My fiance cheated on me. What should I do?

Question

My fiance and I recently moved from Southern California to Oregon together. I found out the other night that he had s*x with another girl before we moved. He told me he did it to see if he was making the right decision to move with me and to see what else is out there. I was his first and he wanted to see what it was like having s*x with someone else. I decided to call off the engagement but I am still in a relationship with him. He constantly tells me he's sorry and that he loves me. I can tell he is trying his hardest and wants to make things better but I don't know how to deal with this. Should I stay with him? What should I tell myself whenever I start to think about what happened?

Answer 1

Dump him.  He will cheat at the bachelor party and when you are pregnant.  You also will not be able to trust him with money.  If he is manipulating you now, it will get worst with money and between the two of you.

Answer 2

You know, as human beings we are curious. Just talk to him, tell him you were heart broken when you found out and you love him, but you won't allow that to ever happen again. It will be over if he ever even considers it again.

You were his first and only and he was frightened, as he should be. Its normal.

If you believe in your heart that he is a good man and loves you more than anything, you can forgive him. If not, start the arrangements to end it.  

Answer 3

What are you going to do when and if you marry him and he decides to test the waters in the arms of another woman just to see  if he still loves you and if all married women do it the same?  I'd say if he cheats before the marriage,he'll cheat during the marriage, why set yourself up for failure?

Answer 4

I wonder what he'll do right before the wedding.

Answer 5

Girl, get smart. This is probably not the first time that he has cheated on you. Think about it, is he just going to go out one night and decide to cheat, no, he has been scoping this person out for awhile now, and if not her then it was someone else. He is going to cheat on you again, probably more than once before the wedding get here. Move on and find someone who really loves you and wants to spend their life with you. He is not worth wasting your time on. He said he had s*x to see if you were the right person, wow really lame excuse. If he thought that you was the right person he never would have cheated in the first place.  

Answer 6

Whoa whoa whoa whoa people....lighten up on this girl.  Honey, did he just come out and tell you, or was it quite by accident that you found out?  I have many things to say about this issue, but I'll be brief.  He loves you right?...You still love him?...Then done deal..You know how hard it is in life to find two people that love each other?  Look at this relationship that you are in with him.  If you are happier with him than without him..make it a thing of the past, and let both of you learn from it.  He obviously loves you, witnessed by your own words here.  s*x and love come from two different parts of the brain and nowhere are either one connected with the other.  It just happens that when you have s*x with somebody you love...it is a deeper kind of feeling.  One does not equate with the other, nor has it ever.  Do what you two have to do to put this back on track...even if it means you have to step out and go have your own romp.  The sooner you both come to grips with this thing, the closer you two will become.  He needs a slap on the wrist, considering the circumstances, with a smile on your face, and a promise not to do it again.  He didn't do it to hurt you.....he did FOR him.  And though Im not condoning his actions, you two arent married yet...you have simply promised each other that you will marry.  He didn't do a good thing, cuz it was out of the realm of what you both agree on as accepted behavior.  But if this is your biggest problem in your up and coming matrimonial trip to the altar...you guys can certainly work thru the detailsl.  Yes, by all means stay with him, just redefine what both of you expect out of the relationship.  There is to much inuendo, and sexual promiscuity in everything from televison programs and commercials all the way up to and including our religious cultures.  Cut the guy some slack...and in so doing...you'll be allowing yourself to heal emotionally alot faster.  You have my blessing to spank him, now hold hands and go out to dinner.

Answer 7

I'm sorry but that really was a lame excuse on his part. If he wanted to have any relationship with another girl, he should've ended it with you first.

You can do better! Men like this probably use you as a safety net. Getting his kicks and "bonus" with another woman while getting kicks and security from you. Ditch the b*****d and find a man who will truely be faithful to you and respect you. Careful of STDs too!

Answer 8

I think you both need the experience of being with other people before making what is supposed to be a lifetime commitment.

Answer 9

Do you really need to ask such a dumb question?  Cheater now before even marriage, of course he'll cheat again.  DUMP the punk and find a real man who loves you.

Answer 10

That was the most lamest excuse ever. I would dump him.

ITS ONLY GOING TO GET WORSE. if you get married, he will probably cheat and use more ridiculous excuses.

good luck and be strong. you're better off without him! =)  

Answer 11

go on to www.surviving infidelity.com. and It talks all about cheating and what to do and also it has a message board on there  so you can talk to other people and see what they did.  

Answer 12

Yeah, that is a pretty lame excuse. I would deffinitly re-consider the relationship. If, and ONLY if he agrees to maybe go to some counceling try to work things out. Who knows, the thought of marriage might have really scared him! but THATS NOT an excuse, what he did was wrong!

It needs to be fixed, and Darling, Sorry's just can't cut it! what if you decide to marry, and he does it again?

Answer 13

well if i were you i would tell him what i think. if he did have feelings for her i would break up with him but if it had no meaning to him i would probably get over it

Answer 14

Wow, his excuse has got to be one of the the lamest excuses I have ever heard, it doesn't even have any credibility. Well, OK, you got two choices. Choice 1, stay in relationship but you have to COMPLETELY forgive him and try your hardest to forget. Choice 2, tell him farewell and move on with your life. The thing you have to consider the most is whether he is right for you and whether you got what it takes to forgive entirely and never bring up the subject again, otherwise you will be planning for a divorce soon. Good luck!

Answer 15

DUMP HIM.

no madder how much you love him

Answer 16

Well .....To start  some where what he has done is unforgettable. you know that.  this is my girls page  but as a guys point of view that is not an excuse for cheating. when you truly love some one  the rest of the world is blind to  you. obviously he did not love you the way he said he did. yes  he might be sorry for what he has done but truly if  he don this now  what makes you think he wont do it  again down  the line. i love my fiance . and would never even think of it. NOW IM NOT HERE TO TELL YOU LET HIM GO OR GIVE HIM A CHANCE. But its up to you ,will you be able to forget and forgive truly and are you willing to take that chance down the road and  have hime  do it again? Good Luck