My first love keeps contacting me.. even though we are both in relationships with other people and have kids?

Question

We met when I was 19 and he was 18 we were together for 6 months and then I dumped him. I regretted it but never told him. 6 months later he started contacting me, we met up but it didnt go any where. He still kept calling and texting me for about 18months and then I met someone else so I threw my phone away because I knew he would keep contacting me. The someone else lasted 3 years and when I became single again he called out of the blew, got my number from a mutual friend he told me he had a baby on the way, I felt gutted but happy for him at the same time. Im now 28 in a relationship of 4 years and have a little girl, and very happy. But he found me again, when I asked him why he keeps contacting me he said "because I love you" we've been flirting loads by text and have since met up and ended up kissing and cuddling, I wanted to make love but held back because I knew I would feel guilty to my boyf. I can't stop thinking about him, he texts late at night saying he thinking about me?

Answer 1

Why would you s***w up the relationship with your daughters father. Stay away from this family breaking up loser. Also you aren't helping things by wanting to have s*x with him. You might be 28 but your acting like a gitty teenager . Grow up.

Answer 2

This is a tough situation. I wouldnt ruin what I have for the past... especially b/c he has a baby on the way. If its meant to be it will be. Be very careful

Answer 3

Maybe he truly does love you, which is a great feeling that blinds a lot of people from the truth. However, from what you say his behavior is very irratic and unpredictable which is never a good sign in a lover, If you choose to pursue this you defenitely should talk to your boyfriend first. Take it from me I'm a man, and men whether they get mad or not,  prefer to be told the truth by their lover in the beggining than find out themselves later. That is very hurtful and makes men even more mad as they feel betrayed by the one they love most.

The most important thing isn't you or him or your boyfriend,

it's your daughter and what's best for her.

Answer 4

same happen to me some people we just can forget that easy especially if it was a nice ralashionship n the s*x was good after five years n kids i still call her cuz i cant let her good even with my wife having s*x i think about her and i dont know what to do

Answer 5

Well you need to decide if you want to lose what you have now for the promise of something in the future. Or if what you have now is too precious to lose.

Only you can make that choice and when you do you have to be honest with all those involved. If you want your ex to back off and never contact you again then be firm about it. Don't respond to his texts, don't answer his calls and focus on your new family.

But if you do want to be with him, then be with him.

You can't be half and half.

Answer 6

Stop the contact.   You are potentially damaging 4 lives (excluding the children)

Answer 7

can be its love but sometimes we need to resolve what we are already into before we attempt to get involved with anyone else love or not the person he is with loves him and the person u are with loves u so the both of u cant be selfish u must look at the lives will hurt this includes ur kids put urselves in the people you mean the world too shoes what if he was doing that too you how would u feel ??? put urself in ur childs shoes how will they hurt ??? and love it is a great thing and to be honest with love is even greater if u feel ur love is strong enough for this guy that keeps comming around then go for it life is too short to live with regret but be honest with the guy ur with now yeah he will be  hurt who wouldnt but what hurts the most is to be lied to by someone u love ... remember its not only bout the both of u anymore u have kids a family of or own if it is love congrats and do it the right way not sneaking around behind ur families back what is done in life will alway come back and slap us in the face =)good luck

Answer 8

You are an idiot and asking for trouble.

Answer 9

This is a very complicating problem. I feel bad for you. But think about it.. You have a daughter.. and you already have a boyfriend. Would you really wanna mess your daughters life up, by that I mean, she wouldn't really get to see her father all that much. You would be damaging your life a whole lot. I'd say just forget about the previous lover. He's trying to make you feel guilty so you could crawl back to him. You have a daughter now, and a boyfriend. Stay with your boyfriend and Daughter. You won't regret it, he will move on, and EVENTUALLY leave you alone.