My friend asked me if I want to adopt her baby when hes born, do we have to do?

Question

Do we need a laywer? Shes not 100% sure of who the father is, wouldnt he need to sign the babyover for adoption as well? The baby is due August 5, and I know adoption cant be that easy as to just hand me the baby is it?

Answer 1

You need to contact a lawyer ASAP.  Adopting a child involves a long process, so get started right away.  Every state has different adoption laws regarding the birth father, look into your  state laws.

Answer 2

Yes, you should have a lawyer even though she is your friend!!

You still need to protect yourself and the child and insure the adoption is 100% legal.

Answer 3

yes, you definitely need a lawyer. Plus you'll need to do whatever adoption homestudies your state requires to make sure you are even eligible to adopt a child.

Answer 4

I would advise getting an attorney-  and if she is not sure who the father is, she should do a DNA test after the baby is born , or your lawyer will order it, and if the father cannot be contacted- then he will write up something to sever the fathers rights.

Answer 5

Don't tell me she doesn't know who the father is that's just her way of not telling him. If she slept with 5 guys she needs to tell each one of them because if the father finds out that she is pregant and trys to help her and she says no  and still gives the baby to you. This could be a real costly battle if he wants his child. Don't beleive me well this happened to my son and the only reason she isn't being sued with everyone else is she told the hospital his name. Now get to you. You could be like the couple who has my grandson *THEY CAN NEVER ADOPT HIM) they are part of the lawsuit because of there greed in getting this little blond hair blues eye bundle of joy they over looked the fact that the father was begging all of them not to take his child. For the sake of the child and your family make sure she informs the father and do it right. As far as my son he get's visitaion until he goes back to court. This couple have to pay for their lawyers to.

Answer 6

The best answer I can give is to point you towards the study that the Evan B Donaldson Adoption Institute did about safeguarding the rights and well-being of birthparents.  If you are really serious in considering this, you need to look out for your friend as much as yourself.  Exploiting a friend out of their baby because neither one of you knew any better can be a friendship breaker.  Anyway, read the links!

http://www.adoptioninstitute.org/researc...

http://www.adoptioninstitute.org/publica...

Answer 7

Adoption laws vary from state to state.  Yes, you will need to do a dna test on each of the possible fathers and have him sign papers or he can come back and reverse the adoption. For all you know, he may want to raise the baby.  Find out now who possible fathers are.    Be aware. Most women who don't know who the father is actually DO know.  She just wanted him to be axed out of HER decisions.  If she doesn't actually know, then you have to consider whether she is a prostitute or drug user.

If yours is a state that allows for private adoptions, then you need to contact an adoption lawyer to find out what is needed.

I personally would encourage her to parent her own child, but I can certainly understand why she would want to place her child with a known person vs. a stranger.

Answer 8

I'm new to Yahoo answers so I don't know if what I'm about to say is politically correct in this venue, but here goes.

Something in the way your question is worded makes me wonder how much you really want to adopt this baby.  The idea of a cute little baby might be very inviting, but are you ready for the diapers, sleepless nights, terrible twos (and threes!), potty training, school issues, friend issues, "You're not my real mother" issues, and so forth?  Don't get me wrong, I'm the mother of three wonderful children: 1 bio and two adopted so I'm definitely NOT against adoption.  But if you are in any way doing this as a favor to your friend, please reconsider, however honorable it may seem.  You may want to check with a local adoption agency for free adoption counseling for you and your friend before making any commitments.

Answer 9

Yes, you need a lawyer. But also, I think if you're serious about doing this, you and your friend also need to decide how involved she is going to be in the baby's life. Does she want regular contact or will she be moving away and removing herself completely? Or something in between? I can see a lot of conflict coming if you two aren't completely clear.

As for the father, ethically, I think she is bound to contact the possibilities, have a paternity test done,and give them the opportunity to raise their own child. More than likely, the father will have no objection to the adoption but he and the child deserve the oppotunity.

Answer 10

Call an adoption lawyer.  You definitely want to do everything according to law.  They will legally search for the birthfather and follow state law for getting him to sign off his rights or having the court relinquish his rights.  The lawyer will also do the birthmother consent forms, post-placement visits and a court date for adoption day.  Right now you need to get a home study done by a social worker.  

Congratulations and best wishes to all involved.

Answer 11

Wait until the baby is born and then see how she feels about things after she's' met her baby. Dont put any undue pressure on her or put her in a position where she feels she 'owes' you her baby

The father has rights also and must be informed his child is being given away and consent to this.  If you by-pass this it may come back and bite you in the butt later down the line

All the best

Answer 12

Wow, I created an account just to answer your question! This is very important to me that you know this.

I am a former social worker who has seen many cases of parents and families work out a legal agreement between each other in order to ensure children are well taken care of.

Your friend seems to be in a situation where she did not want to get pregnant and did not want an abortion after she found out she was pregnant. This might sound abrasive, but it seems that she just wants the problem solved for the time being. However! Weeks, months, or years after an adoption the birth mother may realize the enormous mistake she has made!

1. When her parental rights are terminated and her child is subsequently adopted the law says, "The birth parents and all other biological relatives are for all intents and purposes STRANGERS to the adopted child"

2. Her consent to an adoption is IRREVOCABLE

3. Basically, it's as if she never existed and you become the mother PERMANENTLY

Adoption is not something to enter into nonchalantly. It is permanent and has numerous repercussions!

Now, the last statement in your question hints at what you might rather want to do. The simplest thing to do is for her to hand the baby over to you! Simple as that. It would be a very long term babysitting job! If you were to do this, you would want to obtain 'Power of Attorney' over the infant so you can enroll them in daycare and take them to the Dr., etc. That way, if in the future it would be in the child's best interest to live with his/her own mother, then the legalities would be much more simple than an annulment of an adoption, (which would be VERY hard to obtain from a judge!)

You may also look into Permanent Guardianship for the child. In this arrangement the mother must complete a rehabilitative case plan (parenting classes, drug classes if needed, proof of employment and safe stable housing) in order to regain custody of her child.

Basically, don't adopt! Not in this situation, at least. It just seems that your friend is in a bad spot at the moment. Once she sees her baby and possibly sees other single moms her age taking care of their babies then she will come around and realize motherhood isn't as scary as it seems right now.

However, if the child is much older and his/her mother has not got her act together in such a long period of time you may want to contact an attorney and pursue a Termination of her Parental Rights and subsequent adoption. As far as the father goes, UNFORTUNATELY, they have little rights. If he can't be found or identified then a judge can just say, "Oh well, we don't know who the daddy is, lets terminate his rights anyway!" Ridiculous...

You'd be a great friend if you cared for her baby temporarily instead of letting her terminate her own parental rights and sign her baby away for forever. Just keep in mind how drastic a Termination of Parental Rights is and that if you really need to you can always go back and request her rights be terminated by a judge.

If/When you do contact an attorney, interview at least 3 - 5. Don't hire the first one to talk to. Take notes during the interview and ask a lot of questions!

I really really really hope this helps!!

Answer 13

Definitely NOT! You will need an attorney and she will have to come up with a plausible list of possible fathers... If none come back to be then the courts may allow the babies adoption anyway.... However, you must have lawyer and as long as no one objects it will cost about $2300.00 in the lawyers fees and court costs good luck.

Answer 14

I misunderstood your question at first.  I thought you were asking, "do we have to?"  LOL

Anyway, yes, you need a lawyer, and yes, you need the father's permission.  If I were you, just to make sure everything is legal, I wouldn't do ANYTHING until after the baby is born (to let her have time to change her mind if she wants), and if she is unable to find the father, I'd go for a guardianship arrangement until a father can be identified.  

Children should be with their biological parents if at all possible (barring abuse and neglect).  Besides, if this is an agreed-upon arrangement, and all parties are happy with it, there's really no reason to ever go through with adoption anyway.  When you adopt, the child's original birth certificate is sealed away, and the child has no right to that document without the adoptive parents' permission, which is silly.  This can create problems later in life for them getting medical insurance or a passport.  Besides, it's THEIR information.  It belongs to them, as it should.  Why would anyone want to lock away another person's history, geneology, their truth?  (I'm not saying YOU want to do that, but the state does, unless you're in one of the few states with open records.)  

If you decide to go through with the adoption, I'd suggest putting the child's OBC and any other documentation (medical records, etc,) in a bank vault, and making copies to keep in a fire-proof safe at home, just to be sure that s/he has her/his records.

I'm not sure if this is part of what you're asking, but I'll suggest some reading material, too, in case you're not familiar with the effect of adoption on adoptees:

Twenty things adopted kids wish their adoptive parents knew

The Primal Wound

Helping kids cope with separation and loss

Good luck!