My friend's mom thinks I'm a "Bad influence" and it kind of hurt my feelings because..

Question

I've known her since preschool. I live two hours away from her in the city because I moved when we were seven. The town I used to live in is really small compared to the one I live in now. A few months back my friend told me that she thought she was bi. One day we were messing around and texting and I was like "Do you wanna go out with me?!" But we were like totally joking around and my friends new that I was kidding and she didn't find it offensive or anything so no need to bring that up. Well she was supposed to come to my house for a week in June but her mom looked through her phone and found that text and made my best friend go to New York for three weeks and Georgia for one week. She just got back like a week ago but had to go to camp. She got back from camp last night. Well she just called me and she was like "I can't come over" and when I asked why she said that her mom thinks that I'm a bad influence! I mean, I guess this is my punishment for messing around. And it's not like I'm bi or anything I'm STRAIGHT. Anyway this really kind of hurt my feelings because I feel like I've ruined my relationship with her and her family. I've known them for so long this just really sucks! When she was first flown to New York I was asking her if her mom didn't like me anymore and she was like "No no she loves you!" so I was really relieved then. Well now when she told me that her mom thinks I'm a bad influence I was like "I told you she doesn't like me anymore!" And she said "Well no it's just the CITY is a bad influence. You know, city suburb, city suburb." But I don't see what the problem is because she's been up here plenty of tomes before. PLEASE help! What do I do?! I'm going to lose my best friend over something VERY stupid! ='[

P.S. I'm 13 if your wondering.

Answer 1

Well, first of all find out if what you're worried about is even true.  Has your friend's mother actually said she thinks you're a bad influence?  It sounds like your friend has given you contradictory answers. Are you sure she is being honest about why she can't spend time with you?  If you're sure, would you be comfortable talking to her mother yourself?  Explain that teens say a lot of things in their texting that aren't serious.  Tell her you're sorry it offended her.

Second, if your friend really is bisexual, her mother has no business blaming you.  You didn't make her that way.  You're just trying to be a good friend to her.  The mother is going to have to learn to accept her daughter as she is.  In the meantime, your friend is fortunate to have your support.  

Answer 2

Just let some time go by, and if you feel like you can, try to talk to her mother and tell her it was a stupid joke and that you have learned your lesson.  

Answer 3

wow my friends are like just like this... and like just explain it to her mom............ hopefully shell understand... and like i know that cause the same thing happened to me last year!!!!!!! so like good luck

Answer 4

Talk to her mom about it.

Get your parent/gaurdian to talk to her mom about it.

Answer 5

even if u werent joking who cares? if her mom DID believe it she shouldnt have gotten upset over sumthing like that. some ppl r straight, g*y, or bi. it really doesnt matter n her mom should accept it. i know u were kidding but she prob thought u were serious. everyone jokes around idk wut the problem is. ur friend should joke to her mom that shes bi n u guys r dating haha. idk try to make it more into a joke n her mom will laugh

Answer 6

Explain everything to your friend's mom.

Answer 7

when you see her act like you really are a bad influence. why does it matter what she thinks? all depends on if you really are or not!

you cant do anything about it. your friend and her mum have to do this themselves and if that means you lose your best friend then thats your friends fault!

Answer 8

Forget about what that last guy/girl said, She thinks your a bad influince so she is not alowing her daughter to be with you. She dont want her child to turn out a L*****n and im not saying she is and im not saying you are its just the txt message realy messed it all up. But you need to understand why her mother is acting like that, its natural to feel worried for your child who could be hanging out with a L*****n, again im not saying you are its just her mom sees it like that.

You could try and explain it to her mom see if she understands...Peace

Answer 9

Maybe give her mum a phone and have an adult chat with her about what you could have done to make her feelings change.  Chances are your friends mum is getting spooked by how much you are both growing up and how scary the big city seems & is just getting overprotective.  

If you are able to speak to her like an adult she will trust you enough.  Could you go to your friends house instead.  it may just be the city atmosphere the mum is stressing out about.

Answer 10

Try getting your friend to talk to her mom for you saying it was all a  stupid joke and that you learned not to mess around with these things any more..... but whats life with out little bumps in the road to success right?

Answer 11

just tell your friend to tell her mom that you were just joking around

Answer 12

Call and talk with her mom. Tell her you and your friend were just playing around with the text messages.

Answer 13

Missy, I was going to suggest that you explain this to your mom but she may freak out like your friend's mom (idk), but think about it, and then have your mom speak to her mom. I know you want to handle this yourself, but see if you mom will step in, however, your mom will NOT like hearing that your friend's mom thinks you're a bad influence.  

One of the other posters mentioned how yr friend's mom is just freakiing out with the thought of her dau being a L*****n and I agree. Most parents don't want their kids to be g*y.

What you friend said about "city suburb" is B.S. b/c she spent 3 wks in NYC. I can't begin to tell you how LARGE the homosexual population is there. Not that she'd get assaulted by some L*****n, but it's NYC!! Is your friend's mom unaware of this city?

I think the mom just wasnts to separate you two and, who knows, maybe your friend feels she's growing away from you too, but can't explain or express it to you. She may be more depressed than you know and is isolating herself, just doing what her mom says. Stay in touch as much as you can.  

  

Answer 14

I think you should explain this to you friends mom and tell her it was all a misunderstanding.

Hope it works out.

Answer 15

question : that camp she went to was it one of those camps where her parents send her somewhere so she susposedly become straight ???

- but she probably took the text seriously, because she might've kind of knew about her daughter's feelings & about the cutting i seriously agree why would you want your own 'best friend' to cut yourself, seriously ?? but just try getting someone to taking you over to your friends house & try talking it out with her mom, or maybe get your mom to talk to her, or maybe just call her mom and explain the situation. but if she doesn't know anything about her maybe being bi then don't say anything about just tell her 'its a inside joke'.