My fiance's friend turned him down on best man request...?

Question

Now what? It's disheartening, really.

Answer 1

WHATEVER YOU DO DO NOT ASK THE BEST MAN....

I don't mean to hurt anyones feelings but my first inclination is he doesn't agree with this wedding...

So if you don't want to be upset or ruin the friendship DON'T ASK.

Just le it go and if he has any reservations AND YOU ALL were right to get married then prove it to him.

Sorry for being a downer, just ask someone else, and have him do that as well... Don't make your fiance pick between you and his best friend, just understand and accept his refusal.

Answer 2

Now he asks someone else to do it.  His friend obviously had a reason to decline.  I mean the cost of being in a wedding these days both financially and time wise is enough to make someone decline.  just ask someone else.

Answer 3

What a jerk.  I would be so offended if I were your fiance.  Maybe he is jealous.  It is disheartening and I am really sorry for you fiance.  Obviously he thinks of his friend more than he thinks of him.  It is unbelievable that he would say no.  Now he has to pick someone else who he feels close to.  If I were him I would write this friend off and not even invite him to my wedding.

Answer 4

I am terribly sorry. That IS disheartening, but don't let him be a killjoy. Obviously the friend isn't in a financial position to play such a major role, or doesn't feel he is close enough to your fiance' to take the honor. I would take some time, and let your fiance' do some inner reflection (if he doesn't want to iscuss the situation with the friend further), and choose someone else.  

Answer 5

I wouldn't want to have anything to do with him then.

Anyway, Congrats!

Answer 6

Maybe he doesn't have the money to take on the responsibility. You never know why people can't do it.  

Answer 7

Move on!!  It's upsetting, but don't be mad at him.  The role of the best man can be stressful, expensive and time consuming.  He probably feels like he can't fulfill the role well and doesn't want to disappointed.  Does he have anything major going on in his own life?   Is he getting married, moving into a new house, new job, new baby?  That might be the reason, he's got other priorities.

Is there someone else he can ask?  Some equally special?  

Answer 8

There may be a lot of reasons why he turned it down. It may be a financial reason (and don't say you know he can afford it because you don't *know* someone's finances/debt/etc), it could be a time issue. Heck, he might not like standing up in front of people, organizing things, or making speeches. Just ask someone else.

Answer 9

Sorry to hear that! It's sad that when you want to include others in your happiest moments, sometimes their reactions are not what you had imagined they would be.....

Did the friend give a reason?  Did he have an understanding of what the role means to your fiance? (Because the role means different things to different people).

Maybe your fiance can address the items that might be making his friend uncomfortable. For instance, he may be nervous about the idea of speaking in front of people when it is time to give the toast. Or sometimes it's a financial thing. Or maybe he feels like someone else should be asked (brother, cousin, etc).

Once your fiance learns more about why his friend said no, maybe they can come to an understanding on that issue and the friend will accept the best man role. Or maybe the friend is not that great a friend since this is the most important day of your lives.

I wish you the best of luck! And have a happy wedding and marriage!