My fiance dumped me after being together for almost four years, but now she wants me to take her back.?

Question

i was with this girl for almost four year ( engaged for one of them ) i notice that she distant her self more from me, hiding her feelings the last couple of weeks we were together. The day came when she told me that she didn't know what she was doing was right , she was afraid of not making the right choice and that we should part ways and move on. She moved her stuff out and went to her sisters , now four months later she calls me crying telling me that i should know the true reason for her leaving me. She said that she had became friends with some people from work and that she was doing drugs and drinking and she thought i would not understand her addiction and i would use it against her, she said she has stopped doing drugs and has been taking classes but the last thing she said was she didn't expect me to take her back but that she loves me and always would. I need some advice guys i don't know what to do , I really loved this girl and i always thought we had gone thru to much to just let it go. but i don't know if i should take her back , and if i did i would have trust issues later on

Answer 1

What a *****

Answer 2

Unless you want heartache don't jump back in. Wait and tell her you are not making the decision until she is clean and sober through meetings attendance, a sponsor and working the steps, for a year without any slips or relapse.

If she is serious about recovery and about a relationship with you she will understand and be willing to see you without romance until she has proven herself worthy of a good relationship. A good relationship requires two honest, sober and mature thinking people.

Answer 3

This is really sad, I'm so sorry for you.

I think you need to be strict with your self.  If there is anything you want to know about the time you have been apart you need to ask her as soon as possible.

Sit down with her and tell her that if you are to trust her again you need some answers.  Once you have those answer and they have (hopefully) satisfied you, you need to let it drop and work at re-building the relationship.  Don't keep going back to the same old questions or you will never move on.

You also need to find out why she couldn't talk to you about this at the time.  How did it get as far as her leaving you without you finding out anything about these friends and drugs etc...

At the end of the day, you need to follow your heart.  If you have any kind of doubt that you actually want her back, don't take her back because it won't work.  If you do really want her back...  Just talk to her and make sure she's honest.  

Answer 4

If you love her give it another shot, make her earn her way back to you

If it is just for not wasting those years, well, you are still alive without her, there can be better girls out there  

Answer 5

sounds like she wants you as a side lover.  Be supportive and happy of her sobriety,  Do not give her money and give her an NA support group.  Talk to AL-ANON people because you both can have help if she stays sober.