My fiance hung up on me. Again. grrrrr.?

Question

My fiance and I have been together for about a year and a half. We live together, with my two kids and his two. Today was the first day of school. My daughter started 8th grade and my son 4th. I left my daughter a note on the computer this morning that she would find when she got home letting her know to call me and do her chores before she got online. Well, by 4:30 I hadn't heard from her, so I called my fiance. This is the conversation-

me- hey babe, are my kids home?

him- yeah, they've been here a little while, why?

me- well, I left rose a note on the

him- oh I lost it, its gone

me- lost it?

him-yeah, she didnt see it

me- are you sure you didnt just minimize it? when you close it the program asks you if you want to save it

him- babe, its gone. she didnt see it.

me- ok, well is she doing her chores? I had a note on their for aiden too, is he doing his chores?

him- i dunno.

me- (sigh)

him- whats wrong?

me- nothin', i just wanted the kids to call me when they got home so I could ask about their day, I'm fi-

him-jesus fkn christ, click.

He hung up on me. Was I annoyed that the note was "erased"? yes. Was I upset? no. I was annoyed that my daughter didnt call me as soon as she walked in the door, note or no note- or that he didnt think to tell her to call me. For three days all I have heard about was how scared she was about school. I worried about her all day and nobody bothered to call me.

He hangs up on me all the time and it frustrates me so bad. To me it seems disrespectful. He says that he cant stand my tone of voice and would rather hang up on me than say something he will regret. He's one of those that likes to say maybe he should just leave when he gets upset. I feel like i cant express any negative emotion or he shuts me out, either by hanging up on me or saying we should just give up.

How can I get through to him? Is this hanging up a guy thing? It is sooooo annoying!!!

Answer 1

He gets upset a little easy if you ask me.  My husband used to do this and it has taken time, but we talk about things.  I don't accuse or whine about them I just simply talk to him.  I try to point out the good things as well as some things that I don't like to keep him from getting defensive.  I do believe in walking away when you are upset because it is better to calm down before talking.  However, I also believe that people should be talking together.

Answer 2

Honey, I'm sorry but this is bullsh*t.  These are your CHILDREN...You have every right ask they call you to check in.  COME ON...And this rude jerk is going to hang up on you?  This is the man you want to marry?  He's rude, inconsiderate and disrespectful.  Is that what he's teaching your children when you're not there?  Remember, that will rub off on them at some point.  

Answer 3

next time you talk to him hang up on him 1st so he can see how it feels  

Answer 4

No, it's not a guy thing. It's a disrespectful, unloving thing. You need to get some couple's counseling, make plans for someone to move, or be willing to live with an immature, disrespectful man. You deserve better.  

Answer 5

It's disrespectful.  It's a good idea to stop a conversation before it gets ugly, but it sounds like he needs to learn a more mature way to  take a time out...  

Answer 6

Aside from the hanging up..his behavior sounded odd...Make sure your daughter is ok with this guy in your house...why would he erase a note and why would your daughter not call you...Keep a close eye on them...especially if they are alone.