My fiancé is baptizing a kid with another girl and I'm super angry.. Who is right? HELP?

Question

My fiance's brother and his wife decided to ask me and my boyfriend to baptize their kid. But because I haven't done my first communion or confirmation, I told them we couldn't. She said it was fine that she would ask her engaged cousin. So I assumed she was going to ask her cousin and her fiancé. Turns out she asked her cousin and kept my fiancé's name and signed them up at the church. After I confronted her she said "oops I thought you understood". I was pissed but after she told me don't worry she's engaged, I told my fiancé to do it but I didn't want to hear anything more about this because she didn't even ask me first if it was ok. Now I found out the cousin has a crush on my fiancé and my fiancé's sister in law knew it. & the girl isnt even engaged! I told him 2 tell them he's not doin it n he told me he's not going to do that. I'm so angry that I was lied to and my fiancé wud agree 2 do dis. He thinks I'm over reacting. If he does this w/o carin bout me, should I even marry him?

Answer 1

Ok, im confused. Why are any of you baptizing a child? Shouldn't that be something a preist does? For that matter children don't know right from wrong at that age anyway so baptism is merely a show for the parents, not an act for the child. Regardless, if this is a belief that you have then I guess I will try to answer as if it makes sense to me at all. I wouldn't be upset with your fiance. He probably just felt guilty and said ok.

Answer 2

i think it will be okay.  he does care about you but its his brothers kid.  its his nephew.  blood.  

he doesnt care about this girl im sure and you will be there.  they arent going out on a date or a double date with them, its in a church and he never has to be around her again after this.  i understand you being upset and i dont think u overreacted about being lied to or about her wanting him.  just be extra lovey with him around her and let her see how devoted he is to you and how devoted you are to him and his family, its not the babys fault.  :)

good luck

Answer 3

sounds like there is alot of jealously going on.My God let the child be baptized and be happy for the family

Answer 4

When it comes to religion today, most ppl pick what they like and throw the parts they don't like out the door, so much for being religious.

   What god parents do, is make sure the child gets their religious training if anything should happens to the parents. Nor does it have anything to do with adopting or raising them, that has always gone to the next of kin or the person named in a will. If the child lived with ppl who were seeing to that, then you'd still "be left out in the cold", so to speak.  And yes, religiously, the god parents had to be married under the same religion and had their full religious training.

    These days, god parent's are all "show and tell, it means "0", because i would bet the parents don't even go to church regularly, so why the he*l would a child need god parents, if the parents can't be bothered setting the example and i'm not talking about running to church every xmas and easter (after the bunny comes of course), the only times of the year the churches are full.

    You are over re acting, you should be glad your not part of the farce.

     Just the fact that, "NO" religious event should start with a lies !!!  Now, do you see the farce ???  Do you really want to be part of that!!

      Don't worry about the other woman, there's no compatition, your man's yours, trust me.

Answer 5

I think I understand what you're saying, But you just have t trust your fiance. There's no point in not trusting him unless he's done something to make you feel otherwise. Obviously this guy is in love with you, I mean he asked you to marry him. Give him a little credit.

Answer 6

The whole thing isn't about you.  

Maybe she wants her brother in law as godfather and cousin as godmother.

You sound incredibly insecure.  It's a baptism for goodness sake, your fiance isn't marrying the cousin....

Answer 7

I know you're angry, but remember it's about the child being baptized, not about you, or about your fiance and this other woman. If you trust him, then what's the big deal? If you don't trust him enough, then you shouldn't be marrying. He's not cheating on you, he's just helping to baptize a child.

Answer 8

Sounds to me like you are making a mountain out of a molehill.  It is a public ceremony, nothing more.  Just go along with him to the baptism and be gracious.  He will admire you a lot more than if you act like a "you-know-what".

Answer 9

How is that going to work??? She should really pick a couple that is married.  \

If you want to use this as an excuse to break up you can.

Answer 10

Do you mean he's the godfather and this other girl is the godmother?  If that's the case then that is perfectly normal.  The godmother and godfather don't have to ever see each other again after the baptism so there's nothing to worry about.

Answer 11

you are right!!!!!!! this is a very important step and should be respected by all, meaning it should be holy.

Answer 12

I dont get the story. anyway how can you hv a fiance and a bf at the same time lol

Answer 13

So what is keeping you from doing your first communion/confirmation?  Honestly, it's just a baby baptizing.  It's not like it's YOUR kid.  I understand why you're mad though.  I'd be pissed at the cousin for setting them up like that!

However, if you cannot trust your fiance to not cheat on you IN CHURCH then I would DEFINITELY NOT get married!!!!!   I think you guys have a lot of thinking to do before you get married.  How long had you been dating beforehand anyway?