My fiancee is keeping in touch with her ex fiancee. They lived together for 3 years.?

Question

We have been in relationship for over 3 months now, things have been great since bigining, and we decided to move on and get married in 6 months. She lives in OC , me in LA. So we see each other only on the weekends. Recently i find out that she is comunicating by email with her ex fiancee, probably text messagint to, and despite all the bad things she "told me" about him, now she is getting ready to go out to a dinner with him??? Dinner could possibly turn to a motel event. I dont understand. Risking us for a night event with him, or maybe she want to go back to him? I am in dispair, I am going to loose my job and I dont get any sleep because of it. Is her past relationship so strong (because obviously dating 3 years, people get to know each others buttons) to trow away my love and go back to that looser? I trying to talk to her (not telling her what I discovered) but she denying any possible infidelity on her side, because she is very commited to our relationship. I am not sure about it, she ignores my communication and dont want to talk about it, "acussing me" that I dont trust her. I realy love her, and dont want to loose her, and I already notice taht I am doing the wrong things. Jelousy cloud is over me. Do you have advice for me.

Thanks

Answer 1

Maybe you should wait a little longer to get married.  You should talk to her about it, and you might even have to tell her everything you found out, but it will save your soon to be marriage, and if it doesn't then she obviously wasn't worth it.  You need to talk this through with her, and express your concern (which you have every right to feel).

Good Luck and don't allow her to walk all over you, you need to bring this up.. if you allow her to get away with this and continue on to marry her, she will do it for many years to come!

EDIT: I agree with ninth_lady ..she is allowed to be freinds with him,  but I still think you should bring it up, she cant be keeping it a secret!

Answer 2

face it you've only been together for 3 months and only see each other every other weekend. You obviously fell for her pretty quickly and shes still in love with her ex.

Answer 3

She has not moved on. If you want to marry her make the engagement very long. She might not be the girl for you. Good Luck!

Answer 4

if she leaves you for him she was never yours to begin with

Answer 5

They were together for three years, so one might hope that during that time they developed a friendship.  Things might have gone sour romantically in their relationship, however that does not mean that they cannot be friends.  

If being with you has brought her to a better position in her life, she might be looking to repair some of her past wounds by reconnecting with her ex to clear the air between them.  Going to dinner does not mean they are going to sleep together.  Emails and texts do not mean there is anything "more" between them.

You are being jealous and possessive.  If you love her then give her some trust.  Also, if you are constantly bombarding her with your preoccupation of her being unfaithful, then it's little wonder she would want to talk to you about it if you are never willing to believe her.  

Answer 6

Your Fiancee is not ready for marriage.  An engagment is a length of time for a couple to prepare for marriage.  Imagine a married women have dinner or "going out on a date"?  It's not going to or suppose to happen.  On the reverse side, would it be okay for you to go out to dinner with your ex?  (Tell her that and I bet she will have a cow!)  She is putting the relationship in serious risk for her ex and you should evaluate her "sincerity and intension" with you.

Answer 7

Your concern is LEGIT!  She's proving that she's untrustworthy even before you get married!  Can you imagine how she'd be after you're married.  Drop her...let her talk to her ex!  She's inappropriate and uncaring about how this is making you feel.  If you were going to dinner with your ex and communicating with her, your fiance would not be impressed.  

Get rid of her and find someone respectable.  Sorry, but it will only get worse.  She's proven herself to you already.  Best of luck in finding YOUR match.

Answer 8

Red flag!  She still has feelings for her ex!  Why would you get engaged after only 3 mos, then set a date for in 6 mos?!  That's moving too fast.  What's the big rush?  You need to postpone the wedding for a later date.  You hardly spend enough time together to really know each other.  And since she just came out of a long term relationship she may not know what she really wants.  You can still date her if you want, but take it slow.  

Answer 9

You need to put a stop to it right now. If she is still in touch with her ex-fiancee, emailing him, and going to dinner with him, this spells serious trouble for your relationship.

She is not committing to you. You need to tell her to choose either him or yourself. In this case there is no in between. If she loves you, the choice should be easy. If she is playing both sides, she'll refuse to do it and you'll be better off without her.

Find someone else who will be faithful to you. I know how it is to be in love with someone and be betrayed by them. I went through a similar situation and it still haunts me 25 years later. But for the past 23 years I've been happily married to someone else and though it's still hard to put the other girl out of my mind, I wouldn't trade my wife for her ever.

Obviously your "fiancee" isn't willing to give you that kind of commitment.