My fiance and his ex wife have SO MUCH DRAMA going on about custody issues...?

Question

It's in the courts now and they can't get along no matter what they do. I have even tried talking to his ex and she truely is nuts. We (my fiance and I) are both stressed to the MAX about this... she's all about money and just wants MORE MORE MORE. With that being said, I SOMEHOW need to find a way to get along with her for his daughter's sake. It's h**l and we've been trying so hard. The main thing is, how do I not let her affect our lives anymore? She puts us through SO much stress, we suffer from it! It's terrible...... How do I just let this go??!!

Answer 1

If he drove one woman nuts, you should go slow. He's part of the first woman's problem, you could be next.  You can see how he acts when he doesn't get his way.

Answer 2

You cannot let her control you and your emotions.

It is her intention to make you guys miserable but if you keep a smile on your face (even if you have to super glue it that way) and do';t participate in her games, she may eventually stop.

Just remember to document EVERYTHING.

Good luck.

Answer 3

Honestly you need to stay out of it. Do not talk to her tdo nothing but smile when you see her and dont answer her calls. You are not in any way shape or form someone she should have to deal with. Your fiance has a child with his ex wife and he is the only one that should be involved it is not your place. I am going through this but the show is on the other foot I am divorced and my exs girlfriend is a rude rude snob that likes to roll her eyes and give me the finger. If she would just stay out of my business I wouldn't have any isssues with my sons father honestly. I am not saying you are involved but you do not have to deal with her or like her. All you have to do is respect her around her daughter. The law is very cut an dry for child support all she is get is 17% of his income and possible help paying for daycares/ babysitters, and medical. THAT IS ALL! she can say what she wants but she will nto get any more money then 17%. If you marry him she will not get any of your income either she will always get a cut an dry 17% of his gross income.

Good luck my dear

Answer 4

When my hubby and I first met, his crazy ex was doing all that and more and I was so frustrated. The best way we found to manage was to be super, super polite whenever talking to her about my stepson, smile and act like you like her. Anytime she would try and discuss anything other than my stepson, I'd say, "I'm sorry, I'm not going to talk about that." and end the conversation. If she brought up money, etc I'd say, "That's between you, my husband and the judge." and end the conversation. Over the years she's backed off b/c we just stopped reacting to things she said, emails, texts, etc and if no one is fighting with her, she has nothing to fight about. Now we're so polite that it's obviously fake to both of us. Oh well!! And never, ever, ever say ANYTHING negative to the kids. They don't need to know what's going on and if the ex is telling the kids, don't react and the kids will always remember that YOU never said anything detrimental about their parent.

Answer 5

My crazy wife is the same way. I know how your fiance feels, but if you really want to get this witch of your back, he will have to cut all contact with his daughter for a little while. She kows that that girl is his world and she uses her as weapon to make him misserable, cause she is not over him (even if she claims she is). he needs to tell her to shut up and go to h**l and if that means he won;t see his daughter for a while then so be it. He needs to send her a clear message "I tried to be nice, but I sick of your s**z and I won['t paly your d**n game".

It is goign to be really tough but it is the thing that works. Unfortunately I'm a softy wimp and after a while I caved in and now I'm in h**l again. But it truly works, hurts not to see your children but it works.

Answer 6

Humble yourself.

Crazy people do and say crazy things. And there is nothing the sane can do to prevent this.

Answer 7

I hear you, when I first got together with my husband his ex-wife had taken him back to court because she wanted even more money.  It was the worst period of our lives.  After about a year the issue was worked out, and they both share custody of the kids.  Unfortunately she did get the money she wanted, plus my husband pays for all the daycare and extra expenses.  However, thank god, someone up there is taking care of us, and we're both doing okay.  Meanwhile, she's switched jobs 3 times, and needs to take money from the kid's piggy banks just to survive and she's about $40,000 in debt, and the kid's have started expressing their dislike of her (which is sad that they recognize but good that they are intelligent enough to come to this conclusion on their own).

Be your step daughter's friend, and be there to listen to your fiance.  Life gets better one step at a time, focus on your future and know that if you and your fiance can get through this you can get through anything!  Best Wishes and God Bless.

Answer 8

simple pay the child support that is required, have no contact with her unless it is about the daughter and try to stay out of the same spots that she would be and as far as getting along with her goes she has already decided that is not going to happen as is the case when you are the ex, so either learn some stress control techniques or go to an easier relationship  

Answer 9

Nothing you can do. Things will die down with time. My ex is the same way. We had been divorced since 1998 and I don't hear a thing from her anymore unless her child support is a day late. Cheating freakin' ho.

Answer 10

I think you're asking the wrong question. You can't let her go; she'll always  be around. What you should be asking yourself is, "Is this man worth all this? Can I put up with this for the rest of my life?"