My five year old daughter is scared of her upcoming surgery - how can I comfort her- what should I say?

Question

My five year old daughter is having Tonsillectomy and Adenoidectomy in two weeks. It's a common procedure so I'm not too worried about it. She knows that it is going to happen but she doesn't want me to talk to her about it. I'm just wondering if anyone has any ideas of what I can say to comfort her into talking about it and so maybe she will not be too worried about it?

(She has sleep apnea and snores very loudly while sleeping so the surgery is a must)

Answer 1

Im not sure. But if shes scared tell her shes a big girl and shes brave, and compliment her. My mum used to do that it works. If i hurt myself or had to do something she would make as though im so great and brave.

Answer 2

My 7 year old just had the same surgery in November of 2007. I did some research on the computer and printed out some stuff to show her about her tonsils. I never lied and said it wouldn't hurt but she was more into the surgery then going and getting swabbed for strep throat ever again. It helps to show them..I think at such a young age they have a hard time understanding our "lingo". Pictures helps and reminding them that you will be there waiting for her when she comes out will also help. LAST, our doctor gave her a book to look through about the surgery on her doctor visit and I let her take a favorite stuffed animal with her. Good luck!

PS -- don't be surprised if after the surgery she seems okay but then on day two she starts complaining. That's normal because the pain meds start wearing off.

Answer 3

Aww.  You could tell her that sometimes doctors have to go inside our body to help us feel better and that is all that the doctors are going to do.  It's normal to be afraid.  I had eye surgery when I was 4 years old.  My mom and dad told me that there's a piece of muscle in my eye that is broken and that the doctor needed to fix it.  They said I will go to sleep and the doctors will fix it and then I will wake up again.  They told me I'd be a little tired and sore, but that my eye would work right.  And sure I was still nervous but it helped tremendously for them to say that.  My dad was there in the operating room when I went under and my mom was there in the recovery room when I woke up.  One or the other would be there at all times with me.  I hope this helps some.  I hope your daughter's surgery goes well and that there is a speedy recovery!

Answer 4

I had that same surgery when I was 17, and while it is pretty routine, I didn't like the blood in my nose because I foolishly just blew my nose and the blood can be sort of freaky to see. So be prepared for anything that may happen to freak her out after the surgery.  Just be patient with her if she gets upset and try to let her know that lots of other kids get it done too and that the doctors are very good at what they do.

I also recommend apple juice.  I wanted nothing else but apple juice because it's the least acidic juice and it tasted so good.  I really recommend Simply Apple, it's pure juice and tastes JUST like eating a fresh apple, and is all natural.  Wish they had it back when I had my tonsils out, I'll never go back to another juice again.

Answer 5

In my experience, when a child is told that it "won't hurt", the kiddo almost always starts crying.  Children do not think like adults.  The child may not even have thought about pain, but now has the idea given to them from a well intentioned Mommy or Daddy.  Let your daughter talk to YOU about it, not the other way around.  You will be able to find out what is bothering her the most and address that issue.  If she is afraid of getting hurt, just tell her the truth in terms a five year old can understand.  Surely she has had a sore throat at one time or another and you can tell her how you remember that she handled it like a little trooper and how proud you were of her behavior, etc.  Also, like one of the other respondents said, the surgery center often has a program of some sort to familiarize children with the procedures before surgery.  This would be a great thing to take advantage of if offered.

Answer 6

You should be able to get a book aimed at her age group discussing hospital visits.  You may get one with a story about a child that has to go in for a similar operation.  If you can read this together and when she feels ready to, you can discuss her visit with her.

Answer 7

Talk to your doctor and see if there is a support group type thing for children and surgery.  Maybe if she talks to other children who have had surgery (any type) maybe she would feel better.

Answer 8

I would recommend checking with the surgeon's office or the hospital.  Most hospitals will have some color books and other kid-friendly resources to help your child understand the surgery and what to expect.

Answer 9

Call the hospital.  

The hospital my son had surgery at offered a tour prior to surgery, where they explained things to them and gave them some goodies.  It helped his fear a lot.  Your hospital probably does something similar.

Check the local library to see if there are any books that you can get on the subject (children's storybooks).

Otherwise, if she knows what is going to happen and does not want to talk about it, let her be.  You might unintentionally cause more stress for her.

I wish you the best!

Answer 10

Try the local library they will have books designed for children who are about to have some kind of surgery.

My son was 3 when he had his done and we had no problems leading up to the surgery but for 2 days after he would not swallow anything, and ended up on a drip to put fluids back into him.

Why not ask her if she has any worries about the procedure?

Answer 11

Aww i dont know, just hold her tight every day for a second and say its going to be fine, Mommy and daddy went through it too when we were 5! That way she could say really? and start asking a bunch of questions. So research it or ask her doctor on here how it feels, if you feel it or if youll be sleeping, that way you can explain it to her lightly. I know itll seem like your lying, but its for a good cause.

Answer 12

Lie to her.  Say it will be OK.

Answer 13

Check with the hospital - sometimes they have a little program the child can go to that explains what will happen etc. If not tell her the doc will give her a very special mask that will help her to go to sleep and that special medicine will make it so it doesnt hurt her to have the surgery. That when she wakes up her throat will hurt but she will be fine in evry other way. Tell her she can have popsickles and ice cream.

One hint for Mom: the hospital will give you a chart for liquids - make sure she gets all that she is supposed to have. This is VERY important to avoid bleeding from the site. Any liquids will do but water is best.

Also I would not worry about saying very much until you are on the way to the hospital. Then you can explain in these simplistic terms what will happen.