My fiance wants to go to a strip club...?

Question

My fiance wants to go to a strip club with his friends and leave me at home. I would like to go (not just to watch him, but to say I've done it, too) but he says he doesn't want to go with me. I don't really approve of him going at all, but he says he'll do it anyway, but he doesn't want me to take a Life Drawing class that uses live nude models... What should we do? I have very low self-esteem and I don't like the idea of knowing that he is out watching other chicks when he wont pay attention to me like that... I know it sounds childish, but that's just the way I am... So again, what do you think we should do?

Answer 1

i think you should let him go. he is your fiance, which means you guys trust each other right? maybe it's just me but i wouldn't have a problem if my guy wanted to go to a strip club

Answer 2

that's not childish he should respect you and the fact that you are uncomfortable with him going to a strip club. Life drawing classes are a good thing, nothing about them is sexual by any mean (I am an art major and have taken a ton of life drawing classes, believe me they're no fun) If he decides to go anyway and doesn't listen to you, take your life drawing class. its only fair

Answer 3

Sounds like he is a very sexual person. Personally I would not consider going to a strip club a good idea for a great marriage.  If you have low- self esteem and feel like he doesn't pay attention to you like that, then you should think twice about marrying him, How do you think he will act when you have babies and your body changes, that last thing you will need is a man going to a strip club. those type of habits really up your chances of being cheated on. By the way I am happily married and love my husband. I don't want you to think I am a bitter ex wife or something.  Good Luck Girl.....

Answer 4

so why are you sill dating this punk? you should tell the same thing. ul do it anyways.  

Answer 5

you have every right to be pissed off... tell him that you have emotions and how he would feel if you go out with the girls and invite a male stripper!

Answer 6

get a man who would prefer to look at you that way. dump him. his eyes should be focused on you.

Answer 7

You strip for him and make him model nude for you; that way, you both win!  

Answer 8

man! dump that prick!! jk but seriously, why would you even waste your time worrying about this type of thing? i mean c'mon who would want to be with a guy who wants to go out and watch other naked girls shaking their asses around ...i think if he really cared about you, he would take your feelings into consideration and act like a mature adult instead of an immature pervert...srry

Answer 9

What is good for the goose, is good for the gander.

Jump up on that stage and dance on that brass pole.

Answer 10

He should be happy he has a fiancee who is open minded and would be willing to go to a strip club with him.  If he's saying he doesn't want you to go, I would be wondering why. And what's with the double standard?  If he's going to a strip club, then you're doing Life Drawing classes, that's all there is to it.

You're not childish, it doesn't sound like he treats you very well and doesn't do much to make you feel good about yourself.  In which case there are better guys out there - are you sure you want to marry someone that won't compromise?

Answer 11

Strip Clubs are disgusting.  You should tell him that if he goes you will take your art class.  You should also tell him that if he goes and likes it you will leave him and hook up with one of the models from your class.  Men that go to strip clubs don't deserve good women.

Answer 12

It doesnt sound like you two are right for each other. My husband does not go to strip clubs without me. I used to dance for a living and I know what some of those girls do. But you need to realize it is natural for a man to look.

As for your man's disapproval of you improving your talent, sounds off to me. My ex wasnt supportive of me going back to school. He didnt want me to do well or feel good about myself so I would continue to rely on him. So I left. Im much happier now:)  

Answer 13

He sounds selfish to me. Personally, I think both of you should hold off what you want to do because there seems to be some lack of trusts going on here. Sorry to say this, but I think he is not being fair with you and you deserve better than that. Good luck to you.

Answer 14

"definitely maybe" rocks!!!!

Answer 15

he may not want you to go because hes going with his friends. this is pretty much a trust issue. do you trust him? not that it really matters. the chance of him hooking up with a stripper are SLIM. and as for the art class...take it. my ex tried to get me to not go back to school for my emt certificate and i went anyway. it was the best thing i ever did for myself. if you want to do something to better yourself, do it. dont let him hold you back.  

Answer 16

tell him how you feel...

tell him you don't think it's fair that he goes to a strip club when you can't take the life drawing class.

explain to him that how he feels about the class is how you feel about him going.

maybe that could change his mind?

good luck! :]

Answer 17

HI, Ok hunny. i do not think that your fiancee is being fair at all. Why would he want to attent something where there are girls shaking their asses in front of him and not you.

I understand wanting to say that you have done something, but this is definitely not a good idea. He should not long for other women to turn him on and for him to not want your company. I know this type of thing pulls at your chest in a jealous way, but if he is being d**k enough to not care about your opinion, one: why are you marrying him and two: you should definitely take that drawing class. My sister likes to draw, so I know that it is not just for your pleasure of seeing naked people, it is most likely a passion that you have for the art. Your fiancee needs to realize that he is being unrealistic and how this could lead to insecurities in the future and possible problems.

I know this is not a fun thing to think about, but best of luck chick and I hope this helped in some way. Guys are hard to understand and sometimes we definitely do not understand them.

Answer 18

You need to understand that men like naked women. It doesnt mean you arent attractive or that he will cheat on you. You have to understand the trust you show him is more important than your insecurities. Men are visual creatures. Its the trust that matters.

Besides, those girls take their clothes off for strangers ..you know what that makes them (not competition)

And who would want a guy who would cheat with a stripper? Really?

Answer 19

Dont put up with that sister! :) Why dont you put a little fun in your relationship.. when he comes home from work you show him he's got all that he needs at home. Go treat yourself and buy some new lingerie and have a great night xo

Answer 20

no way tell him he can save that for your eventual divorce if that is gonna be his additude

Answer 21

Wow, I don't think your fiance is being very fair.When you feel that way you should try talking to him about his and your feelings. I would feel exactly like you are about this situation. If he keeps this up I don't think he is right for you. He would be a Hypocrite if he wont let you take the classes. Do whats right by talking to him.

Hope I helped!  

Answer 22

There's a lot of good answers here. None of us know your situation and why you are with this guy. If you think that he is the best you can get then your wrong, you need to learn to love you first or you'll never be able to love someone in a healthy way.

Low self esteem is bad for any relationship but it is terrible for the person who has it. Most times people take advantage of that and use it to keep you insecure and in a place where they want you to be. Only you can make decisions about your life. If you are in the relationship because you think he's great and the best you can do then realize that there is so much more out there for you. If you are there because you have a child together and you don't think you can make it on your own then think about the example you will be setting for your child if you stay with him.

There is programs for women with children to help them get on their feet...you do not need a man, you should only want a partner who will support you, love you, lift you up, and stand beside you....not one who will tear you down, tell you what you can and cannot do, or one who disregards your feelings.

The very fact that he doesn't want you to go with him tells me that he doesn't trust himself in a room with you and another woman because his actions are not going to be at there best...seriously! Most men would find it a big turn on if their girl wanted to go with them unless they had something to hid. Also, he doesn't want you to take a class because he knows that he is not trustworthy so if he isn't then he thinks you aren't either. Take the class, don't let him dictate who you will be and what you will do with your life.

I know that it hurts to feel jealous and it hurts when we look at our lives and think we just cannot live without the person we love in it. In time all things heal and you are stronger than you think, you  CAN live just fine without someone who only wants to hurt you. Please consider yourself first don't make mistakes based on insecurities and someone elses control over you.

If you still stay after all these messages that tell you to get out now. The best I can tell you is to tell him that going to the strip joint is fine because you and your friends are going to an all male review the same night Or that your girlfriend is having a party with a male stripper there and you will be otherwise occupied anyway. Leave the house that night and go anywhere even if you go see a couple movies, just stay out as late as possible and let him think about what you are up too. Good luck to you hon!

Answer 23

what a fu**head, get rid of him, what idiot would want to look at slu**y s****s when he has the person he is sposed to love at home? i dont get it, cheat on him, what a perverted sicko. LMAO

Answer 24

say" look if you go im taking the class. simple. you don't own me , or control me and if thats how you want it to be WE DON'T NEED TO BE.

Answer 25

I agree. If he really doesn't want you to go, than I think something there is fishy. I think you should go. If you marry him, it should be an equal marriage where you can make your own decision just like he is. Oh yeah, and men who are about to be married probably shouldn't go to strip clubs. You deserve all of his loyalty, and if you aren't getting 100%, he isn't mr. right.

Answer 26

he is your fiance so hopefully you love and care for each other enough to want to be together for the rest of your lives.  it is understandable that he wants to go out with his buddies without you, its part of a healthy relationship. but the fact that he is going to a strip club, not just any old bar and he specifically said that he doesn't want you to come is weird. i think it may be just pressure from all of his single friends. but the fact that he wont let you paint nude models is very hypocritical and it sounds like HE is insecure.

i would say you and your girlfriends should all go out to a strip club and party, just to say you've done it

Answer 27

why do you ask what should "we" do? your man( a poor excuse for a man) already knows what he's gonna do, regardless of your feelings. And when you let it go, he will take it as his ability to do as he pleases when he pleases. You are an idiot if you do not stick up for yourself and demand respect....you had better attend that art class or you may as well kiss your self- respect  goodbye and say hello to a crappy life with an unfair s-head..