My five year old son is driving me crazy. Advice please to worn out mum!?

Question

He is behaving like a 2 year old. He thinks everything is a joke and is so so silly.

Of course he is adorable and love him very much but it's gone too far in public places or with visitors. His baby behaviourand lack of listening effects is ruining everything we do in/out the house. It is like he is totally out of control. Tell him off and he freaks out and starts kicking and gets worse.

He is the youngest in family and leads the others on.

Answer 1

This reminds me of my 12 yr old bro though he's not that xtreme .

Answer 2

Ever heard of supernanny?

Contact the website, or buy the book. See what answers are there.

I watched the programme and every time this woman's son did something wrong, she took away his favourite toys and until he was kind he didn't get them back. It was like this reward chart thing. For every "black dot" he got a toy was confiscated, for every "star" he got he got a toy back, or some form of reward.

Stick to this and it will be solved.

GOOD LUCK

xx

http://www.google.co.uk "supernanny"

xx

Answer 3

the thing that scares my son the worst is when i don't yell back, i just give him the look.  I grab his arm and walk him to the wall, give him a rag or a pot holder, something soft, and tell him to hold it against the wall with his nose until i tell him he can move.

  You should also start promising him things if he is good. Like ok, if you are good in the mall today, we will buy ice cream before we leave. and at that age you must keep reminding them. and also you need to tell him what is "being good" "being good mean's no yelling, no running, you must hold mommy's hand ect." And stick to your guns, if he doesn't behave he doesn't get his reward and remind him why he didn't get his reward. it takes time and a truck load of patience. Good luck

Answer 4

Unfortunately it sounds like he's getting mixed signals. You want him to behave like a perfect gentleman when out in public but you laugh and giggle at him and tell him he's cute or funny at home? If that's the case, you need to adjust your own behavior and responses.



Kids really do need consistency, and he needs to know that while having fun is ok, treating people with respect is important, and that being quiet and still is respectful when in public.

My five year old had and sometimes still has the same problem, but when I adjusted my response to show him that out of control behavior woudn't be tolerated ANYWHERE, his naturally sweet and caring side shined through and he's much better behaved in general.

Practice listening excercises like they do in kindergarten, don't give in when he throws a fit, remain consistent and show him that a fit will only result in a time out (age appropriate- about 5 minutes for a 5 year old).

If my son freaks out over a reprimand he's informed that I can't help him because I don't understand him, and if he doesn't immediately calm down he gets a time out in the corner (stimulation and activities he enjoys like tv are taken away with this approach).

When he behaves in a manner consistent with your expressed wishes a positive reward like a fun family trip to the park would definitely help show him that listening and behaving respectfully is much more fun!

Answer 5

He is just full of energy.

Enrol him in some physical activity, be it football, karate or swimming or something he enjoys.

They not only learn the sport but how to take instruction.

5 is still very young but I had my kids swimming from 6 weeks old, Karate from 5 and my son joined footie at 6 and is already an accomplished player.

They need something to focus their energy on and sport of any kind is brilliant for them. It is a good weapon too when they are misbehaving. (I will tell your coach) bad I know but it works.

Answer 6

Don't tell him, act.  If he won't behave he can't be part of the party with everyone else - he can go do his stuff on his own in his room.  If he won't behave in public he can't be in public.  When he acts up, remove him from the situation and say "We will try again next time, but you are done right now."  He has no right to disrupt everyone else.

Meanwhile, make sure he gets enough attention on his own.  He is the youngest so I bet he feels pretty left of things.  So, you take him to lunch together or take him to the library or do something special just with him and you, or just him and his dad.

Answer 7

I don't agree in removing the child from the situation.. that just tells them that if they don't behave, we'll go home and you can play with your toys.  I think you should take the child aside when they are misbehaving and tell them what they are doing wrong and tell them we are going to try again.  Then if they do it again, I would take them to the car and spank them.  This works for my child!  I believe in spanking and it does work for most kids.  NOT beating, but spanking on the bottom!

Answer 8

I don't seem to have this problem. I taught him at a young age how to act in public. You need to be assertive. When he starts to throw a tantrum don't just beg him to stop, pick him up and carry him out of there. If you are in a store drop everything. You can come back later. ESPECIALLY drop anything you got him and make sure he sees it.

If you are in a restaurant carry him outside and stand out there with him. Refuse to go back in until he is done. If worse comes to worse than stay out there until you leave to go home. Once at home punish him using whatever method you perfer whether it be time-out or no TV, etc.

It takes patience but it can be done. I did it with my son many times just as my mom did with me.

Answer 9

I always sent my kids to their room when they were not behaving properly. I would tell them that when they thought they were ready to behave better they could come back to be with the rest of the family. If your son acts up while your out some place, just take him out side or some where private and tell him that if he acts like this one more time that you are taking him home.  Then if he acts up again, you do have to follow through with what you said and take him home.Then the next time the family is invited somewhere, get a baby sitter for him and when he asks why he has to stay home with a baby sitter and everyone else gets to go, you tell him it is because of the way he acts when you take him places. He will change his ways pretty quick. I think you will only have to hire a baby sitter once before he gets the idea.

Answer 10

Don't tell him how to act instead just lead by example and by your other children's example.

Also if he's acting like a baby maybe give him a certain responsible task to do and see how he does it.

And when he's naughty put him on a naughty step and make him sit there for 5 minutes quietly, and every time he moves put him back there. You're letting him get away with everything and not making him take responsibility for his actions therefore he thinks he can behave the way he does, because you're not doing anything to forcefully change it.

Answer 11

Hi,

I use to be a Nanny so I have experienced this first hand!!

Right, he doing this to gain attention. Children of this age use their cuteness to get out of trouble. When they were 2/3 they were the baby and everyone gave in to them. As they grow up, they realise they not getting away with so much so they try and retreat back to when they were babies - hence the baby behaviour.

What you need to do is to ignore him when you know he just wants attention - when he on floor being silly and having tantrums, just carry on with washing, compliment your other kids for being good and just ignore him. If he screaming his head off, you just sing your favourite song.

If his behaviour is so bad that it self harming to him, damaging to property or others then you need to take him to a room where they no toys or objects where he can hurt himself. The hallway is usually a good one and you leave him there for 5 mins. Even a room where you can hold the handle if he kicking off. 5 mins is one min for each year of his life and although this sounds cruel it actually helps him to learn to calm down, gives you chance to calm, him to reflect and learn it not acceptable behaviour.

After the 5 mins are up you say to him ' Mummy put you here because you ..........., now what do you want to say to mummy?'

You want a clear apology - no mumbling and then hug and it over with forgotten onto the next thing.

You need to be consistant in your disapline approach so that means all family members aware of it and don't be embarrased to follow it through even when vistors come. It much better that giving him mixed signals and him thinking it ok, only to be told off minute visitor leaves.

When out in public you can use the same thing - sit on a bench if he kicking off and hurting you - sit him on lap, turn your head away so he can't headbutt you and you hold his arms firmly but not to inflict pain on him and you wait 5 mins with NO EYE CONTACT.

He will calm and again you ask for apology.

In public if shopping then get those shopping lists you can buy from Early Learning Centre they are a great and help make those shopping trips all the big easier.

Tell him for each time he good he can have a sticker in a sticker book - if he earns 3 to 5 stickers on a trip out he allowed a trip such as a drink in cafe, magazine, toy ect.

Also if behaviour getting so bad then you get a big clear through box and you tell him that each time he naughty he has time out and one of his favourite toys will be taken off him and put in box where he can not play with it, until he learns to respect house, family ect. When he been good give him LOADS OF PRAISE and give him any toys back that may have been taken off him.

All the best - hope I helped!!!

Lx

Answer 12

LOL-sounds like every other youngest kid. Tell the other kids to help lead the way to better behavior for him. Ask that they don't react when inappropriate.

Then if it persists-take him to the pediatrician-he could have ADHD. But the majority of behavior is learned-and most kids let their younger siblings get away with everything just to be entertained. Start with the audience.