My five year old daughter has horrible temper tantrums..?

Question

My daughter is the most well behaved child in public..She is so polite and the sweetest thing. She is also VERY smart..But as soon as we are home and she doesnt get her way she throws the worst temper tantrums..She is very sensitive and cries about anything she doesnt like. She will stomp, throw herself on the floor, kick her wall, Scream and yell..What can I do to stop these?

Answer 1

Just keep telling her, " louder I can't hear you", or " you didn't throw yourself on the floor hard enough", it sounds terrible but you should only have to do it a couple of times but quite soon she'll get the point that the tantrums are not accomplishing anything and she'll stop, and don't, under any circumstances give in to the outbursts, that's basically saying, " throw a tantrum because you'll get your way if you do", that's absolutely the wrong thing to do.

Answer 2

A lot of kids have this problem.  THey can keep it together and behave in with other people but at home they are at their worst because they know you will love them no matter what.  It actually shows that she knows that, that she can release all that stress of being the 'good girl' in public and act out at home.  She is not being spiteful she just needs the release.  

To deal with it, never give in to her tantrums.  Ignore them or isolate her.  I tell my sensitive one she can cry or be mad but she has to do it in her room.  I reinterate that she will NEVER get her way because she cried about it.  I tell her it is ok to be mad or disagree, but it is not ok to scream or stomp her feet.  I tell her to use words to describe what she feels or punch a pillow or yell into a pillow.... all healthy releases.  Don't try to tell her she shouldn't be upset or that she is wrong to feel that way.  Kids feel the way they feel and they have every right to.  Just like we have every right to acknowledge their feelings but not give in.

Answer 3

look up 1,2,3 magic on google. i'd give you the website but my internet is messed up it works wonders on children like this and its very easy to do

there are two different ways to do it.

the first way is giving them choices. lets say you want her to pick up her toys. and she starts freaking out. you get down to her level and hold on to her and you say i'm going to count to three and you have two choices either you pick up the toys yourself or your going to be put in time out. then you start counting. it might not work the first few times but after a while she'll get the hint. be very stern about it too. and when she's in time out pay no attention to her. ignore her crying for you and what not. and since she's 5 she should stay in time out for 5 mins.

the other way is if she starts crying about something small like picking up toys you say thats one. and if she doesnt stop you say. thats 2. and if she still doesnt stop then you say thats 3 and she goes in time out.  or you can have a clip chart like what i had at my preschool.

its a piece of paper and you put 1 at the bottom. then 2 in the middle and then 3 at the top

this if for the second one. her clip will start out on no number. then if you have to say one you move her clip to one. and so on.

and to get a better effect with this idea is you can decorate her clip with her because then she'll feel such a sense of pride for it. and she'll hate to see it get moved.

also when she is done timeout make sure you sit with her and explain to her why she was in time out.

Answer 4

Five is rather old for tantrums - has anything recently changed in her life that she could be feeling stressed about?  First thing I would do is evaluate everything that has been going on her life and make sure there aren't any new or additional stressors that could be causing this behavior.

Now, to deal with the tantrums. :)

As far as the simple crying because she doesn't get what she wants, you need to get down to her level and show some understanding - that's all she wants.  Say you tell her she can't have that piece of candy and she falls to the floor, crying (no tantrum) hysterically.  You should kneel beside her and say "Sweetheart, I know that you're sad (or angry, frustrated, etc) that you cannot have that piece of candy, but crying about it is NOT going to change things."  In a firm, but calm voice.  Then, you need to walk away from her.  It's your choice to either leave her where she sits and ignore her, or to bring her to her room and say she may come out when she's through crying.  One thing I must say though is you MUST ignore the behavior.  She's doing it for your attention, and even negative attention is attention to her!

As far as the outright tantrums, as long as she is not hurting herself or others, you must also ignore this behavior.  Do not say anything to her during the tantrum at all.  Remember, eve a negative response is a response.  Walk away from her.  The only time you should intervene is if she's hurting herself or others.  When she has finished the tantrum you can explain to her that you understand that she's angry, but that having a tantrum will not solve anything, and she needs to use her words like a big girl and you will help her feel better.  

Do not have an all-out discussion or build too much up around her tantrum.  Move on and play a game with her.  The more attention that is drawn to the behavior, the more it will continue.

It works, I swear!  Good luck!