourself together so you can talk about this with him adult to adult.
Report (0) (0) | earlier
I would say it would depend on what the real issue is.. Why are you fighting and is there anyway to get over the difficult situation.. but breaking up is not the answer.. if you cant work it out now without leaving one another then how do you expect to make a marriage and a family work. You cant keep walking out on one another when there are children involved... So if you can not work it out without leaving ... then do not bother trying to make a marriage and a family.. Families dont walk out on one another..
Report (0) (0) | earlier
you should stay with a friend for a couple of weeks. you's cant break up for a childish argument. both of you's have to learn to deal with everything together even if you do naq and are very jelous all the time. he must just have cold feet . talk to him in a couple of days after he cools of. dont worry about it if he really loves you he will come back
Report (0) (0) | earlier