My fiances ex is trying to give up his 5m old son for adoption?

Question

He wants his son but she doesnt think thats whats best for the baby.She is very young and just wants to make it so she never has to come in contact with my fiance again, and she thinks this is the easiest way to do that. He is currently serving a 3 month sentance in county jail for not paying a probation fine. He is a good father to my 1 year old and would very much like his son. How can he contest to the adoption while in jail? He is not on the birthcertificate but he is willing to prove paternity. How does he start a paternity process from jail? Or who can call for advice?

Answer 1

I think with PFR one has to sign up before the baby is even born or shortly after the birth. This baby is already 5months old so doing a PFR might be  too late in this case. He will need to check with his state to see if they even have PFR and what the policies are for that state.

He will need to contact an attorney how he will do that from jail I don’t know. He also best be on his best behavior in the big house, be a model prisoner.  The courts will rule in the best interest of the child. I wouldn’t lie that being in lock up could hurt, the courts will want to look at why he ended up there and any wrong doings he has done in the past.

The courts will probably question why he has waited this long to establish paternity when the baby is 5  months old. As well as probably ask if he has  been an activate parent in the child’s life up until he was incarcerated. Did he attempted to provide the baby with things , clothes , diapers. Did he help contribute to the mothers medical bills while the child was in utero.

Answer 2

maybe it would be better off for the baby to be adopted. i mean maybe he'll get some parents who aren't in jail. the girl probably just wants whats best for the kid, and the kid could end up with a real nice loving family who will give him much better opportunities.

Answer 3

He needs to call a lawyer (or you need to for him, to get it started). If you can't afford a lawyer, check with your states department of child services. I adopted my nephew, you wouldn't believe how much work it is. I don't think she can adopt out the baby without permission from the father, although paternity may have to be determined (although, the department of child services can help with that!). Any adoption she is doing, whether it's through the state or private, the state is involved, it's their judge who signs off on the final paperwork, and they will not adopt out a child to anyone unless the parents are unfit (and trust me, they help out with classes and training to help the unfit become fit) or the parents want to adopt out the baby. My adopted son's "birth parents" are homeless drug addicts and WANTED us to adopt the baby and it STILL took 2 years and 9 months to finalize, don't worry, you have more time than you think. Your fiance will LONG be out of jail before anything is written in stone. If you need help finding child services, go to your local welfare department, usually it's the same building, get your fiance a case worker, a paternity test, and prepare for child welfare services to come over for an inspection.

Good luck, hope this helps.

And people, who are we to judge if he's going to be a good father or not? Just because he's in jail, doesn't give us the right to judge, she's asking for help, not to be judged, he's trying to do the right thing and as much as we complain about fathers not stepping up, we need to applaud his choice here and hope others follow!

Answer 4

He needs to consult a lawyer.  Legally, she can not place the child for adoption with this consent, and if he wants custody then most of the time he would get it.

The lawyer can file a motion in family court for a paternity test and for him to be added to the birth certificate.  Know that it makes him responsible for child support if she chooses to keep the child and retains custody.

Also know that a judge will determine what is best for the child, taking into consideration what he did in the past to end up on probation, and the fact that he did not responsibly carry out the terms of his probation (fine), etc.  The judge may terminate his parental rights so that the adoption can go through. Your fiance can try, though.

Answer 5

i no it might be hard but i would say from the info that you gave the it would be best if the parents adopted him but i don't know every thing.

If the parents do decided to adopt please tell them to keep in touch.When the child becomes older it is important for it to know that it was still loved by the b-parents. trust me it makes a difference!

Answer 6

Dear Addicted,

Your man needs to GET IT TOGETHER and FAST!!

He MUST be able to demonstrate to a Judge his SINCERE and DILLIGENT efforts to be a father to his son. Father's often get the short end of the stick when it comes to Family Court. He will need to be calm, educated, strong and persistant if he wants to win custody of his child. (He CAN prevent an adoption as long as he is not proven to be unfit.)

Here is a list of things he can do:

-He needs to establish paternity as soon as possible. He can sign an affidavid of paternity to start.

-He will need to gather and show any evidence he has as to any previous visits, child support, reciepts for gifts, supplies, etc. he has.

-He will need to file a motion for custody (these forms should be downloadable from at least one of the state's/county's court websites or can be picked up at the Clerk of Court's office) in the county WHERE THE CHILD RESIDES.

-He will need to be able to show that he is a capeable parent, IE be substance free, have a reliable source of income, be able to show responsibility, etc.

-He should gather witnesses and evidence showing his character and parenting ability. (IE, complete a parenting class, get statements from trustworthy people about his experiences with children/responsibility, etc.)

-He should contact a Father's Rights Group for support and resources (Fathers for Justice and Fathers Supporting Fathers are both great organizations)

-He can contact an attorney who specializes in Father's Rights and/or Family Law

This is by no means a complete list of the things he can do. You can help him with many of these things, even while he is serving his time.

Good luck to you all!

Answer 7

I bet that the child being 5 months she's just having stress with raising a baby alone. But if he wants his child there are steps but he needs to start fast. After 6 months of knowing you have a child and you don't support the child then the child can be adopted. File the putative father's registry and talk to a lawyer in jail ask for his family to help to.

   There can be a long fight so he needs to get his life straight for this child. Stop putting his self in places that will have him in Jail No Child needs to visit good old dad in jail.

  My son has been fighting for his son for 3 years and I can't tell you when the last time he dated or went out. I told him from the beginning I would try to help him but if he's not going to live the life a child has a right to then let the child go. I'm to old to raise a child. I'll help but not raise unless the die.

   Good luck in what your boyfriend decides to do but make sure that he wants this 18 t conmendmint

Answer 8

Hello there,

He needs to find out if there is a putative father registry in his state. If there is, he needs to sign up with it...today! He needs to find a way to fill out a voluntary establishment of paternity form ASAP. If the mother does not cooperate, the courts will order a DNA test. If he has a job in jail, he needs to send the woman money, certified return reciept, to prove he will accept responsibility. It's going to be a lot harder to do because he's in jail, but you can help him out. Go to the court house for him and pick up the form. He can fill it out and you can turn it in. Same goes for the putative father registry.

If he acts now, before the baby is given up, he has a much better chance at getting custody of his son or at the very least, making sure the adoption doesn't happen.

I'm sorry that he's going through this and  wish that people would open their eyes to what's happening around them everyday so that it can be changed.

If you tell me the state, I can better look up the specific laws surrounding it.

Good Luck

ETA: To all those people who are saying he should let his child be adopted because he's in jail, don't judge. For all you know, he could be on probation for something as small as petty theft. Would you think it to be okay for someone to take away your child because of a past mistake. I don't care what anyone says, everyone has broken the law from time to time, even if it's as simple as going over the speed limit. Unless he is a physica risk to the child, he deserves the chance to raise him.