My fiance's mom is less than excited about our engagement, should I be offended?

Question

My fiance called his mom to tell her we are engaged and she was not so excited. She seemed pretty bummed. She said something like, "okay..."

should I be offended? Or is it just that he's her only son and it's hard for her?

We've gotten along okay, I mean.. she never loved me, but she always seemed to like me well enough, so it's a little confusing.

Answer 1

Lol! Girl I have have to disagree with everyone who saids that she will get over it. She MIGHT NOT! My fiance's mom didn't. And when we told her we were engaged we got that same not so happy reply "ok". Then her jealous behavior got out of control. It's bad now because they don't have a mother and son relationship. She refuses to get over it.

Answer 2

When my fiance told his parents we were engaged, his mom was silent for several minutes then asked, "Is she pregnant?" Needless to say, she's not that thrilled about us getting married either. He's not her only son, but he is the youngest in the family...

I think it's just a mom thing & she'll come around in time. Have patience, honey

Answer 3

nah, my future mother in law hates me because "i took her son away" but just be happy with him don't let her destroy your happiness because in the end its going to be all about you two, i know it sucks because i wish me and her have a good relationship and shes only trying to get along with me because he has already proved to her that hes marrying me rather she likes it or not (which that is another story) but my point be happy.

Much Luck and Congrats!! :D

Answer 4

Even though my fiance won't admit it, I know his mother is not thrilled about our engagement either.  We haven't said anything formally to his parents but I wear my ring when they see me so they definitely know.

I think it's hard for my fiance's mother to recognize that her son is an adult and has someone in his life.  He's seen his family a lot less since we have been together.

Just be friendly and try to develop a deeper relationship with her (if you want to of course!)

Answer 5

It is very possible that she had other plans for him. Maybe she wanted him to wait longer or for some particular accomplishment.

I've been friends with a guy our whole lives and his grandmother always said he was going to marry me. He and I are still friends but she hasn't spoken to me since I got engaged to someone else.  Maybe she planned someone else for him.

Just love him and be good to him and she'll have no reason to ever complain. Maybe it isn't even about you...

You just never know what's going on in other people's lives. Don't let this bring you down. Enjoy the fact that the man you love loves you back and he's going to marry you and take care of you and make you very very happy!

Congratulations and best wishes.

Answer 6

Yeah- don't let it affect you so much right now. My friend's future mother-in-law is the same way with her and I really feel for her. Hopefully after time goes by she'll realize that you ARE the one for her son. :)

Answer 7

He is her only son! That is a big reason. Just be yourself, and I'm sure she will start to come around. Maybe she was a little up set that her son didn't tell her first.That would have upset me.I'm sure everything will work out.

Answer 8

I wouldn't worry about it to much. She was probably just a little shocked. A lot of emotions hit her I am sure seeing as this is her onl son.

Maybe you could give her a call on your own and talk with her. I am sure she would appreciate that. It might just take her some time to get used to it - but I am sure it will be okay.  

Answer 9

could be worse...I had an ex and we were engaged and her mom hung up on her...turns out the flat out hated me because they were racist n***s of sorts...when my current Fiance told her parents they did not seem all that happy but they said that was because they were expecting it...Conga Rats and dont worry!

Answer 10

It won't do any good for you to be offended so I'd just ignore her initial reaction.  It's nice you're trying to see her side of the situation.  She may come around eventually, or she may end up being a horrible MIL.

Answer 11

Don't worry about it, in laws can be a pain in the butt.  My in laws still don't care for me after 10 yrs being married and 13 together.  When we told them we were pregnant for our first child his dad said Bad timing son.  Go figure we lost that baby a few weeks later.

Congrats on your engagement!

Answer 12

Eh, don't worry about it.

She is probably going through a lot too.

Maybe in a few months take her out to lunch, tell her about the wedding plans, just have a g*y time with her.  

Answer 13

There could be dozens of reasons she wasn't enthusiastic when he gave her the news. For some women it's hard to accept the fact that their kids are old enough to GET married. It could also be that she was hurt that he didn't talk to her about it before he proposed, especially if they were close in the past.

My stepson just proposed to his girlfriend. We were all out in Vegas, and he needed our help to pull off the surprise, so my husband and I were in on it. His mom was out there too, and she was fine when he announced he was engaged, but the next day we had lunch with her and she was giving me and my husband dirty looks all day. I think she was hurt that he felt he could confide in us, but didn't tell her. She eventually got over it, but he made a point to say that her other son told her in advance when he was going to propose.  

Answer 14

People respond oddly to all sorts of stuff (there was a funny article on how men responded to their wives telling them they were pregnant on msn today).  She may have been really surprised, or suddenly thought about everything involved in getting a wedding put together, or just the fact that her baby just got engaged.  Don't worry too much about how she responded, give her the benefit of the doubt, and enjoy planning the rest of your life together with your fiance!!  Congratulations.  

Answer 15

You're lucky she's not yelling and screaming!  If he is her only son then this response is very typical.  Don't take it to heart, she'd behave that way no matter who he chose.  Just take the lukewarm and be happy.  Treat your future husband and his family well no matter what, and if you guys ever have kids, his mother will be really happy.

Answer 16

What reasons does she give? Some women are just overprotective of their sons. Other have legitimate reasons for not wanting their son to get married, for example he is too young or hasn't known the woman long enough. Other people are just unhappy and don't show happiness about anything.