My fiance slapped me today. It was not hard...and I might have provocked it.?

Question

Hi! I am almost 22 and my fiance whom I have loved for almost 3 years slapped me today. He has been really stressed with school and work...and we are in the process of buying a house. I told him that I wanted to talk... but he really did not... I said "You know... I know you are not that kind of guy, but I hate how we have time to have s*x and not talk about what is bothering you" I was feeling sick earlier so I had been winy so he was definitely irritated. The slap was because of what I said...but I never hold anything back from him. It was not hard but it was still a slap. He was only acted abusive once before when we were drank and were in an argument. Please help I love him so much I do not want to leave him...my family loves him and I love his family...but I AM SCARED

Answer 1

I am sorry but if you are scared then maybe you should leave the relationship especially if he's been abusive before. Even drunk or in an argument isn't an excuse for physical abuse like that it will probably get worse. Is there anybody you can talk to about this? Good luck.

Harriet

Answer 2

beat him up and let him know who's boss

Answer 3

this is a sign of an abusive controlling husband in the future, even if you had provoked it, it still is not a good reason for him to slap you by telling the truth in his face, if you really want a happy married life be smarter and leave this b*****d behind, i will not accept that kind of treatment if i were you because him slapping you means he sees you as a lower person, not his equal and if he cannot control this when he is drunk what makes you think life will get better once you marry him , if you just like having s*x and having a companion many men could offer that, there are men who wouldn't slap you at all.

Answer 4

get counseling if you don't want to leave him, but there is no excuse for abusive behavior.

Answer 5

I don't think you're stupid at all for trying to defend him.  What he did was definitely wrong.  There is not an ounce of good in it.  But, if you've loved him for so long, its so hard to not see past that.  When you really truly love someone, you always have things to look past.  but this is different, and could turn into something serious.  People lose their tempers, but to lose it so bad that he would hit you - that IS scary.  I think people are right in saying you need to see how he reacts to it.  Everyone makes mistakes, and maybe he is grieving over what he did.  if he seems truly sorry, I would give him one more chance.  let him know how you feel tho, and that you're scared.  Communication is so important in a relationship.  if he is truly sorry, he wont do it again.  if he does, get out.  and fast.  I can't even imagine how hard it would be for you to leave him, but seriously, thats scary.  he can NOT treat you like that and it could really lead to more pain and sorrow in the future. it would be hard to leave him, but a heck of a lot easier than having to hide yourself and some children from him in the future.  feel it out and do what you know is best.  

Good Luck, and be careful!

Answer 6

just make sure you talk it out with him.

Answer 7

well still i under stand you love him but still you don't slap a women and does he knoe thats know how you treat a lady

Answer 8

i say leave him for a while cuz first its is a slap then who knows what

Answer 9

Being drunk or irritated does not make domestic violence acceptable.  Even though you love him, it may be better for you to distance yourself from him and suggest he look into anger management counseling.  

Answer 10

well ill tell you what i think.. if he slaps you again. i would def. get out of that relationship. cause you don't want it to become a routine. and even if he was stressed that gives him no reason to slap you. and also i would go to get some help from a professional.

Answer 11

There is never a good reason for that. You need to let him know that there are boundaries that he cant cross. You've got to confront him about it. And ONLY in a public place, especially if you're afraid. My sister was in a relationship that got more and more abusive. Until he tried to run her over. Just trust your instincts.

If he won't take you seriously when you tell him to stop then you've got to break it off, or try couples counseling to get through to him.

Answer 12

You need to talk to him and he must apologise for what he has done.

Is never nice for a guy to lay his hands on a lady..

Check it out before it is too late esp. after marriage with children.

Abusive husband is hard to tolerate..

Answer 13

You're stupid! He slapped u and ur making excuses for his a$$! u need to slap the h**l back out  of him and leave his a$$! and if you don't than not only are u stupid but ur weak too!

Answer 14

I was in an abusive relationship for aloong time.  He also used excuses like it was my fault and I had provoked him and if I hadn't then he wouldn't have to hit me - c**p like that.   You know - I don't care how stressed out someone is, they don't have the right beating the h**l out of everyone around them OR slapping those around him!  Buying a house is no excuse. Your being whiny is no excuse.  It will get worse I can guarantee - guys like him wait to be with a vulnerable girl and break down her barriers and seperate her from those she loves. over time he breaks her down until she truly believes that she can't do any better or has nowhere else to go so she has to stay. And you know there is always going to be some excuse - he didn't  mean it, he didn't hurt me this time so its ok, I deserved it because I was rude, he was in a bad mood, I was in a bad mood etc..etc...etc...

BTW don't have kids with him!!! get out now while you are still young!  If you have kids then he will hit them too because if he thought you were irritating - guess what? kids are 10000 X's MORE irritating!!!!!  My ex abused my baby a poor helpless baby and it makes me sick to think I stayed a year with him to be able to do that.  I finally saw the light and left 10 yrs ago and he has never tried to see his son not even once b*****d!

Good luck with whatever you decide. I know you don't want to leave him and you like his family etc.. but you know you don't deserve that!

Answer 15

It will only get worse, slap his a$$ back!

Answer 16

One slap will turn to another, don't take that, do want your marriage to be like that? think about it, its not a good way to live!

Answer 17

dont have to go any further than the question.

no one provokes a slap. leave him,. NOW!

Answer 18

Get rid of him now.  If he does it this time please believe me he will do it again.  Love can be blind, but open your eyes.  Don't let him do this to you, he has no right to lay his hands on you, and you have to right to putting your hands on him.  His true personality is coming out.  DUMP HIM NOW.

Answer 19

he shouldnt have slapped you...

Simple as that.

If he did it once, than next time could be even worse.

you deserve better.

Answer 20

Well I wouldn't let him get drunk again... Talk to him about it. And if you can't then you shouldn't be with someone like that. I know it's hard because you love him, and it's a tough situation to be in. But I wouldn't have married my husband if he ever layed a hand on me. You should pray about it.

Answer 21

he probably acted without thinking and didnt mean to hurt you, you will be able to tell if he is hurting for slapping you if he wants to talk to u about it, and if not you should confront him about it, if he is still abuse you guys can get help or leave him but dont let him take advantage of u because of your physical differences

Answer 22

In my opinion that was one slap too many.  I have been in a verbally abusive relationship and I got out before it was too late.  You obviously need to talk about what happened because there is no reason whatsoever that makes it ok for someone to hit you..  If you don't want to leave him, then I would suggest counseling and do this before you get married.  My husband and I are under a ton of stress right now with basic life situations, but would never think about hitting one another.  To me there is no excuse for this type of behavior.  Good Luck.  

Answer 23

Did you slap his *** back?

Answer 24

I get angry too when i'm stressed and frustrated....but the most i would do to a girl is just slam the table or throw something...even punch thru a wall..

Slap? never....at worst and this is hypothetical "a light shove".

& this is just to a girl in General, nvm my fiance....or GF...

I dunno him, but thats a bad sign of abuse later on...maybe not..maybe so..

Answer 25

just be like "hit me again and im gone..... FOREVER!"

Answer 26

i think at all costs that physical abuse in any form from it's intentions to extremities should not be tolerated or acceptable.

i think you should make that clear.. but after all it was a harmless slap.

but anything more than that? .nah

Answer 27

Leave, there is no excuse for what he did. If he slaps you for that, which believe me as far as arguments in a relationship goes, is nothing really then he's likely to really go off if something serious happens.

Answer 28

who are you trying to convince. He's shown his true colors now you need to get the h**l away from him before one slap turns into a beat down a broken nose rape choking you. stop making excuses and think about yourself tell someone tell everyone.

Answer 29

he shouldnt hit you no matter what the problem is and I would discuss this with him and if this hitting behavior is no big deal to him leave him

Answer 30

There never and excuse for a man to hit a woman.

It won't get better, only worse, so I have to say you should consider your options now.  Once he's done it once, he can do it again, and that might leave you facing a lifetime of uncertainty and living on the edge.

Get out while you still can and there's no kids involved.

Answer 31

You both need a break and some counseling.  Don't buy a house or get married until this is resolved.