My friend had an affair on her husband - Is there anything she can do to make up for it?

Question

My friend had an affair on her husband - Is there anything she can do to make up for it?

Answer 1

Yes do everything her husband wants and obey the new rules when he sets them. She is not in the clear. She does not have the advantage.

Counseling

Personally he should leave her lol

Answer 2

Best thing is to ask the husband only he will know, I suggest therapy if they want to work it out, get all problems out in the open, then judge where to go from there....  

Answer 3

Um Not do it again. DUH!

Sheesh. What a waste of 5 points.

Answer 4

Answer this! How do you make up for something that you obviously wanted at some point if not still? There must have been a lot of downfall in the relationship to begin with, so why now is she feeling bad about an already bad relationship?

Answer 5

no she cant.  its only a matter of time for her to do it again. she is not in love anymore

Answer 6

get on her hands and knees and start puckering up. G/L

Answer 7

Imagine the husband is on a scale from 1 to 100.  Lets say this scale represents his healing.  And lets say after the affair the scale hit 100 and your friend wants to get it back down to healthy levels.

Besides havaing the affair again, you need to be as open and honest as possible.  Any lies could re-set the healing scale or hurt it, and it doesn't sound like your friend wants to do that.

To earn back the trust he needs to see your friend is being open and honest, do it about everything.  Tell him how you are feeling, tell your friend to open herself up about what she did that day, who she talked to etc (This will not have to be done for the rest of her life, but it will help heal).  This will begin to get him to trust your friend, and for him to see your friend is really trying to make a change.  I assume she wants to change or this question would not be here.  Being as open as possible is a big help, being 100% truthful and honest is a big help.

The affair was dishonest, and anything reminding him of dishonesty in general will probably spark his paranoia.  Ask him questions about what bothers him, and *IMPORTANT* do NOT get mad at his answers.  This is a very sensative time for both of you right now, and hopefully he is willing or making some changes too to stop doing what ever helped cause the affair in the first place.  If your friend and her husband can make it through this you are in excellent shape, this practice destroys marriages and lives all by itself, if you both give forgiveness for this act, you are in good shape for any trials down the road.

It sounds like your friend has a good friend and a good husband.

Answer 8

The first thing that has to happen is there needs to be a complete confession of everything.  And Apologie's made. Once that has happened, and an apology has been made.  Than the husband has a choice he has to make.  Will he accept the apology, and forgive, or will he reject the apology and Move on with his life.

If the course of action that the husband takes is to forgive his wife, and keep her, and if the wife is truely Repentant.  Than at that point there is nothing that the wife can or should do to  "MAKE UP FOR IT"

Look at it this way, If a wife was going to be required to Make up for it, That puts the husband and wife on unequal footing, The wife would never know if she had done enough to make up for it.  And it would

actually make it so that her husband has unfair control over her.

Something like that cant be made up for.  The atonement of jesus christ is sufficient to make up for it.  And once the woman has been forgiven, It should be over,  And not hung over her head.

That's not to say that there should not be any repentance on the part of the wife.  But to make up for it, you cant and you shouldn't. The wife SHOULD be strict to avoid possible future problems.  She should keep herself morally clean, Perhaps recieve counsiling, Avoid any tempting movies or media, avoid p**n like the plague it is, and stay near her husband.  The couple should have s*x regularly, used properly, that is the glue that holds a marriage together.  It is a fire that purifies, and if used wrong it is a fire that burns your soul.  So it should be used correctly and often.  It will keep you together.

But outside of these things, once the husband has said he has forgiven the wife, he has no right to be the one making decissions for the 2 of them, There should never be anything in the relationship where cause the wife feels guilty she has to do what the husband wants and surrender control to her husband.

She should not have to do anything to make up for it.

GOOD LUCK

PEACE AND LOVE>>>

Answer 9

Once that bell has been rung....you can't un-ring it.

Answer 10

No! If her husband and her marriage was important to her, she would have never cheated on him. She doesn't respect her husband or her marriage vows and if her husband is smart, he will dump her and find a woman who would never put him through such pain.

Sorry, but I'm a firm believer that once a cheater, always a cheater and know one should waste their life staying married to one.

Answer 11

men and women cheat for different reasons. My husband and I had this conversation last year. He said he would forgive me if I cheated because I would have cheated for the emotional fulfillment he was not giving me. Men cheat for s*x. If a BJ is worth our marriage, we have no business being married- have a good time because I won't forgive him.

Two people make a marriage work and two people make it fail. If he knows about it, see if he is willing to examine the dynamics that led to it. See what he needs to forgive.  

Answer 12

I think that therapy is the best answer if she feels she has really made a mistake.  But, she should tell him about it if he doesn't already know.  It is only fair and may lead to divorce, but she has to take that chance.

Answer 13

Let you in the door if you know what I mean!

Answer 14

she has to ask her own questions

Answer 15

dont be offended, but i think its a question only her husband can answer. hes the one that got cheated on.as for your friend, honestly.only her knows her husband and what she can do for him to gain that trust back.ask her ,she already knows.one thing i know for sure is this.biblicly he has a divine right to divorce her.start praying hard for help in healing and immediate reconciliation.whew.

Answer 16

if she still loves him they should go 2 marriage counseling  

Answer 17

Only her husband can answer that.  It would be hard for me to forgive that kind of betrayal from my husband.  The question would be is can the trust be rebuilt?