Question:

My fiancee thinks he has HIV, why is he making the situation worse then it really is?!?

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The man I've been madly in love with for 5 years now told me last week that he cheated on me recently. I know I can forgive him and want to move on with our relationship. The thought of him cheating is very hard on me and he gave me some much needed space this past week. But, ever since I began showing signs of acceptance, all I hear about is how he thinks he has symptoms of HIV. He's already been tested for other STDs which all showed negative. By the sound of the woman he had a one night stand with, I highly doubt that she is infected with HIV especially since she didn't give him any other STD. I am really trying to come to terms with the reality of the situation and thought I was handling it very well. Instead of giving me credit for that, he is creating a much larger mess. Is he doing this to sabotage my trying to keep our relationship together or because he can't cope with the guilt that he feels, or is he really experiencing anxiety associated with the risks of having unprotected s*x with a stranger? I feel he should keep that anxiety to himself since he was the one that screwed up. I'm sick of suffering for his mistake and am looking for some guidance or thoughts about the situation. What do you think he's thinking!?

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3 ANSWERS


  1. Geez.  This is a tough situation, and I feel for you.  Why does he think he has HIV?  Did he find out the girl has it or is a rumor going around?  What are his symptoms and has he consulted with a doctor about it?  Girl, I seriously suggest that you take all the precautions available to protect you; obviously he wasn't worried about it.  I think he should consult with a doctor ASAP.  And, depending on the situation and what has occurred since, maybe you should too.  But seriously, how recent was it?  Don't those things take a few months to start showing symptoms (although I'm not a doctor so I could be wrong).  Protect yourself though!!!!


  2. Honestly, if he says he think he has HIV, then take his word for it.  Even if he is trying to break you guys up, let him. If he was stupid enough to have unprotected s*x with a stranger while dating you then #1: He's not worth your time and #2 He could give you a bad disease if he keeps his cheating up.

    Save yourself now and go and find a trustworthy man.

    I'm very sorry for you situation, but things will get better if you leave him.

  3. He is probably just freaking out or trying to make you freak out and leave hime so he can go back to his nasty ways..

    HIV does not show symptoms that quick..

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