My five year old comes home and cries because 2 kids in her class say mean things to her what should I do ?

Question

should I talk to the teacher about their behavior, they are saying she is ugly among other things. She has always been a normal happy five year old and had healthy self esteem until she started school now I have noticed big changes in her demeanor. Is there anything I can do to put a stop to it, or any advice I can give her on what to do?

Answer 1

This may be a huge adjustment in your child's social structure if she never spent time with others her age before she started school. I would definately talk to her teacher and perhaps suggest a different seating arrangement in the classroom, to get her away from the other two girls. If that fails, you could always talk to the school counselor and see if you could possibly have her switched to another class.

You also need to talk to your child. Not just a single conversation, but everyday explain to her that it doesn't matter what others think of her. To stand up for herself and that it isn't OK for others to treat her the way you say they do. Explain to her that she needs to be happy with who she is and doesn't need to change for anyone. I have three children, two who are girls and had a similiar situation with my youngest daughter. I must admit that, in the end, I had a talk with her and used the last resort that I could think of, at the time. I told her to stand up for herself and she took it somewhat more literally than I had intended. She punched the boy who picked on her everyday. I got a call from the school about it, but the boy never picked on her again.

I'm not condoning violence, but some people are a little harder at learning than others and may be in need of a little attitude adjustment!

Answer 2

the best thing you can do is call the teacher. at such a young age she can't handle that.

Answer 3

She's only 5, you should talk to the teacher.  At her age, she isn't prepared yet to deal with these kinds of things.  At the same time, encourage her to ignore them....or at least to understand that just because they say it, it doesn't make it true.  Kids can be so cruel sometimes and it's ok for you to step in.  She still needs that from you.  Best of luck.

Answer 4

have a conference or just walk her to school and talk things over in front of both of them and see why they are picking on her and then talk to her teacher and ask if she can watch or already saw suspicious behavior

Answer 5

I AM A FIFTH GRADE GIRL AND I HAVE HAD THAT HAPPEN TO AND I TRIED AND TRIED TO TELL MY MOTHER BUT SHE DOESN'T CARE BUT IF YOU ARE AN ADULT PLEASE TRY TO ENCOURAGE PARENTS TO TAKE THEIR TIME TO LISTEN TO THE KIDS AND UNDERSTAND THEIR LIVES.  SO JUST TALK TO HER AND YOU KNOW THAT GIRL HAVE VERY BIG ISSUES WITH BULLYING BUT IF A GIRL GOES UP TO A GUY AND SAYS I AM NOT GOING TO TALK TO YOU ANYMORE THE GUY WILL JUST SAY COOL I DON'T CARE THANK YOU.  GIRLS AND BOYS HANDLE THINGS IN DIFFERENT WAYS AND IN ARE SCHOOL WE TALK ABOUT THIS STUFF IN A GROUP CALLED GIRL POWER AND WE HAD TO WATCH OPRAH WINFREY AND ON THIS SHOW THERE WAS A TYPICAL 14 YEAR OLD GIRL THAT WAS BEING PICKED ON BY THE POPULAR CLIQUE AND THE FOURTEEN YEAR OLD GIRL HEARD THAT THIS OTHER GIRL IN THE NEWS DIED BECAUSE THE BULLYS BEAT HER UP AND KILLED HER AND THE FOURTEEN YEAR OLD GIRL THOUGHT TO HERSELF AND SAID I WILL EITHER DIE LIKE THE GIRL IN THE NEWS OR I WILL DO IT MYSELF AND THE GIRL HUNG HERSELF IN HER BEDROOM WITH HER DOG LEASH AND HER MOTHER KNEW NOTHING ABOUT IT AND WAS VERY UPSET.  BUT I AM SORRY IF I SCARED YOU!  HOPE THIS HELPED.  HOPE THIS PROBLEM IS SOLVED.

Answer 6

This is heart breaking to hear! You expect things like this at school but at this age!? It's unbelievable! If i was you i would definately tell the school and her teacher and i would ask if i could go into her class for a week to see what is happening.

Answer 7

Really there is nothing you can do, just talk to your daughter and tell her how beatiful she is and keep reminding her of this, also tell her to ignore the other kids if they are being mean to her.  Kids are very mean at the age, but talking to the teacher will not help and it might embarrass your daughter also.

Answer 8

My daughter was in a similar situation last year.  I was very proud to here that she told her bullies "I love me and as long as I love me you can't hurt me."  After that they left her alone.  For a 5 year old this was no small task I'm sure.  The only advice I can give you is just that.  Teach her how special she is without being obvious, teach her that as long as she loves herself, then the bad things they say can't hurt her.  That's what we've done with our girls and so far it worked.

Answer 9

You must talk to the teacher if only to show your daugther that  you are her number one advocate.  She needs to know that no matter what you will stick up for her and this will make her feel more secure.

I'm sure that your school also has a no bullying policy so you need to make sure that they continue to implement it.

Answer 10

You should talk to the teacher and get some background about the 2 kids how make fun of her. It may be because their parents bully them or it's just the way they are: bullies. Talk to her about bullying just to warn her  Because it will happen.

Answer 11

you should complain to the teachers and ask them to be removed from the class also ask for the parents numbers of those brats and complain to them about their kids

Answer 12

Talk to the teacher

Answer 13

I would most defiantly call the teacher and set up a conference. Let the teacher and even the principle know what is going on. They may not be aware of the children's behavior.

If it continues after you talk to the school, I would contact the parents personally and explain to them what is going on.

Answer 14

My mom told my sister to tell the girls that were bothering her "Thanks for the compliment".

They stopped bothering her from that day on.  It was the fact that they were upsetting her rather than what they were really saying.  If she is able to stand up to them that might help.

I am sorry for her, mine is 4 and I am starting to see that behaviour starting up.

Girls are so mean to each other.

Answer 15

have a word with her form tutor and tell him/her whats going on with your kid get it sorted out otherwise it will keep on going on and it will effect her confidence. also ask your kid what she wants you to do. hope its answered your question, chaniki x

Answer 16

I agree that you should talk to the teacher and keep him/her in the loop.  But definitely make sure you remind your daughter how beautiful she is and how much you lover her.  I like the idea of her telling the kids "Thanks for the compliment"!

Answer 17

Ever go to school? Not to sound mean, but tell your kid to tuff'n up. It's school, it's not a "nice" place.

Answer 18

Unfortunetly, she has to learn to pick her own battles, even at that age..

Sticks and stones...

Again.... unfortunetly words DO hurt.. but like I said.. talk to your 5 y/o about sticking up for herself and not letting those negative kids bring her down!

My daughter was getting picked on like that at the babysitters when she was 3-4 yrs old and I finally told her "either you stick up for yourself.. tell them to not be mean if they're your friends, you walk away and play with nice friends, OR you just keep getting picked on forever and be sad..." she chose to find nicer friends.. and we didn't have that problem anymore... WELL she did, every so often tell me that she'd still play with those mean twins but as soon as they'd be mean she'd wave her lil hand and say "oh well, you're mean,bye" and she'd run off and play wtih the boys since they were nicer.. and then the girls started noticing and started being nicer..

she figured it out on her own though.. try that.