My fiance wants to postpone our wedding cus he says he isnt ready?

Question

i feel devasted! what should I do?

Answer 1

Respect his honesty, for one thing. It might however, be the beginning of the end so don't feel 'utterly' devastated just yet.

Examine your motives and wonder if you are sad that you will have to stop planning for the big day.

I've been utterly devasated three times but I'm still happy.

Answer 2

kill your fiance

Answer 3

Dump him and move on, life is not a rehearsal

Answer 4

move on

Answer 5

Talk to him and ask him why he isn't ready. Maybe he is getting scared. Getting married is a big step for anyone and if he is really having doubts then maybe it is best to postpone it for a while.

Answer 6

Danger zone, move on girl he is not ready nor ever will be.

Answer 7

This must be so hard for you. Best thing I can recommend is to get some joint pre-marital counseling.

It's natural to be nervous about such a big life change, but to postpone the wedding... something bigger is going on inside his head. Get some pre-marital counseling. It may be a big case of the nerves, or it may be something else. Either way, a little bit of counseling should bring it out in the open soon enough.

If he won't go, back away. Don't try to force or guilt him into marriage or you'll likely be looking for a divorce attorney in the future. Give him some space and let him miss you. If he wants to marry you, he will come running back. If he doesn't he'll just slip away and then you'll really know that this wasn't the one.

I know this must be hard, but it's really better to get this sort of thing worked out before you walk down the aisle. Then you can know for sure this is right, or you'll know for sure that he wasn't the "one" just yet.

Hope this helps!

Answer 8

Then why in the h**l did he propose?

I would seriously lose faith in my mister, if he did something like that to me, so I would consider moving on. You deserve someone who will stand by you, someone far more mature.

Answer 9

dont feel devasted . he says he is not ready at least he admits it at least he is notgoing to get married to you and treat you bad then your marriage end in divorce like so many people today. give him time to work on things and im sure there are things you have to work on to before you become Mrs. ........ so just work with each other. and he is postponing the wedding not your relationship so its not the end .

Answer 10

Wait for him, its a big commitment for anyone to make and just because hes not ready rite now dosnt mean he dosnt want to marry you. Maybe you should try talking to him instead of asking what to do about it on an internet site...

Answer 11

Not much u can do, dont force him to marry u

Answer 12

Well if your Devastated I certainly understand that.

This tells me that you are ready but he is not. It would be nice to maybe have some more information but I can only go with what you described so here is my point of view on that

If someone asks you to marry you they are asking for a mutual commitment. It is a very serious choice to make and the biggest and most important decision in ones life.

If they were not 100% in the first place they should not have asked you and wasted your time. It's incredibly disrespectful  of him to tell you he isn't ready! He obviously took it too casually in the first place.

I am sure that you must love him to have agreed, but Lady, demand respect. This guy does not sound as though he has integrity. Find out more if you can and make a decision whether you wish to continue or not. If you do, give the guy an ultimatum. Don't compromise on wasting more time if it will only devestate you more. Be brave. I wish you luck.

Answer 13

If you truly love him then you will wait for him. Talk to him about it...

Answer 14

I think you should think about him and a this whole future because just because he decides to go through with it doesnt mean you guys are going to be married forever.. and then you are going to be more devastated when you have to tell the family after they all went to the wedding and start looking up divorce attorneys!!!!!! If he isnt ready EVERYTHIN Happens for a reason!!! just live your life, stay positive, and be hopeful for the future with him or without him.

Answer 15

Is he 25 or under? In that case, I can understand his need to wait. If he is older than 25, what I think you have on your hands is  immaturity OR he's thinking it is greener on the other side of the fence.  Up to you, but if you've been together a long time and he still says he isn't ready, chances are he doesn't really want to marry you.

Answer 16

i wouldn't force him to marry you if he is telling you he isn't ready.just ask him why he feels that way and then give him his space.if you love him then just leave it alone and give him about 3-6 months and see if he says anything and if he doesn't then you need to have a talk with him and just let him know that you would like to get married and if he doesn't want that then that's ok but you need to move ahead with your life.

Answer 17

For one thing, he's only asking to _postpone_ the wedding, not to end the relationship. I really don't think that the answer is to dump him and "move on." It's very possible that he felt that he was ready when he asked you, and then he got overwhelmed. I'd try to avoid resenting or blaming him, and instead be grateful that he brought it up before you got to the church.

Try working with him, why doesn't he feel ready? Does he feel like he needs to have met some certain criteria before getting married? Does he want to have more savings in place in order to buy a house? Does he want a better job so he can take care of you? Work with him, find out what's holding him back, then enjoy knowing that everything's out on the table.

Answer 18

Listen to him, believe what he said, and then decide if you want to wait around or if you have had enough.  If he does not feel he is ready for marriage it would be a huge mistake for him to go through with the wedding.  The two of you would not have been happy and the marriage most likely would have ended.  This way if you chose to stay with him, you will have a much better chance at marrage when he is ready for it.

Remember the choice is now yours if you want to stay or yu want to leave.  Follow your own heart.

Answer 19

If he wasn't ready, he wouldn't have proposed

Answer 20

He's having "cold feet."  Either hang around and hope he changes his mind or move on.  Hoping he changes his mind seems a very unattractive option to me.

Answer 21

what reason did he give for not being ready? Not ready for what, the commitment to you, the wedding itself? Is he worried about something. You are bound to feel devistated, but try to find out what the cause of him saying this may be.

Answer 22

WHat! why did he propose then? I would tell him if he does not want to marry me now then he does not get to. He should have decided if he was ready before he asked you and you told your family and got your hopes up...its just mean and inconsiderate.

Answer 23

I know you are hurt, but it is better to know now, than after you are married.

Give him some time, to sort things out.