I have lived with my fiance for 2 years (in US), his parents visit twice a year from Thailand and stay for @least 2months at a time. When they come they treat him like he is 5 and can not take care of himself, he lets them because it makes them feel needed. Now that I am in the picture they will not allow me to do anything around the house either. They do all the cleaning, laundry, cooking & dishes. At first I was the new 'outsider' whom they had to get used to. So I have been completely respectful and given them space, always listened to their advice and allowed them to continue their habit of care-taking. They have been very vocal in the fact that "American wives aren't as good as Thai wives' because Thai wives take care of everything in the household and their husbands; and they don't believe Americans can. I have always been very independent; taking care of myself, helping raise my brothers & sisters since I was 12, always taking care of house work, and working a full job since I was 13. I was raised old-faishoned and also believe my place as his wife would be to take care him & our home. According to my fiance I am the exact definition of what a 'Thai wife' is supposed to be like, but that doesn't seem to be good enough for them. After two years they refuse to allow me to take care of my own household as if they don't trust me to do so properly...they constantly make comments when they arrive about how dusty the place is, how my cats have "dirtied-up" the home. Its only clean when they've done a thorough cleaning and rearranged my home. Now they even stepped in to make his lunch every day, they say its to save time in the mornings but oddly I am still having to make MY lunch every single morning-How is that saving time?! What am I supposed to do? Is there anyone who understands the Thai culture who can help give me advice about how to be respectful and make them more confident in me?
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