My first Sonnet poem. Honest critique please?

Question

Sonnet: Eternal Love By Tia Metcher

Eternal love Sonnet

Softly the heavens fill the oceans grille,

Tenderly caressing, brushed with fine line.

Canvas painted in g*y sunflower smile,

Scattered rose petals and glistening wine.

Twinkling eyes gazing, while eyes transfixed,

Strawberry kisses in tango twist swirl.

Beneath mistletoe, lips softly affixed,

Perform our Svelte, Convolution dance twirl,

Fused together as flame of passion burn,

Our ardent love smothered in vibrant pink,

When separated, together we’ll yearn,

Our novel written, indelible ink

Swiftly we waltz, through the journey of life,

Forever bounded as husband and wife.

Answer 1

it's quite good. keep up the good work.

Answer 2

It's REALLY good. I wish I could write that well. One thing: in the last line, maybe "binded" would be better than "bounded".

Answer 3

Very mushy and emotional.  Unfortunately does not flow well in my opinion.  Never have been a big fan of "A B A B"

Answer 4

i like it its pretty.

Answer 5

14 lines and a rhyming cuplet at the end good but ur rhythm needs a bit of work

Answer 6

A good effort. Meter seems off in places.  S2L1 has but 9 beats as I count.  Word choices on vibrant pink and bounded were distracting for me.  Grille and smile for end rhymes?

Answer 7

it's better than anything I could hope to write, and well above standards you may read in a book etc. Excellent!

Like the ending too