My five year old?

Question

I was called in the other day b/c my five year old daughter has been bullying the younger kids. She put sticks in one of the little girl’s underwear and made her walk around like that. She trapped another little girl in the tunnel and refused to let her out. She promised one of her friend some candy if she climbed on the jungle gym, the girl was extremely afraid of heights; she then put beads in flavored water and gave it to the girl to eat. She pushed down a baby until the baby cried. I don’t know what is going on with her, the principle at the kindergarten is asking me if I know about any sexual/ physical abuse that might have happen to her. Her behavior at home has not changed and she has not showed any signs of abuse. My husband spanked her once a couple of years ago, not hard, he stopped b/c I am against it. This keeps popping up in my mind. What should I do?

Only mature answers please…

Answer 1

I doubt one spanking years ago is the cause. Get your little girl to a child psychologist soon because her behaviour is a bad sign of things to come if it doesn't get resolved.

Answer 2

They do that sometimes at that age, normally if they want control or if they have seen something like that. I think you should take her to a pcyschologist. good luck!

Answer 3

Maybe it is because you DIDN'T spank her that she is now bullying others?  No, I am not trying to be rude...even with domesticated animals (like dogs) when their young misbehave they snap at them to get their attention and to correct their actions.  Spanking is not physical abuse as long as it is not overdone.  It is getting their attention to stop their actions and listen to what you are saying.

EDIT:  I agree with Tina...she is doing it because she knows that she wont be punished for her actions.  Some time tough love is the right road with kids...show them that you wont put up with their actions that cause hurt or harm to others.

Answer 4

did you just have another baby or something? Try giving her more attention, or "mommy daughter time". good luck : )

Answer 5

"Bad" behavior in a five-year-old is typically a sign that she is trying to define boundaries, and has nothing to do with "abuse".  Think about it, she has discovered she is "autonomous", and can actually make decisions for herself.  She is intellectually unsure how much actual freedom she has, so she is doing what all other precocious children do, she is "pushing the boundaries" to see how much she can get away with; she won't stop until she learns where the boundaries are, and it is your job as a parent to teach her that.  The fact that she has not been spanked for two years goes a long way to explaining her behavior, what exactly DO you do to punish her when she misbehaves? Whatever it is, it isn't working!

Answer 6

First of all, there are always reasons why children act like this. Are you and your husband home usually? Or do you often leave her with a babysitter. She should almost always have at least one parent home with her, or else she would be miserable. You should have absolutely no physical discipline. Discipline her by having her face the wall, and the longer she cries or screams, the longer she has to sit there. If you send her to her room, she can pretty much do whatever she wants there. You should call the principal regularly, every day probably, because your daughter likely won't tell you if she's being mean to other children. If she knows she will get caught, she will stop and keep doing that. Every day she does nothing to other kids, tell her that you are proud of her and let her watch extra TV or go on a fun walk with her or something. Not exactly a reward, but to show her how things are so much better off when she is nice. I hope everything works out. Good luck.

Answer 7

you need to get a belt and use it.Your daughter is out of control because  she knows you are not gonna punish her.

Answer 8

Think of what folks have had private time with her.

Answer 9

Explain to her, that if she continues to act this way at school, or outside of the house, she will be punished for it at home.  I don't quite agree with you on spanking, because one good swat on the backside, is sometimes needed as an attention getter.

Answer 10

Sounds like she needs some discipline. It is better to start with discipline from the beginning but it is not too late. She (and you) are lucky she doesn't go to school with my daughter, that's for sure!

Answer 11

You don't say if there are other children at home or friends for her to play with. It could be she doesn't behave this way at home because the opportunity does not present itself.

She needs to know you will punish her at home for her bad behavior at school by grounding her, taking away a favorite toy, no dessert or some favorite activity. Check daily with the school and let her know you will be doing this.

If she is seen doing something nice with the other kids, that should be praised.

And take some alone time with her and question her about possible abuse.........use words she will understand about touching and boundaries and assure her that she can tell you anything and will not be in trouble. It may also be time for a visit to the pediatrician to rule out any physical issues.