My fiancee is still in love with his previous girl friend after engagement?

Question

We have been engagaged for few months now and planned to marry in a couple of months. But he recently told me he was in love with someone else and he is not able to forget her till now.But he says he will come out of this as time passes.Because of some religion differences in India he cannot marry her.

Should I call off my engagement?What are the chances that he will forget her after marriage.

Answer 1

Yes...And the ironic thing is that he told you...that means he expects you to "understand" if he acts depressed or watever after you wedding perhaps???...I would never be able to even THINK of marrying someone who didn't love me.

good Luck!

Answer 2

if there's still sum more time for ur wedding.. thn giv him some time to come out... tht is if u really like him..!

& if u dont confide in him as well as urself thn call off immediately widout wasting any more time...

let ur parents kno all abt it only if at all u'r planning to call it off..!!

all the best.. tc..!

Answer 3

You need to give it more time babes...I am sure things will work out... You can't force someone to fall in love. Doesn't work that way.

Answer 4

Leave him as soon as possible double minded person is never succeeds in his life today if he leave her for you then tomorrow leave you for some one else

Answer 5

I would at least suspend the date for the wedding.  You need to figure things out...specifically him.  You guys need to talk about things.  I am getting married in 3 months and if my fiance told me that he would still be mine after the words came out of his mouth.

Answer 6

Twenty three years ago I married a man that I thought I was in love with.  Within months of the marriage I ran into an ex-boyfriend and all the emotions surfaced on how I still loved the ex.  I never confessed to my husband nor did he ever mention the ex-boyfriend.  It was hard for about a year,  but I grew to love the man I married more than I ever believed I would.  He died 5 yrs ago and if he walked into my life today, I would never let him go!

You have some soul searching to do and questions you need to ask yourself is....would you love this man no matter how he felt?  Would he be kind and not abusive to you?  

I suggest you consider postponing the wedding for a two years....you may find that there's someone waiting for you that does love you with all his heart and soul.  The other thing to consider is "he" having cold feet and using the India girl as a excuse....he may be confussed about her just as he is confused about asking you to marry him.  Good Luck and I wish you well.

Answer 7

I doubt his feelings will ever go away.  Seriously, he is supposed to be focused on you...you are engaged for crying out loud!  ...and then he goes and tells you something like that.  I would ditch him.  You deserve someone that is going to love you fully.

Answer 8

Honey if you're gonna marry a man, he should be 100% yours and giving you all of himself, but how can he if he loves someone else? Breaking it off could be the best thing for you, and maybe see what happens in the long run.

Good luck!

Answer 9

There is little chance that he'll completely forget her, I'm sorry. When you're told that you can't have what you most desire, it's hard to make yourself forget that want. Is he also in love with you, and are you in love with him? It's possible to overcome this, if there is love, but it won't be the same exact thing he felt for her. Love doesn't always have to be the crazy-out-of-your-mind kind. It can be the I'd-enjoy-making-a-home and growing-old-with-you kind.

Calling off your engagement? That's a call only you can make.

Answer 10

If it is possible n u don't have any problem then try to convince him to convince his parent to marry with her ex girlfriend other it is natural that he will forget this with time but the thing is u know about his past life so it will hurt u forever.

Answer 11

Sirens sounding!

Call it off now!

Do not marry someone who admits they are in love with someone else who says they may "come out of this as time passes".

Do you really want to spend your life with someone who wishes you were someone else?

You deserve better!

What are the chances?  That's hard to say.  Since he told you he's not able to marry her due to some custom or something, that means they didn't actually break up, and potentially both still love each other.  That makes it harder to just forget and move on, compared to if she had dumped him.  I'd say there's a good chance he will pine for her for a long time.  That doesn't necessarily mean he'll be a bad husband, but don't you want to marry someone who is passionately in love WITH YOU?!

Answer 12

Gosh shikha ur crazy or what?? poor guy told u abt his past n thats how u wnna go abt it?? its obvious that he is taking time to forget the past and dear, when u fall in love with someone its nt that easy to forget them completely... so get over it..once he is urs ..he is urs...not going anywhere... ok??

And be happy that ur getting an honest person in life...not someone who hides frm u...

and someone who can tell u abt his love life....will be a real sweetheart for u ....mark my words.. shikha.. thats how u become real cool and close friends..and partners need to b friends...thats how u find the comfort zone in a relationship.

Wish u all the best....

Answer 13

The chances that he'll forget her are... one percent (out of 100).  Yes, you should call off your engagement.  You should not be anyone's "second best."  Eventually he will move on, but not until he has many many years alone to grieve.

Answer 14

I dont think you should marry him, because if he's not fully committed to you then how do you know he'll be fully committed to you when you're actually married.. i think you should think it over

Answer 15

Getting married is not a cure for relationship problems, if anything it's just going to amplify all of them.  When you put a ring on his finger it's not going to be a magical item that makes him fall in love with you and only you.  If he truly loved you he couldn't be in love with someone else.  It sounds like he told you that because he doesn't want to hurt you but wants you to know he would rather be with someone else in hopes of you ending it.  I would ask youself some honest questions, starting with why you feel like you are not good enough to be with someone who loves you and only you?

Answer 16

I'd call it off.  You want someone who loves you for you and no one else.  The right guy is out there.  Maybe it will be him, but at the very least, you should POSTPONE for a while until you work things out.

Answer 17

dear friend,don't worry,life me kabhi-kabhi aisi situation aati hai,i advise you that you should wait 4 ur engagement.pass more & more time wih ur partner.

Answer 18

Whoa. I hate to say this, but he is telling you loud and clear that he is not really ready.

A man that is ready to marry you is not thinking about his ex girlfriend.

Take this from someone who has been there. My ex got married last weekend, and right before he emailed me telling me that he loved me. Very uncomfortable! I can imagine how his new wife would react if she found out that she was the second choice.

Don't be someone's second choice. You deserve to be first!

Answer 19

Firstly, if he was really in love, he should have somehow covinced his parents. His ex should have also convinced her parents.

Secondly, he shouldn't have agreed for this engagement.

Thirdly, talk to him, if u have a confidence that he will get over his ex den go ahead with your marriage. If not, call it off!!!

But remember after he gets over his ex, make sure he falls in love with you!! All de best!

Answer 20

the best way is to talk to ur mom or dad(who ever is more close to u) & ask them that what should be the next step...

try to get all the info. from ur fiance abt their relationship and see that whether there r chances for ur man to make up with that woman again....ask him that what is the guarantee that he won't go to that woman again...observe him and his replies, and then judge what to do next....see, the fact is that ur fiance won't ever forget that gal cozz love of life can't b forgotten, but still he can love u even more than her....u clear it to him that u can not withstand any problem related to these issues in later years...cozz its not feasible to tolerate it....donot marry him till the time u become sure abt him

Answer 21

If he has feelings for someone else. don't get married until he's over her.  He will never forget her though.

Answer 22

girl please! Fiancee why are you even saying that word. This is a dead conversation you should have been gone. Bullshit thats a religion thing. He's running game you marry him then he gonna cheat on you sorry just my honest opinion.

Answer 23

Be submissive and never let go a chance to be in bed with him. Do everything that he would want you to do. Always keep him happy. That will make him forget her.

Answer 24

i think you should postpone the wedding.. easier said than done, i know, but there is no garuntee that a couple of months will be enough for your fiance to get over his ex.. that really sucks but at least he's honest with you.. good luck with whatever you do!

Answer 25

I believe men are not as complicated,as we women think... I am sure with time understanding and love will develop, he will surely forget her and focus on a beautiful future with you...Maby she will remain his old flam but I doubt he will ever contact her or she will ever come in-between you guys... So,try to forget the past and think of a beautiful future together,because a good marriage is build on truest,understanding,respect THAT follows with love hopefully,rest is your choice,best of luck!!!

Answer 26

I don't think that you should marry him until you know for sure that he loves only you and that his feelings for this girl is really over. I think that you need to talk to him and make sure before you get married.

Answer 27

tell him if heluvs her you have to call it off.you cnt marry some1 that doesnt give you all the love they have, theres no roomfor 2 gf's in his life. he needs 2 choose. good luck!!

Answer 28

I can suggest you one thing that pls. contact with Mrs. Soniya at [e-mail] and if possible Chat with her. As per my knowledge is concerned, she will solve your every problem as other's.

Answer 29

Ouch. Why would he tell you that? Maybe just to hurt you? And even worse why would he still feel that way? He should love you and ONLY you. I would call it off

Answer 30

I would definitely take things back a bit and probably call of the engagement.

If you too are engaged then you should be his world and no one else.  I think ignoring  this, or moving forward with the relationship could lead to disaster later on, the only reason he isn't with this girl and is with you is because of a religious difference?

Get out and find yourself someone who really cares about you and only you.

Answer 31

I would call it off.  That's too big of a commitment to make with someone who admitted he loves someone else.