My fiance and I had our 1st argument....?

Question

We've been together for over a year and living together since december. Things have been great except for one thing....my lack of a job. I have been looking for a job for almost a year. I've been on countless interviews and no luck. I even got hired at this home health care place(but it turned out to be a bunch of crock...that's a whole other story). I know that one reason I haven't had luck is that I was a stay at home mom/student for the past 4 years. I have no current job skills and no current references from an co-workers or bosses.

Anyway, I know my fiance is feeling the pressure of supporting me and my daughter(even though i get a limited amount child support from her dad). I don't know what happened yesterday at work but he came home last night and was not in a good mood.

We sat down and talked, but it ended up being more of an argument. We ended up settling things before we went to bed, but i know he's bitter about me not having a job, he knows how hard it is, but we need the income.

But this morning when things seemed better, he was off to work and I told him I loved him he just looked at me and turned away and just said bye.

I have been upset all day. I don't know what else or where else to look for a job. I do have an interview on monday.

I don't want my relationship to fail because of this. I need some idea or suggestions.

Answer 1

Since you've been having a hard time maybe you can try stuff that you could do at home to bring in some mula...you could sell things like Mary Kay or Avon or even babysit in your home. There are also jobs for online companies that you can look into and do from home....check this out.

http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/Parenting/stor...

Don't worry about fighting, all couples argue and it's not like you aren't trying just DON'T give up! You'll find something that is perfect for you!

Answer 2

You have tons of options if you can find some motivation (perhaps the argument was enough?). You can sell Mary Kay or Avon from your home, you can do part-time work as a waitress or another unskilled job like retail, you can clean houses on your own schedule, you can watch other people's kids since you're at home all day with your own anyway, there are lots of things you can do! Don't get discouraged, you have to put yourself out there. You should spend the day sending out resumes by the 100s and that way you have a better chance of getting a job. Put yourself on Monster and Yahoo Jobs as well so employers can find you.

Good luck!

Answer 3

if you need the $ then just get ANY job for now - you are obviously not qualified YET sooooo get an entry level job and hustle!  

Answer 4

This is gonna be mean, but you need it.

Reading your question, this is what I see.

A single mother who came into a mans life.

The single mother, is having a worse time getting a job than a homeless person with a sigh that says "will work for food"

in front of burger king drive thru.

While this is going on, the man tries to support her, give her a home, everything.

Now being a good mother, you probley put the child first, and put him on the back burner, no s*x, no love, no nothing.

So in his view point, he is starting to think that all he is good for is his home, and money.

And unfourtnaly, most single moms do this to men. Sorry but they do.

So you need to sit down and figure out what you love. Him, or his money.

And if you love him, you better start making that apparent. NOW!

Answer 5

wait tables or bartend. most chain restaurants have a high turnover rate and are always hiring, even without experience. it's good money, and it's cash that you can take home every night. a lot of people that work in restaurants got to school and/or have children, so they'll work with your schedule. good luck to you. and if this is your first fight with your fiance, your relationship is not in jeopardy.

Answer 6

you need to settle this problem before you get married. because it will almost possitively get worse. maybe he was just having a bad day. If he is worrying about money. try and cut some of your living expenses. this will help tremendously.  If he truly loves you this you not having a job shouldn't come between you. sit down with him and find out what the real problem is. because when you get married. it might be too late to discuss finances.

Answer 7

Sign up with some temp agencies and see if you can get work that way.  It may not be perm. but you will be able to try out different things and work on building your job skills.  You will also have income, it may not be steady but at least it is something.  

Answer 8

Remember you have had arguments before don't over analyze it now that you have a ring on your finger, that is very easy to do. You understand what he is going through, express that to him. Did you guys have  a money talk before. If not you need to  

Answer 9

Are you trying to go right into a career? Have you tried places like McDonald's? Anything is better than nothing. Try a coffee shop or Walmart. I know they pay very little but they pay. At least you can get some experience for a better job down the road.

Answer 10

Aww,  I am sorry to hear hes being a f**t face about this. I am sure he understands  you're  feverishly looking  for a job, but he has to understand that jobs these days are SOOOO hard to find.  Maybe you can grab a local paper, and circle some help wanted ads that sound interesting to you and show him. That way you are involving him and he will actually see you are looking for a job. Your relationship wont fail because of this. Maybe he was just having a bad day. Good luck. ♥

Answer 11

I'm sorry to hear that you guys had your first fight. Most couples fights are about money - and everything is getting so expensive I can see why he might be a little worried. I am sure that he isn't mad at you - I bet you it's more like he is concerned and feeling pressure because he is the only one who has an income right now.

Are you looking for a full time job or a part time job? Maybe you could get a job at someplace like Target - they have some good part-time jobs available; and the pay isn't all that bad either. Or, maybe you could try a stationary store or Hallmark? Now that the holiday season is approaching I am sure there will be more opportunities available. Once you finish school you will be able to find a better job, but for right now you just have to take what you can get. The job market isn't all that great...especially around here. I know that I have not been happy with my job. I have been keeping my eyes open for a new one, but not a whole lot of people are hiring right now...and I have a college degree and many years of work experience. It's not easy for anyone right now.

All that you can do is keep trying. I know that it hurts either way though. It's never easy to say I love you to someone and have them just turn around and say goodbye. Even if I am mad at my husband I always try to say I love you before I walk out the door - you just never know what might happen.

When he gets home from work you should talk with him and tell him how much it has been bothering you. Maybe both of you just need to take some time and relax - my offer for margarita's always stands.  =)

Answer 12

Sorry, but you are walking here on very thin ice.

I'm sure that your fiance is tired of your excuses and he is feeling the presure by being the only person bringing home the bacon to a jobless girfriend with a child from another man.

Excuse me for being too honest, but you are full of excuses. I've seen many friends that go to school at night and work during the day. I've seen many single moms that work two and sometimes three jobs.

I hate to tell you that he's tired of this and that you have to realize that perhaps your free meal ticket is running out and that you will have to not only have to find a job, but also keep it.

Just to let you know, there are no jobs for princesses and queens on the classifieds. Jobs are everywhere, from entry level and up, but my guess is that you do not want to be an entry level position worker and want to be the boss with no education or experience and that's why "you are not getting hired". Get real.

I have a full time job, commmute for 2 hours a day, have a 10 year old son, pay daycare, slave for 7 hours and I'm currently going for my master's degree at night. So, what's your excuse?

I'm a single mom and I've work since I was 17. I haven't got where I am by sitting on my a$$ drawing child support or goverment asssitance and making someone else support me, as I'm perfectly capable to pay my own bills and also help with living expenses.

Going to work sucks and you will have to put up with it just like everybody else.

Good luck

Answer 13

how can you have no job skills after being a student for 4 years? what the h**l did you do in class?

Answer 14

Sounds like you may have to settle for something less than a professional position. Try grocery stores, restaurants, coffee shops. Your fiancé sounds like a patient man, but I'm sure the stress of supporting the three of you is getting to him. I'm sure you're doing all you can to find work, but you have to understand that he is under pressure, too. I'm not sure what kinds of places you're applying at; seems that you may have to settle for something much less than what you're going after. Yes, it's hard to not have any recent experience. Is there anything  that you've noticed you are missing that could have bettered your chances of getting work? Maybe you could look into taking some classes? Continuous education centers offer free and low-cost classes. Maybe you could brush up on your typing skills? New computer software? A second language? Have you tried signing up with temp agencies in your area? A friend of mine, when she was out of work, took up cleaning people's homes for a living, and she was making ok money with it; she mostly did it for friends and friends of friends, then she got more referrals. I pay my maid $110 per visit, and it only takes her a couple of hours to clean the whole house. $55/hr is not bad (that's more than I make). Do you know anyone who might need a babysitter? Would you consider running a daycare in your home? (Another friend of mine did it full-time; I don't know what the requirements are, but I'm just throwing out ideas.) You're right, it would be a shame if your relationship fell apart because of the financial pressures - but don't worry just yet. It's not like things are going to go down the toilet after just one argument. Look for creative (and maybe not too glamorous) options to make money. Good luck.

P.S. That's great that you're in school. All the more reason to look for a part-time flexible work - something like food service or customer service. Once you have your degree, you will stand a better chance of getting a more acceptable job.