Question:

My fiance is afraid of s*x, we are both virgins. She's 25 and I'm 26. How to help her?

by  |  earlier

0 LIKES UnLike

We want to wait until we are married, sometime in the next year. She's extremely gorgeous with a great body. We are both pretty fit and athletic. I'm the only guy she's ever dated. We got together 4 years ago when she had just turned 22. I was her first kiss. Kissing passionately is not a problem for us. She does enjoy it and she enjoys physical contact, but she says she is freaked out by the idea of s*x and can't get turned on by the thought of it. She says she would like to love her body first, but she has a hard time with all of it. Especially her v***a. She says the thought of touching it directly has really grossed her out. She has stated that she's looked at her b*****s in the mirror and thought they looked great and it kind of turned her on, but moments like that are rare she says. How can she get more in touch with her sexual side without us actually having to take it farther? She says she wants to get there but doesn't know how because her mind has had this negative view of it all. She says "I'm sorry it's just I picture the idea that hollywood and pornography has put into the heads of people what s*x is and it freaks me out," which she has reason. There have been moments where I've brushed against the chest area and she's been fine with that and enjoyed it, though we are careful not to go there too often. So it's not that she's incapable. No she has not been raped or abused. It's just getting that idea out of her head she's had since high school of the negativity of s*x. So any suggestions would be great. Ppl have suggested she allow me to see her chest area but I'm sure that's a step backwards that would freak her out. It's not the root of the problem. The root is in the mind.

 Tags:

   Report

4 ANSWERS


  1. I think you just need to take it slow so she doesn't feel exposed and vulnerable. Tell her she can trust you and that s*x is not dirty as it is just the two of you exploring each others bodies, and that it is something that is private to you both-you are not judging her but just loving her. touch different parts of her body at different times so she is not overwhelmed just take it slow so she can feel relaxed and calm and ease into it-soon it will feel comfortable and natural!


  2. you guys must get hornnny alot..huh?

  3. if she's too embarrassed to see a Doc about it, the next best thing would be to call Loveline. Dr. Drew is amazing.


  4. I would recommend talking to her doctor, there is a reason for this maybe it would be best you both discussed it with the dr. Good Luck!

Question Stats

Latest activity: earlier.
This question has 4 answers.

BECOME A GUIDE

Share your knowledge and help people by answering questions.