My friend's suicide.

Question

i find myself thinking of his pen.

the pen clenched in his shaking hand,

anxiously scribbling "it's never worth it."

feet away

watching

as he ended his life.

an accomplice to my friend's suicide,

i hate this pen.

i find myself thinking of his gun.

the gun he held in his shaking hands,

complying with his demand

to fire.

an accomplice to my friend's suicide,

i hate this gun.

i find myself thinking of him.

the friend whose last minutes of life

were spent in

sadness.

the pen and gun blinded his senses,

leaving only an option of desperation.

i miss my friend.

Any criticism anyone can give me? pleaaase?

Answer 1

Great poem. Really tense mood through out this poem. Really like the repetitions going at the end of the stanzas. Remember that poetry gives us the ability to express our emotions creatively. Mad and miss are just words. To me, these two words don't give that much emotion. To me, it more like the  base of the building, you build from those words. Is this anger you feel towards his imminent doom comparable do anything one feels? Explain this loneliness you feel at the realization of your friends tragic death? It is this technique that really puts youre perspective and emotions into the reader. Remember that a poem never goes done. Other than that, this poem was really emtional and a good piece. Hope to see more posts.