My friend's sister died, family is hard on money -- horse left in the middle ?

Question

One of my close friends, Emily, had a sister who did not get along with me too well. Anyway, she passed away a few days ago, and it was not peaceful, or easy. She had to be around 16. Anyway -- Hannah, Emily's sister, had a mare, Almond Joy.. Now, Emily loves horses, but can't ride, so she asked me to work Joy. I'm in a tough spot because I already work with three TWHs, and I have a big project on my hands, and travelling between two farms really makes my parents tired.. and sore for gas money. Joy stays at a HORRENDOUS farm that I am going to report as soon as Joy gets off of its premises. There are 200+ horses, kept on dirt lots, who never see a farrier or vet, and who are worked like dogs. In their tiny dirt paddocks, they are bred over and over again, and have little to no shelter.

Before I get into that, my question is..

I want to get Emily to move Joy to the farm where I work, where there is a stall for Joy to stay in, and where I can work her more.. [more in details]

Answer 1

Poor thing what a spot to be put in.  Do yourself and them a favor, be honest and up-front with them.  Tell them What you told us that it puts you in a tuff spot.

While they are facing their lost of a daughter, they still have a responsibility to her horse.  If they do not wish to take care of Joy they need to sell or GIVE Joy to someone who would.

Animals are not that different than people. Thus if a mother would pass away would her family just stiff her children on someone else??? Or take them in and tend to their needs?

As for the one place being so bad ..... stop and think .... If it’s that bad why in the dickens would you wait to report them in????  After all you said their was over 200 lives in there not just the 1.  Report them now.  You may save one of those horses lives.

I don’t mean the following statement toward you, for you sound like a very kind and carry soul.  But for others.  If they can not afford to take care of a pet the way it should be taken care of they should never ever have one.

A minor’s pet can’t be without their parents OK.  Thus the pets left behind are the parents responsibility.  

If a pet is not getting proper care then their owners should be reported into the Human Society where they will find them homes who will give them the care and love they need.  For if you/they can’t take care of them proper then they do not love them.  For noone would toucher something they love and that is what is happening if their pet is not getting proper care they are being toucher

Answer 2

It sounds awesome. I am sure your friend will appreciate it. You seem so kind and generous. I am sure your family would be proud of you!

Good luck and be smart!

Answer 3

it sounds like a really nice gift.

Answer 4

I would do that! I know I would for a friend....... I would do anything for a friends horse and my friend

Answer 5

It sounds like a nice gift and a good plan. Good luck!

Answer 6

i think that a very nice thing to do for the family you should ask emily if you could take joy to your stables  and im sure emily would be overwelmed with happiness

Answer 7

Your actions speak of the most kind hearted person. I was recently at a funeral where they had a prized horse ribbon/photo on the casket.

Re the horse, do you think you can manage her at your own facility. If so it is a good idea, if in doubt you'll just have to be honest with the family.

You will be one of the families rocks while they are sorting out all these things, and they will greatly appreciate it when they are over their initial grieving.

Big hugs going your way.

Answer 8

You've got a good heart and I sympathize for you having to deal with this at this time of your friend's loss.

Check with the folks you're working horses for, maybe they will haul the mare for you if you can get Em to agree to it.  Stress the fact that the food that is being fed at the current place can and will cause colic and that Em or her parents don't have money for a vet bill.  Stress the fact that getting proper feed is more important than the mare losing her friends and being stressed out over the move.

There was a stable in El Monte, CA who decided that they'd feed old produce and ground alfafa dunnage (This is what they use to keep pallets from moving around in containers that are shipped in from overseas.) to their horses.  After doing this for about 5 years all of a sudden their horses were dropping like flies.  The county of LA quit allowing them to board horses after that and it took a few years for them to allow them to open up their rental string again.

Tell Em what I've just told you and if she still doesn't want to move Joy, then call the county on the place.

Best of luck.

Answer 9

As a mom (and horse lover, OK) there is absolutely nothing on God's green earth worse than losing a child, I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.  

Her family is torn beyond words right now, and the horse is probably pretty low on the list of priorities, not in a mean way just they're grieving and not thinking clearly.  

I think you could simply write a simple heart felt letter telling them you would be able to take the mare and care for her as long as they wish.  They might take you up on it, they might not, but either way you made the offer.  They may already be making plans to sell the horse as a way to defer the costs of the funeral, and that's OK too, just say you would get her in better condition so she could bring some more money in for the family (don't say how much she'd sell for, because you don't really know.)

If you're not prepared for them to sell her in the next couple of months?  Don't take her in.  In all likelihood that's what they'll do.

In the meantime, call the authorities and report the farm she's at, please.  

What a great young lady you are, no doubt.  :)

Answer 10

You are a kind person. Having lost my sister, I guarantee you that Emily will appreciate whatever help, large or small, you give her. Sometimes distraction or keeping her busy with simple things that aren't emotionally heavy can be the best remedy. Your gift sounds thoughtful and useful and will surely touch her. Just remember that no matter how she appears on the inside, your friend's entire world has disappeared and she's walking through a fog. Not only does she have her own pain, but she carries the pain of her parents who lost a child, which is beyond words. If you can arrange for Joy to come to your barn, and nudge Emily to start working with her on the ground with simple things that all greenies start with like grooming and haltering, you'll be giving her a great gift. Right now Joy is the equivalent of Hannah for Emily; that horse is the most important thing in her world and she feels like she must protect and cling to Joy at all costs. Whatever you can do to help that along will be remembered forever.

Answer 11

It sounds like an amazingly nice gift. Good luck! <3