My first poem?

Question

what do u think?

Escape

standing alone in the darkness

tied to a pole

needing a savior

dark knights surround me

fighting in corridors below

alarm wailing

I know there here

After some time

a warrior covered in scars

with no armor

comes to save me

she defeats the dark knights

and takes my chains away

he gets me to the exit of the building

dark spirits surrounding again

she again defeats them

the dark captain comes forth

she toses me a blade of silver

she fights to defeat

and is taken by the dark knights

I dive at the captain but he disappears

I find the nearest horse and ride to my old home

people cheer as I return although I feel sorrow

I don't show it but all that's going through my head is that...

she must be saved

what do u think please be honest I'm only 12 and remember my first poem...thanks

Answer 1

Actually it's pretty good, although she became a he, was that intended? Or, aren't you sure who really saved you?

Answer 2

It's a very good poem.

It sounds like something you could make into an interesting story with a little more effort.

Good job.

Answer 3

12? I dont believe you're twelve the images are very intense but I say it's a poem of uncertainty...a longing for childhood...

Answer 4

wonderful

Answer 5

It is good for a first poem.  It has some nice imagery.