My friend from work left me this. Why was this necessary? ?

Question

I gave resignation at my job. My manager was not happy and literally made some very very inappropriate poorly thought out comments. One was directed at my disabled husband "working now" and that I don't need a job that would pay more as this should make a difference.... totally out of her realm.

I was soo upset that I decided that I could NOT workout the rest of my 2 weeks. I am emotionally truamatized and really not in the right place in my mind to start a new job let alone finish this one.

I had to quit my last job, my manager was hositle and the thought of having to deal with her caused me to actually get sick.

Saying that I had NO choice but to put my physical and mental happiness first and I emailed my manager ( there is NO way I am calling her after her "talk" with me on Monday ) to tell her to due to issues that have become apparant with me I would not be able to finish off my work time and it would not let me perform to the standard of care that I hold myself too.

I called one of my girl friends at work and left her the message that I would not be back without details.. and she text messaged me this.

Smooth move EX LAX.. way to burn a bridge. I would NEVER do this and it is clear that you have NO professionalism. Good luck anyway.

This hurts.. despite her knowing me this kind of joust really hurts.

Answer 1

The way you worded the question makes it sound like this is the second time you have left a job because of your supervisor-that's why you are getting those comments from people.

Anyway, your personal well being is far more important than your job.  Sometimes that means making hard decisions, like the one you have made.  Your work friend should not have said these things without knowing the whole situation, but you are not always going to have support when you need it from people who should support you.  Sounds like you need to move on from this bad experience (including the work friend) and start looking forward to your new position:)  Best of luck!  

Answer 2

Well, it actually is NICE to give a 2 weeks notice, but it is not necessary unless you have been contracted to do so.  A 2 week notice is a myth that is perceived to be etiquette, but it actually is not.  A future employer may enquirer about this, however it is NOT going to prevent you from being hired anywhere!!  TRUST.  Some future employers may ask for you to start right away and give NO notice to your current.  NOT uncommon because my current job asked me to do so, and it's a government position.  

As for the friend, sounds like she got caught up in the office politics, which is unprofessional on her part.  She's not a friend or she wouldn't have said that.  The boss already burned the bridge with the smart remark.  4get her.

As I left my last position, I experienced hostility when I left for this job.  My former boss told me this as I left:  You got to take care of yourself and do what is best for you and your family.  That's business.  

He is an attorney of a national law firm.

You gave them a letter of resignation, that is as professional as it gets.  What was unprofessional is the remarks directed to you in agitation of you resigning....    ROCK ON WITH THE NEW JOB!

Answer 3

You were wrong to fail to serve your 2 weeks.  Your friend was absolutely right that you burned a bridge and displayed a lack of professionalism.  You put both your boss and your co-workers in a bad position of having to cover your job.  Since this is not the first job you have walked away from you need to do some soul searching about what type of work you think you can do.

Answer 4

You asked a very similar question yesterday.  I answered that one too.  You're friend is absolutely right in her text.  What you did was unprofessional and unethical and shows a lack of integrity.  I'll be surprised if you can find another job. Although with RNs in such shortage, I'm sure you will luck out somewhere.  You walked off a previous job (because the manager was hostile) and apparently you couldn't handle this manager either.  The manager may have been unprofessional, true.  However, there were better ways for you to handle this situation.  If you get stressed over such a situation, perhaps you need to find a different career path.  In any case, you could have gone to the HR Department and tendered your resignation to them, explain what happened with your manager, offered to stay your two weeks, left with a good reference in hand and not taken the chance that word will get around that you're a flighty and unreliable worker.  Instead, you opted to over-react and as your friend so aptly put it, "burned a bridge" where you didn't need to.   Since you've put your reason for not staying the two weeks in writing (via email), I'm sure it will find its way into your personnel file and anyone who calls for a reference will be told of the circumstances of your leaving.  Not a great way to be remembered.  

And now you don't even think you can start the new job because you're too distressed!?  Are you working up a case for unemployment benefits so that you don't have to work for awhile?  Because that's the only reason I can see that you would react the way you have.

Answer 5

It wasn't necessary even if she truly felt that way. You were professional until your boss acted like a jerk, I see no reason to stay around for an additional 2 weeks of hurtful comments either. I guess she really wasn't your friend to begin with, just a good co worker. If she should happen to reach out to you just tell her the comment was uncalled for.

Answer 6

Your friend was a jackass for saying this. Normally, it is a bad idea not to work out your last two weeks, but you had a reason for not doing it. Even so, you didn't need such a rude comment from someone who was supposed to be a friend, and might have offered some support in light of your manager's inappropriate comments instead of a scolding.

That being said, it might be good for you to develop a thicker skin. Your manager was wrong to say these things, but you seem to have a history of becoming physically ill from what your boss says to you. If you are going to succeed in the workplace, you wil have to let some things roll off your shoulders, or learn the proper procedure for filing a complaint. But your friend is right in that respect: Going home sick when a manager is rude is not the best way to go.

Answer 7

I'm not sure that I understand what you're saying your boss said about your husband, but it's always unprofessional to walk off the job.  If you had an issue with your boss, you should have talked with her supervisor or someone in HR, told them what happened, and then tried to decide with them what would be the best course of action.

Answer 8

You seem awfully self consumed.  You did burn your bridges with this one, and that displays immaturity and an unprofessional nature.  I think your co-worker was not out of line.  It sounds like you were.

But, whatever, I'm sure you don't really care if anyone disagrees with you.  You just posted here so someone would validate your already formed opinion.

Sorry it didn't work out that way this time.  If I were a co-worker I think my attitude would be "good ridance".

Answer 9

In theory, it's considered unprofessional to walk off a job. However.....!!! I have come close to it a few times.  When you're that traumatized, you really do need to consider your emotional health. Two weeks can seem like an eternity when you are absolutely miserable in a job. Just move ahead and try to put this bad experience behind you. That's all you can do right now.

Answer 10

Not necessary but clearly you let your nerves get the better of you.  You acknowledge that the comments were poorly thought out and inappropriate- so taking them so personally and being so devastated is extreme.  You could have rebutted them at the time- calmly but factually, by saying "Your comments are not valid and have nothing to do with fact.  I have presented my resignation, thank you and good day".  You did the biggest disservice to yourself by leaving the way you did.  Why did her comments upset you so much?  Clearly changing jobs is stressful, but it seems your reaction was excessive, based on your years of experience.  Good luck though with your new employment.

Answer 11

Your friend has a point - sorry it hurts you to hear it, but the truth sometimes hurts.  You are damaging your ability to find new employment, by leaving behind unfavorable references.