My fiance had me put my wedding ring up for sale because we need $. WHat do you think this means?

Question

My fiance is the type of person that wants a certain amount of money in the bank and I am not talking small amount. we recently hit a bad time as I have to have some surgery and he just wants all this money and I know I am nt working but I do get child support and a good amount. I just dont know what to think is money that important to have your fiance put a ring on her finger then wait a little over a year and have me sell it . He is hardly home and always secretive when it comes to things happening in his family. His family is very close and I mean close. I never have seen a family this tight. They really dont include me in on any discussions and it just really weird for me to tell everything. When I go the family cottage I feel like I am just there so he has someone by his side and they dont really talk to me about anythin. My fiance will come up and say we are doing this or we are doing that without even asking if I want to ???

Answer 1

open your own account and don't put any of your earned or child support money into his account anymore.  

If the ring is on your finger, the ring is yours.

Answer 2

I don't like the fact that he took the ring.  That is not right.  You probably have a very expensive ring because it sounds like money is important to him.  As far as the family, maybe they don't talk to you very much because you haven't put forth an effort to talk to them?  Put yourself out there especially now that you have had surgery you have a topic to talk about.  The family doesn't include you because you are not his wife and they probably have a lot of money and they don't want you to know the "real deal" about how much they have because maybe they think you will be in a relationship with him for all of the wrong reasons.  They are just protecting him.  Don't worry about it.  Just tell him that when he sells this one he has to buy a biggger one the next time.  

I hope you get better soon!

Answer 3

He sounds very rude and unconsiderate.  I would never sell my engagment ring and he should not expect you to.  he does not sound like a catch by any means.  I would move on before it is too late.  Things will not get better with the family after you are married.

Answer 4

well it sounds like he is going to keep doing that for the rest of your lives. Every time you guys end up in need of money he's way out....... selling your jewelry and then your car etc. Tell him to get a job or two jobs if he needs to don't let him sell your RING!

Answer 5

RUN HONEY RUN.  This is a disaster.  You see how his family treats you?  This is not going to get much better.  See how he does not stand up for you?  See how he is so secretive and is hiding/hording his money?  All big bad red flags.  Girlfriend get out while you can.  If you sell that ring for anything it better be a ticket out of this relationship

Answer 6

WHOA! Sounds like a very self centered person. Not good, and how does he treat your child?? If I were you I would put that ring up for sale and get some money and get out of dodge from him! He gave you that ring as a gift, therefore, the ring is yours and yours to decide what to do with it! Good luck!

Answer 7

Your fiance and his family don't sound typical, I'll grant you that.  I'm sure many women have fiances who would rather sell their own blood plasma before making their girls sell their engagement or wedding rings, but he might just see it as a material thing, rather than the symbol of commitment and eternal love that it's supposed to be.  

That said, keep in mind that the whole tradition of a wedding ring started as a way to protect women from financial ruin should anythign happen to their husbands.  The little gold band on their finger (which is all it ever used to be before De Beers got involved) served as a small insurance policy in case times got rough and they were widowed, separated from their husbands in any way, or hit a financial rough patch.  I know that I once tried to pawn my e-ring because my fiance and I were in some dire financial straits due to the mortgage company we both worked for going out of business and leaving us unemployed at the same time.  Luckily, things turned around and I didn't have to put my ring in hock after all (not that it would have brought in much...it's not super ornate) but the point is, I would have done it if it meant we could stay afloat for a little longer before we found new jobs.  Of course, the whole pawning the ring thing was totally my idea, and my fiance was completely against it, so that's why it's kind of weird that your fiance was the one who wanted you to sell it, but maybe he's just a practical kind of guy.

Answer 8

My husband pawned his wedding band just so we could buy a tank of gas to get to work. Sucks being poor :(

Answer 9

Do not do it. That is yours and is supposed to have a lot of sentimental value. What a jerk! Maybe he should do extra work on the side if he wants money that bad. I'm not trying to jump ahead, but this guy seems like he is not going to treat you well and if I were you I'd get out of this before it's too late.

Answer 10

He's a. . . "my way or no way". . . kind of guy!  Forget it!  This kind of relationship is   DOOMED   to failure!  And if you'll put up with this kind of treatment. . .he DOESN'T respect you.

RESPECT YOURSELF and MOVE ON, Darln'!  'Cause it AIN'T going to get any better.  And I'm going to guess that you're NOT going to heed this advice. . .'cause you had to ask for advice on this to begin with. . .and you're GOING to suffer the consequences all naive women like you do!  

HOPING YOU'LL WAKE UP BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE!  Kick him to the curb!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!...

Answer 11

Sell/ pawn the ring, but only for down payment on a new place to live for yourself.

Get out of this relationship now! And use your ring money to get your life back on thr right track.

Answer 12

Give the ring back, end the engagement and MOVE THE HECK OUT NOW!

My guess is that there is illegal activity going on.  That is generally the only reason a family would be that tight.  You do not want to be involved in this.  Get out now. It will not change.

Answer 13

thats very selfish when we had no money with my husband we sold of other things but he not my wedding ring.....dah

Answer 14

He sounds very selfish. Has he put any of HIS items up for sale?

Answer 15

Take your ring and get your hat and hit the road.  Don't look back.

You nor anyone else needs to get crapped on.  Learn to be more independent and go it alone for awhile.  It's really tough and I think you already know what to do and that's it.  You'll be very proud of yourself after you have made it on your on for awhile.

thanks

Answer 16

no doubt your fiance isn't being upfront with you about HIS expenses.

you two aren't married yet, so i'm not quite sure how he is suddenly controlling your bank account. sure, in my family, i am the one that handles the finances. but it's with the understanding that whatever money or income comes to our account belongs to BOTH of us. and we BOTH have a say in where the money goes. trust me, it's hard!

if your fiance is dead set on having a certain amount of money in the bank, then he needs to be contributing to that as much as possible (since presumably he is the only one of you two working right now). if he feels that your ring is the solution to the money issue, then his money troubles probably run far deeper than you know.

someone mentioned opening your own bank account. i think that this is a wise idea. you can tell him about it but he can't access it unless you add him to the account (don't add him).

Answer 17

ok i would never accept that

but you can sell other things that ARE  not really usefull for both of you...

Answer 18

i think he loves money more than you.is not the real love

Answer 19

he sounds very selfish for making you do this, and for not including you in his family. they're about to be your family! a ring is a sentimental thing. my boyfriend and i don't have that much money right now, and i wouldn't even upgrade any time in the future. get your own bank account and handle your own money.

Answer 20

I would be pretty mad if my fiance asked me to sell my ring. However, it might just be because you guys really need a job and it might not mean anything else.

It could be sooo many things. He could not want to marry you anymore. He could need the money. He could be scared.... and so on.

I really hope it's because you guys need the money.

I would tell him, no and that you will find another way to come up with the money!!!

Answer 21

i really really dont think you should. if the guy loves you, he would find another way to get money. also, ask if he can include you more.

Answer 22

I think my husband would sell his soul before he sold the rings he gave me.

Answer 23

That is some Fu*ked up **** you better talk to his @ss